<p>My son is now in his late 20’s, as are his friends. I have yet to know one person from our area that was accepted to Stanford. While in CA, a federal judge had a son who was accepted. He was in the 1% academically and with ECs. My son and a friend had near perfect scores, each had been in state competitions, my son had a national award (in literature, of all things); his friend had a terrific award in different field. Stanford has their pick, by their criteria.</p>
<p>so please, don’t fill your daughter’s head with dreams. See how she does on PSATs and future ACT/SAT. Then look closer to home, in GA, UF, FL State, USC (So Caro). </p>
<p>I’m not trying to be mean, just realistic. I think it is tougher now than 10 years ago. If your DD aspires for medical school, she needs to be a top student at UG. Look back at Curmudgeon’s thread. His DD was accepted to Yale, but took the full-ride at Rhodes. She ended up at Yale for med school.</p>
<p>OP- everyone loves Stanford. It’s like me test driving a Mercedes- sure it’s got a nicer ride than my 9 year old Honda. Why wouldn’t I want a Mercedes? I’ve never heard of anyone who has one who has a single bad thing to say about their Mercedes.</p>
<p>That’s Stanford. Only problem is that your D is not getting in to Stanford. If you think that being adopted is a hook- well, barring some truly unusual origin story, it’s not. A hook is being an award winning cellist who grew up in a homeless shelter. Developing a test for prostate cancer which costs $1 per test instead of the current $50 diagnostic, and which is much more accurate. Having a rough start in life and ending up with loving parents who want to help you go to college is not a hook.</p>
<p>Of course she should reach high. But given what you’ve posted, she’s got a better shot being happy where she ends up if she can articulate the qualities of places like Rice and Stanford that she likes, and then trying to find other colleges where she will really shine in the applicant pool, which share those qualities.</p>
<p>Having a great pre-med program describes about 250 colleges in the US- many of which would love to have a student like your D.</p>
<p>I know a couple of kids like your D in real life. They spend junior year hankering after one or two colleges which are unrealistic. The parents don’t want to dash their dreams, so they don’t sit down together and say, “we can pay 5K out of current income, we’ve got 10K per year saved for you in your college account, and we can afford a home equity loan of 2.5K per year. So you’ve got 17.5K identified for four years- you need to find an affordable choice based on those numbers”.</p>
<p>Come April of senior year everyone is angry and exhausted. The kid is angry because he or she is heading off to a college which meets none of the criteria except that it’s affordable. The parents are angry because their kid who is so special to them racked up a stack of rejections except for two- a college they can’t afford, and the dud the kid applied to because they were forced to (and where the kid is going). And the exhaustion- well, that goes without saying. $500 spent on applications and sending scores to places the kid had no chance of getting admitted to- well, that $500 would sure come in handy right about now- furnishing the dorm room, or paying for the trips home for Xmas and Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>Don’t be like these families. Figure out the exact dollar amount you can afford. Sit down as a unit and discuss what that means. Not, “If you got into Stanford we would come up with the money”. That’s not a plan.</p>
<p>Here is a thought- Your daughter needs to sit down and study for the ACT. If she is not going to do that in order to achieve the goal of attending UGA (or Stanford for that matter) then I just don’t see how she is going to have what it takes to get through the pre med track and then medical school. Raising her ACT score to support her fantastic grades will show she has the will to complete the pre-med requirements. It is ok if she isn’t pre med but it may be interesting to find out what her level of commitment is to the goal. On another note, as a parent I believe you have a responsibility to present to her a dose of reality and help her find realistic college options for her grades and ultimate ACT score and your budget. Wishful thinking on the part of a parent does her no good. And I also think it is important to make searching for these safety schools or visiting them a fun and pleasant experience. Not some punishment for not having scores high enough for Stanford.</p>
<p>How about “study for the ACT and get up to a score high enough to make U of Alabama affordable, or you are going to school in Georgia”? Like other posters above, I am not saying this to be mean, but you are floating right along with her. And agree she is not getting into Stanford. The 25th percentile ACT is 31, and she has no hook and no great accomplishments. It is literally a waste of time and energy for her to be looking.</p>
<p>“She is now discussing University of Alabama as a safety”.</p>
<p>???</p>
<p>Does your D understand what a safety is? A safety isn’t just a school that she can get it, it ALSO has to be affordable.</p>
<p>Right now, she doesnt’ qualify for one dime of merit money, so you’d be full-pay at $40k per year…that is hardly a safety when you can only pay:</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Explain to your D that safeties have to be affordable…obviously there is NO point having an acceptance in hand, if you can’t afford to go there. Having a Bama acceptance in hand, will mean that if she gets rejected to every other school, she STILL can’t go to Bama because it is unaffordable. </p>
<br>
<br>
<p>What could that possibly be? Does she understand what a premed program is? It isn’t anything special…it is regular chem, bio, ochem, physics, calc, psych, and socio classes. I wonder if she’s pulling your leg because she’s hoping you won’t find out that premed isn’t a “program”…it’s just regular STEM classes that other STEM students take.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Kids make these sort of statements all the time as leverage to get their parents to borrow more and pay more. The truth is that a number of her schools are simply “state schools”…and state schools are state schools. </p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Great that tuition is paid for! UGA is fine for a premed student. The premed prereqs (mentioned above) are basic classes that are taught well at MOST schools. </p>
<p>I would insist that your D sit down while doing the Net Price Calculators and tell her that any school that has a net cost of over $15k is off the list completely. </p>
<p>Just my own opinion, but Georgia College (the public LAC) is likely her best bet. </p>
<p>Psychology is a staple major at univs…any decent college is going to have a decent psych dept. It’s not hard to have a decent psych dept.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>She would need an ACT 32 for Bama to be even close to being affordable. The net cost has to be what her parents will pay plus maybe a small student loan (which isn’t advisable for a premed anyway)</p>
<p>Test optional at Temple would likely mean NO MERIT awards and being full pay. Temple is quite upfront about its merit offers…they are tied to test scores. So, going test optional would likely mean no merit awards. </p>
<p>This family needs the net cost to be about $10k… That means that the merit award would have to be at least FULL tuition (not just the OOS portion).</p>
<p>" She also intends to be a psychology pre-med major if that helps."
-For pre-med the name of UG and prestige does not matter. Med. Schools care about college GPA (should be 3.6+ as min.), MCAT score, medical ECs and somewhat social personality (determined via interview). Having full tuition or close clovered in UG is also a great plus if considering Med. School (they are expensive, might as well save while in UG).
So, if Medical School is in plans, just choose the school that fits personality and wide range of interest, pursue personal goals outside of academics, Med. School time is extremely limited, breaks are few and short.
Couple publics that are on your list, OSU and U of M are stringent with Merit awards. However, if financial side is of no concern, then you just visit and decide.<br>
This is a prospective of a parent of 4th year Medical student. My D. went to state public because she loved the school. She veisited multiple times to form her opinion. Looking back, the place was a perfect fit with many more opportunities than we ever imagined. But, again, it would not fit everybody else. It is very important to find out for yourself.</p>
<p>have toured Milledgeville when we were looking at schools for my son and neither of them like how small it was. What it seems my daughter is looking for in a school is </p>
<br>
<br>
<p>I suspected the above are a part of her wants. Does she have any idea how expensive it is to do pledge? I doubt that you’re going to be paying the extra few thousand per year for her to be in a sorority, so who will pay for that?</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>What does that mean? Get a 28 and you’ll pay for what? The test? ALL of a school’s costs??? What? I hope it doesn’t mean that you’ll pay all of a school’s cost if she gets an ACT 28. She could end up at Bama and they you’d be paying almost $40k per year plus Greek Life costs. Be CAREFUL what you promise…lol</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Being adopted is not a hook. Who told you that? </p>
<p>@MiamiDAP wrote:
“”" She also intends to be a psychology pre-med major if that helps."
-For pre-med the name of UG and prestige does not matter. Med. Schools care about college GPA (should be 3.6+ as min.), MCAT score, medical ECs and somewhat social personality (determined via interview). Having full tuition or close clovered in UG is also a great plus if considering Med. School (they are expensive, might as well save while in UG).
So, if Medical School is in plans, just choose the school that fits personality and wide range of interest, pursue personal goals outside of academics, Med. School time is extremely limited, breaks are few and short."</p>
<p>@MiamiDAP and I both have children in med school. Both of our kids went to state schools. Her child went to Miami-Ohio and mine went to Alabama. Both our kids received very large merit scholarships for their high stats, so their undergrad costs were low. Both of our kids had very successful med school app cycles and received multiple med school acceptances. </p>
<p>Again, many or most test optional schools require scores for merit aid, but financial aid is unaffected if you do not submit scores. But kids who have pretty good grades but do not do well on tests, can do well with admissions to test optional schools if you can pay for them or your EFC is low enough.</p>
<p>Dreaming of being a doctor is a phase many young people go through: some persist and some grow out of it :)</p>
<p>@blossom @mom2collegekids I agree. Stanford is the ‘if only…’ school and after talking to her, she does realize the improbability of actually attending. Also, I guess I should have clarified she is adopted from China after being left by river to essentially starve to death by her birth parents. A good samaritan brought her to a local orphanage. Not sure if this would change anything about being a hook but I’m sure she can write an essay on it.
Also, I would just pay for the ACT cost should she get a 28 or above. </p>
<p>@naviance I realize the unrealistic expectations she has but before creating this thread, I couldn’t accurately verbalize my reasonings. That is why I thank all of the wonderful contributors for helping me create a dialogue with her about her college process. Also, we will make sure she cracks down on the ACT. </p>
<p>I apologize for any lack of understanding I may be showing. My son just settled on a state school and we payed very little for tuition so out of state wasn’t as much of a discussion with him. I suppose this is why I am also leaning towards in state for my daughter as well. Tonight I told her what we were and were not willing to pay for tuition. We told her she is always welcome to apply for scholarships but she needs to get more realistic. She claimed she would just ‘take out a loan’ until we explained that loans are very difficult to pay back. Right now I hope she is letting it all sink in.</p>
<p>thanks for the clarification on the ACT…that makes sense! :)</p>
<p>The adoption story is interesting, but likely not a hook. </p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Explain to her that she CAN’T “just take a loan” because she has no credit…she can’t qualify. The fed gov’t will only lend her $5500 for freshman year. That isn’t even advisable because she’d have huge loans for med school.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Yes. But make sure she understands that those are usually one-time only awards for incoming frosh. She needs to make sure that she has all four years funded.</p>
<p>Just as a point of reference, my child did not get into Stanford, UNC Chapel Hill, or USC (CA) with a 34 ACT. UNC is almost as hard to get into as an out of state student as Harvard.</p>
<p>I think it’s great that you’re having this conversation now,in the beginning of her junior year, than later - say end of her junior year. She still has time to retake the ACT at least two more times, and look for schools that really suit her. What you may want to do with her is find a range of schools fitting her current ACT score. The current list is totally unrealistic - sorry. </p>
<p>I used <a href=“http://www.collegesimply.com”>www.collegesimply.com</a> (I think that’s the url) that lists colleges and universities by test scores (either SAT or ACT) for a quick browse. I also googled [name of school] plus “common data set” - that will give a fuller picture of the college or university’s applicants and freshman class in terms of academics, test scores and financial aid. And finally, run the NPC on each university/college website as well to estimate the college costs (look at the estimate BEFORE any loans are given as “aid”).</p>
<p>All North Carolina public universities limit their OOS undergraduate students to 18% of the undergraduate student population. This means competition is very very stiff among OOS applicants.</p>
<p>Also, remember that at a big sports school that fields a full slate of D1 teams a chunk of the lower end scores may be tied to recruited athletes. </p>
<p>@sitamom Both of my adopted Asian kids (S15 from Vietnam, D17 from China) are also enamored with southern California. As for many kids, adopted or not, it seems so much more exciting than home (for us, southcentral PA). My kids like the climate there, particularly my daughter, who hates cold weather. I know they both would also prefer to be in an area with a higher percentage of Asians. All of this makes sense, but I’ve made it clear to my kids that California will not be a possibility for undergraduate studies, as both are above average but not top students and our income is quite limited. They can try to find a job in California after they graduate from college.</p>
<p>@sitamom, I think it’s fine to have a reach school on the list, as long as she has schools she loves that aren’t so reachy. FWIW, my daughter applied to Stanford two years ago. She was salutatorian of her class, had all kinds of awards, was captain of her cross country team, a National Merit Finalist, went to Breadloaf, had a 2340 SAT (single sitting), AND was a legacy. Guess what? She was rejected, along with 94% of the others who applied.</p>
<p>I don’t say this to scare you, only to point out the type of student that Stanford and schools like it reject. My husband now wants our son to apply there (lower SAT and GPA, but still a top student). I think it’s a total waste of an application fee. I even think my son’s ED school, Brown, with its slightly higher acceptance rate, was kind of a waste, but we did let him apply because he was so passionate about it. In the meantime, we are trying to help him find places that he is likely to get into and that he can also love. I hope your daughter does this as well!</p>
<p>Well, another point of reference, my kid did not even apply to top colleges at all. She said that she will do fine anywhere. I bet any top caliber hard working HS kid can claim the same. However, prestige is important in some fields, so do not get me wrong, Thankfully, none of us in our family cared and none needed to care. Well, it may change wiht the first Grandkid, but she is in NYC very hard to get into test-in HS where everybody wants to go to Harvard…so who knows…</p>
<p>At the same point in his junior year my son had an the abysmal score of 1100ish (CR&M) on his PSAT and his first ACT score was a 26 (taken in early spring of Junior year.) He started working with a tutor in January of Junior through the end of the summer going into Senior yr. He ended up with SAT in the mid 1900’s and a 32 ACT. Schools we were thinking about early on were thrown into the bin by the end of his junior year - replaced with much higher ranked schools. He took both the ACT and the SAT( for the first time) at the very end of his junior year (scores 30 and 1950ish) and the ACT again in fall. </p>
<p>He had two reaches, two matches and the rest (5) were pretty much safeties. He was accepted to all of them. In hindsight he probably could have had fewer safety schools on his list and possibly more reaches - but he is at the school which was his first choice, so it’s all good. </p>
<p>He is also Asian (adopted from Korea) and we also found that his FA packages were considerably more than we expected as he was considered a URM at small liberal arts school in the NE. I can’t think of any other reason he was given so much more except these schools really want to have diversity on campuses. </p>
<p>You might want to consider getting your D a tutor for the SAT/ACT. </p>