My test is coming, and please please help me grade this essay?

<p>My test is coming, and I need some help on essay? Could anybody help me grade this essay? And give me some advice on how to improve it. Thanks in advance!!
Assignment: Is it best to determine how wise people are by how happy they are ?</p>

<pre><code>Happy people may have a wise brain; however, to determine whether a person is wise or not is not supposed to be based on how happy they are. Newton was said to be one of the most brilliant people in human history but his life was filled with scornful experience. Beethoven, as people known, lived a struggled life due to the almost deaf ears; however, he was a giant in the field of music. Lincoln, one of the greatest president in US history, is an another example to prove that some of the wise people do not live a happy life.
Behind of a great and wise people is not a happy life but painful experience. Isaac Newton was a famous example to well illustrate this. Newton was born in a poor family, and his mother abandoned him soon after his father’s death, and at that time he was only 3 months. Having raised by his grandmother in a very poor condition, little newton soon started to learn physics and calculus, and by his intelligence and hard-work, he was accepted by Cambridge University. However, accepting by Cambridge university was supposed to be a happy thing. Black plague happened, and his life suddenly fell off from heaven to the hell. However, he chose to go on studying while struggled with illness. Adversity leads to prosperity, newton invented found gravity and invented a lot of great works for modern physics, and he was remembered by all human being. But no one saw he ever smiled a little in his life, even his portray.
The life of Beethoven also proved that wise people lived hardly, and they were not happy. Faced with piano every day, young Beethoven had never been happy during his childhood. However, it was not a big deal. What almost ruined his life was his deafness. After losing his listening ability, Beethoven lived almost liked a ghost, without seeing the sunshine. With his great pain, Beethoven created many great pieces, such as No. 9 symphony. His life was said to be legendary, but had he been happy for a while.
In US president history, Lincoln was the most successful one; he used his life to also address that wise people were not happy. Failed in many times governor elections, suffered from mental illness, and his most loved girlfriend passed away when he was 27. Lincoln’s life was hard. Great inspiration enabled this wise man becoming the US president later in his painful life.
In conclusion, happy people may live in a good and wise life. However, happiness should not be used a standard to measure whether a people is wise or not. At least, from the lives of Newton, Beethoven and Lincoln, we do not see that they were very happy.
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<p>How old are you and what country are you from? Just curious.</p>

<p>I would just briefly say to remember that knowledge and wisdom are two different things</p>

<p>Several grammar mistakes but not bad.GL</p>

<p>I would give it a 3.
You make a grammatical error almost every sentence, especially with subject-verb agreement and verb tense. Your diction is lackluster - Lincoln’s life was…hard?
Analysis is fine, but you don’t organize well. You need a clear introduction paragraph with a good thesis, as well as focused paragraphs with topic sentences, to make sure that your paper has direction. It seems like you had a lot of good ideas but came up with them and wrote them as you went instead of planning beforehand.</p>

<p>Work on your grammar. Study Writing sections also, which should help you to get a grip on writing proper English.</p>

<p>This essay seemed very sporadic. Did you prepare an answer before writing it or just start by immediately putting pen to paper? It would behoove you to think through your answer a bit before writing one out. Additionally, having a loose fitting essay pre-planned is a good strategy in approaching the SAT. I had success writing about Rosa Parks and found that my general essay could be bent to answer almost any prompt. Try it out! Also, experiment with a concise introductory paragraph ([Insider</a> Test Prep | THE SAT ESSAY: THE OPENING PARAGRAPH ? DO YOU REALLY NEED A PHILOSOPHICAL SENTENCE?](<a href=“http://insidertestprep.com/2013/05/21/the-sat-essay-the-opening-paragraph-do-you-really-need-a-philosophical-sentence/]Insider”>http://insidertestprep.com/2013/05/21/the-sat-essay-the-opening-paragraph-do-you-really-need-a-philosophical-sentence/)). Finally, you really need to work on grammatical errors, descriptive adjectives, and subject-verb tense agreement. Keep working!</p>