<p>So, this past semester has been exceedingly rough on me. My parents separated back in February, and now live in two separate households. They are now operating two households on one income, and are unable to support me anymore. I got a job 2 months ago, and work 6 nights a week to pay for my personal expenses. I just recently found out that my parents have not paid my tuition, and I have been unable to register for classes for the fall semester. My summer school classes, which I need to take in order to graduate, are at risk of cancellation because of nonpayment. </p>
<p>I'm failing one of my classes this semester because I've been unable to devote much attention to it given my circumstances. It is too late for me to drop the course, and I have no chance at passing it. I have a meeting with my adviser scheduled for next week, but given the timeframe it is unlikely that he will be able to do anything to rectify my situation. My GPA can't afford to take anymore hits. </p>
<p>I'm just wondering what options I have right now. I feel like my entire future has been scuttled, and am not sure what options remain for me. I'm already a semester behind, and don't want to take another semester off. However, any advice is appreciated.</p>
Did you talk to them about this? Did they not pay on purpose or were they perhaps too caught up in the separation and they didn’t get to it? If they didn’t pay on purpose, did they indicate whether they plan on playing and if so, when?</p>
<p>Agree with several above…if you can salvage this semester grade-wise in discussion with your advisor then go to financial aid and ask about an emergency loan to get your bill up to date. Call your parents - both of them and find out quickly what the situation going forward will be. Prepare yourself that you might have to drop the idea of summer classes if your parents cannot sort everything out quickly, but do try to come to some understanding regarding the fall. If your FAFSA for the fall was filed with both parents before the separation ask your finaid office if you can revise it to reflect the separation.</p>
<p>I would also talk to the prof and see if there is ANY possibility of getting and incomplete. Right now, money is a huge consideration for you and salvaging a course represents saving money. I know it is a long shot, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. </p>
<p>I understand how much you want to graduate, but honestly, it would be better to put less pressure on yourself in terms of time so that you can be the best possible student. </p>
<p>Like the other parents on this thread - I am sorry to hear that your folks are not behaving like adults right now. They may be good people, but right now they have forgotten their responsibility as parents.</p>
<p>I think you’ve been given good advice above - to consolidate, I’d:
a) go to professors and explain your situation and see if it’s possible for them to give you any accommodations such as incompletes in order to allow you to work on getting the best GPA possible.
b) talk to your parents candidly about their ability to provide for you financially. Does this mean you’re on your own for the rest of your college expenses or is this a temporary situation for them until they get on their feet in their new living situations?
c) go to financial aid office and explain your situation and see if there is any possibility of them reconsidering your financial aid status and/or providing a loan to cover this semester’s costs at a minimum.
d) you may have to consider taking a leave of absence in order to make some money to cover future expenses and establish that you’re now independent (and hopefully eligible for more financial aid). </p>
<p>So sorry that you’re having to struggle with these issues! Keep us posted on how you’re doing -</p>
<p>Go to the Dean of students. They can help advise you. They are a central place that can help you contact the prof and see if you have options. They can help you with who to speak with in FA. They can help tell you if the school has any emergency loan money.</p>
<p>Go to the Dean of Students…also I would suggest a short term counseling plan with the college counselor to address the way the divorce is impacting you, as I know how disheartening and destabilizing having both parents in shaky transitions can feel. The counselor might also help you think about how to handle the fact that your work hours and distraction hurt your course performance…and prevented you from considering withdrawal at the right time.
Please know that college staffers are aware that many families break up and experience divorce at this time in life. They will understand that you are in the “soup” and working to get back in balance with new circumstances. Hang in there…there is life after divorcing adult parents and their drama…they will some day recover and regroup on their own so you must now “parent yourself” and take care of your own goals and well being while they are unable to function well. Talk to other adults…you deserve an ear and some support as you problem solve here.</p>
<p>Some great advice here, thanks to everyone.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yes, I talked to them about it. Apparently, they are both strapped for cash right now because they are running two households on one income. They’ve stated that they’ll pay it as soon as possible, but given their track record this semester I don’t have much confidence. </p>
<p>But, I didn’t think about looking at an emergency loan or that sort of thing. That may be able to help, so I’ll start looking into that as soon as possible. </p>
<p>I’ve also emailed the professor of the class that I’m having difficulty with, in the hopes of meeting with him in person to discuss what options I have. He seems like a nice guy, and I’m hopeful that things will go positively with him. </p>
<p>Anyways, thanks to everyone for your input. I’ve been racking my brain for days trying to figure out a way to get things taken care of before summer classes start, and after only 12 hours on here I’m now full of ideas that I didn’t think of before. You guys really are helpful.</p>
<p>Also, your school may have counseling resources, usually a part of student health. I would suggest you should talk to them as they can tell you about coping strategies, as this is affecting your class work. So don’t be hesitant, reach out to them, they would have dealt with such situations before and could give you some good advice. They could also tell you whom you need to contact in your school as they know all the players.</p>
<p>I think the thing I learned after many years…and a few years of angst with divorcing parents at the age of Cuse057…is that nothing I did or didn’t do, none of my efforts, made any difference whatsoever on how my parents fumbled through their divorce, recovered or coped and got on their way again… and it was hard as the years went on to recognize that they were simply too fragile to put my concerns or the fall-out on me as a priority…Divorce has a lot of collateral damage. However a lot of that damage is temporary… which is the second lesson. Life is long. People find other partners and you must live your own life as fully as possible why they reinvent theirs.</p>
<p>It is possible that the school counselor, after more conversations with you, might help you withdraw past deadline from this course, but I have no idea. You have been in a state of distress handling information for which you were not prepared. </p>
<p>Life is messy sometimes but you will prevail and have a rich life and perhaps offer compassion and guidance to friends or your own children some day from lessons learned.</p>
<p>I also encourage you to go to the Dean of Students. It’s good that you’ve contacted your professor and will contact financial aid but you need to speak to someone who can help you with the entire situation. Situations like this are exactly why there is a Dean of Students, they want to hear from as soon as possible and they want to help. </p>
<p>If you quit your job, can you pass your class?</p>
<p>I’d quit your job (working at college wages) rather than fail classes. Focus on getting your degree, you’ll look back at your college wages in 10 years time and just laugh.</p>
<p>I second the suggestion of mazewanderer to see school counseling. Your parents, out of their own personal disappointments, anger and/or sadness, appear to have regressed away from their parental roles. You need to see someone - and a counselor is a good place to start - who is concerned about you, not about themselves. Your parents aren’t in a place to do that for you right now.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry you’re in this positioin. Good luck, and I hope a refiled FAFSA will be helpful.</p>
<p>I don’t have anything to add to these very good suggestions, but I do hope that some of these work out for you. You’ve been swimming against a very strong current – time to see if a life preserver might be available.</p>
<p>These are all excellent suggestions. You must realize that your needs are important, and teachers/counselors will often not notice unless you beat on their doors and tell them you need help, right now. For every rule, there is always an exception, and usually emergency loans. I know it seems like a crisis now, and you should be able to have a parent to help you. It is very hard when the people you trust the most let you down, but you will get through this. Just take action now. If the teacher won’t give you a withdrawal and flunks you, so be it, you’ll just have to deal with the situation afterwards. And I must say…I have never had an employer ask me what my GPA was, one single time.</p>