Need a very serious advice from ex-adm officers

Applying to College
1

<p>I have quite an unusual situation, and I need a quick and serious advice.</p>

<p>I have already applied to everywhere I wanted, but still...</p>

<p>I am an international applicant. I have been to the U.S. last school year, as an exchange student (gap year now). The year was great, except one accident, when my mother got cussed at in the class by another kid. In our culture mothers are nearly saint, ranked higher than "God" for sure, so being extremely stupid I said "next day I will bring my gun". I did not say anything else, and we both laughed it off, but teacher heard it, and took both of us to guidance. There I got explained that in the U.S. any jokes w/ knives, guns, anything of that type are taken extremely seriously, and are not allowed. In my country it is no big deal - jokes like I will kill you, I will shoot you, etc. are considered nothing special (I know it may sound very very weird, but nevertheless). They do not mean that you are going to hurt someone, but just some... stupidity. Like "your mom", I guess. So I got told that they all understand the situation, that they knew I didn't know the rules, didn't know that I couldn't say these things, but according to the law I have to be suspended for one day. So both of us got suspended. We made peace after that, I mean it was just stupid situation. Later, I decided to apply to colleges in the U.S., and when I asked if it will hurt me all of the people told me same thing - they can't hold it against you, they understand that you come from different country, with different traditions, and that it is ok to say it there, and it doesn't mean hurting anyone. Just explain that you understood that in the U.S. it is not allowed, and you never did ever again. So I said ok, and wrote a short explanation, that I made a gun threat, then I got explained that saying anything gun-related is not allowed, and that I took it as a lesson. Since then, I have talked to many different people, and one person closely related to the admission process told me that I was very very stupid to write it this way, and word GUN will immediately turn 99% of American adcoms off. They won't care different country, tradition, or culture, bcs after what happened in VT they would rather take anyone else. He said I should've wrote nothing, or a squabble, even a fight, but not word GUN... Then he asked me what was written on my U.S. transcript, and I said nothing ia mentioned on there, commonapp just said write honestly, and that's what I did... I have no idea what to do right now. Should I write a super detailed letter that would explain our culture, jokes, and stuff, why I said it? That I never ever saw a real gun in my life (for real), let alone hold or own it? I just don't know what to do... I was being honest, I thought the adm. officers are people who know how to deal and understand this stuff... I have never ever been in a fight or anything, and I do not want to be thought of as some weird terrorist because I happened to say this stupidity, acceptable in my country... I mean if you come to my country and do your mom joke, you will be warned at first not to do it, because of cultural difference... Please help, any advices highly appreciated</p>

2

<p>In retrospect, you probably shouldn’t have used “gun” anywhere in your explanation. However, the past is the past, you should focus on what you can do now. </p>

<p>Could you perhaps type exactly (or as close to) what you wrote?</p>

3

<p>I had an argument with a classmate during which I said that “next day I will bring my gun”. Both of us were taken to the guidance, where I was explained that gun jokes are not permitted in the U.S. I was told that according to the law I had to be suspended and hence received one day suspension. Unfortunately, the other student did too. We talked after that, made peace, and agreed that the whole situation was quite childish. It was first and last time I had any disciplinary action taken against me. This accident became one of the things I am very ashamed of doing in my life, and I was shocked that I had said this to begin with. I took it as a lesson, and will not allow myself anything of this type even again.</p>

<p>I should have not responded to the guy in the first place, I know it… I mean… I just didn’t know I can’t say stuff like that in the U.S. And I am supposed to be honest in explanation. I was, but now I am getting told that I shouldn’t have been</p>

4

<p>i agree you shouldnt have explained it</p>

<p>but you did a good job of explaining it, and its obvious you didnt know.</p>

<p>so dont worry… i wouldnt call any more attention to it
dont call the schools or write an essay about gun jokes or anything</p>

5

<p>Well, if I didn’t explain it I would have lied, because I WAS suspended. And I thought that they not only ask for a reason, but also for explanation because they understand people. I mean, they work there for several years, get lots of apps every year… I thought it was ok. I did not know, I had this experience, and I took something from it for myself. But if it is as some people described me - they see word gun, and freak out, throwing your app into rejected pile… Idk. I am lost</p>

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<p>Moderators or any other really competent people, any thoughts?</p>

7

<p>You are correct in thinking that the mention of gun will turn off many people, including admissions officers. You may get accepted somewhere, but do not expect to receive many acceptances after all of the trouble with shootings and such around the USA. You are probably going to be perceived as a danger to the community.</p>

8

<p>I don’t have any advice, but I wanted to say don’t feel bad . . . When I was in high school 10+ years ago (in the US) my friends and I joked about guns, killing, and bombings all the time. We never got in trouble. People take it more seriously now, as you discovered, not because everyone who jokes about gun is going to blow someone away, but “just in case.” Hopefully the people who read the applications will realize that you were just blowing off steam in that incident.</p>

9

<p>Thanks for the warm words. I am not feeling bad because of a possibility of being imagined as a “terrorist”, because of saying this stupidity and coming from a country with a predominantly Muslim (albeit not practicing) population. I agree with you, that before the terrorist attacks it was much more relaxed. I guess it depends on a teacher, too. I had a class where American kids would joke like “Ima kill you” and so on, and no one seemed to care. Only at times, teacher would say something like “guys, don’t talk like that…”, but it was obvious that they weren’t going to kill each other, and she knew it.</p>

<p>What DOES make me feel bad, however, is that this incident might be considered regardless of circumstances. I have read all these fancy words on the websites about “holistic evaluation”, “no single factor that would automatically mean rejection” e.t.c., and came to a conclusion that people who review applications are very experienced and understand specific situations like mine. And that I probably should describe what had happened to me due to my ignorance on this matter, what I took from it, and how else it has impacted me (it actually did me a great deal of good in terms of ignoring provocations and not saying stuff that might be perceived differently). But as some people told me, if this situation would automatically turn off adcoms, then it is a reason for a concern. A concern whether or not I want to go to a school of this type, where it matters how you sell yourself, and how you substitute the “unwanted” words with the “correct” ones, or even lie to make adcoms feel more comfortable (it’s not on transcript, we don’t want to know, eh?). I am by no way an overqualified applicant to the schools of my choice, so they will be able to find someone with a clean record. I guess I will just write a much more detailed explanation that the one I did in the beginning, elaborate on everything, culture, what, why, with what purpose, what I took from it, and wait till March 15-31. That will be the answer.</p>