Denied, disappointed, but still trying... What are my chances?

Chance Me / Match Me!
1

<p>Hello Guys!</p>

<p>I have been roaming the forums for quite some time but have never posted anything. I find everyone here sincerely supporting and helpful so I'm hoping for some input on my chances.</p>

<p>I was ambitious but ,turns out, naive and delusional with the apps. I'm interested in business (undeclared) and I applied ED to Columbia (Business Management), and EA to Northeastern( McKim) and Fordham (Gabelli). Waiting on UC Berkeley, UCSD expecting nothing. Columbia rejection was not a surprise. But Northeastern (legacy brother there) rejection and Fordham deferral were hard reality slaps that brought me back to earth. </p>

<p>Here is my info:</p>

<p>Objective:
[ *] ACT (breakdown): 29 (E:34,M:26,R:27,S:29, E+W:32)
[ *] SAT II: Sending January Math I and II. ~ 800 and 750 expected
[ *] Unweighted GPA (out of 4.0): 3.89
[ *] Weighted GPA (if available):
[ *] Rank/percentile (if available): top 5% of 110
[ *] AP (place score in parenthesis): AP Microeconomics(4), AP Statistics (3)
[ *] IB (place score in parenthesis): No scores yet
[ *] Senior Year Course Load: All IB: History HL, English HL, Physics HL, Econ SL, Spanish SL1, Math SL
[ *] Major Awards (USAMO, Intel etc.): English Literature Prize school wide, Cum Laude, High Honor Roll multiple, Tennis Coaches' award (JV 2013/ Varsity 2014), 100+ international service award.</p>

<p>Subjective:
[ *] Extracurriculars (place leadership in parenthesis): Soccer V, Tennis JV( Captain 2013), Tennis V (Co-captain 2014), House Proctor ( Student leader), International Leader, School Ambassador.
[ *] Job/Work Experience:
[ *] Volunteer/Community service: several community service events.
[ *] Summer Activities: Harvard Summer School: Psychology - B, Intro to Digital Media - A.
[ *] Essays: Wrote about my unique experience in the US (expelled from first school and thrived in next school) very descriptive with effective imagery and message; 9/10
[ *] Teacher Recommendation: 10/10 (both love me)
[ *] Counselor Rec: 10/10 (was my teacher - loves me)
[ *] Additional Rec: no</p>

<p>[ /list][ b]Other[ /b][ list]
[ *] Applied for Financial Aid?: No
[ *] Intended Major: Undeclared Business
[ *] State (if domestic applicant):
[ *] Country (if international applicant): Kazakhstan
[ *] School Type: Boarding Private
[ *] Ethnicity: Asian
[ *] Gender: M
[ *] Hooks (URM, first generation college, etc.): Unique experience with expulsion due to a stupid mistake ( had BB guns on campus). Sounds extremely dumb but I used the event to my advantage in the essay as it served as turning point leading to desire to thrive and succeed (shown with very strong upward trend in grades, leadership, sport). Hope it reflects strength of character and ability to overcome challenge. If anyone is interested I would love to post the essay.</p>

<p>Now, I'm planning to apply ED II to NYU (most likely not Stern and multiple campuses), Babson, GW, Syracuse, UMich, Notre Dame, Cornell ( no point probably so maybe not), Wash U, Bentley, American U.</p>

<p>Thank you to everyone who will take time to read this and respond!</p>

2

<p>Here’s my feedback. Your GPA is very good and class rank is strong. For a highly selective college you are coming into senior year without that many AP courses and 3 scores on AP tests are not terribly impressive. Good enough for some state college course validation but not as impressive as 4 or 5 scores. Kazakhstan would certainly check off the geographic diversity box. Your 29 ACT is on the low side for some of these colleges. a 32 score would position you much better or if you killed the SAT subject tests and scored 750 - 800 that’d help you a lot for those schools that care about subject tests. Most don’t, but if they consider subject tests they are very important. You have a very interesting background and just about any college of the ones you have mentioned would be interested but you will need a college to want to take a chance on an international student with a few gaps. What is really your central theme anyway? You don’t want colleges to remember you as the BB gun kid do you, that’s not a helpful visual</p>

3

<p>Thank you so much for your response and encouragement! </p>

<p>It appears that math subject tests are important for theses colleges because a) I have a pretty low math score on ACT and b) I’m applying for a business major. </p>

<p>I agree that AP’s are weak but I am hoping to impress with high scores on IB courses ( test results are not usually considered by american colleges)</p>

<p>In my essay , I focused on my redemption post-expulsion. I did not mention the expulsion event at all (in the disciplinary section though) and it was a narrative on the profound effect it had on me and how it spurred my ambition and drive. I’m certain that It’s truly " my voice" but it might be too “motivational speaker style” I imagine. </p>

4

<p>Your ACT score is very very LOW! Being expelled is NOT a hook. Your ECs are average at best. All that and being an Asian here are my thoughts.</p>

<p>ED II to NYU reach
GW high match
Syracuse match
UMich reach
Notre Dame high reach
Cornell high reach
Bentley match
American U high match/low reach</p>

5

<p>@mmmmmmmmm‌ </p>

<p>Thanks for your thoughts! I did not mean that explosion is a hook. I meant that It serves as a completely non-traditional circumstance that I have used to my advantage. It is a event which I consider central to the development of my identity. Would you agree?</p>

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<p>@Wje9164be‌ </p>

<p>Thank you so much for your response and encouragement!</p>

<p>It appears that math subject tests are important for theses colleges because a) I have a pretty low math score on ACT and b) I’m applying for a business major.</p>

<p>I agree that AP’s are weak but I am hoping to impress with high scores on IB courses ( test results are not usually considered by american colleges)</p>

<p>In my essay , I focused on my redemption post-expulsion. I did not mention the expulsion event at all (in the disciplinary section though) and it was a narrative on the profound effect it had on me and how it spurred my ambition and drive. I’m certain that It’s truly " my voice" but it might be too “motivational speaker style” I imagine.</p>

7

<p>Hello :)</p>

<p>I am looking at very similar options to you- I applied to NYU Stern ED and got a big slap in the face with a rejection </p>

<p>I am also an IB student :frowning: </p>

<p>your stats don’t look too bad but the test scores could be a bit better- either way I would still apply to all the schools you mentioned because you never know. </p>

<p>I think being from Kazakhstan could really help you- I guess in the end with all these college applications- its how well you wrap yourself for the college admission offices to see. how well you fit into their criteria, whether they value more test scores or your participation in the community</p>

<p>Best of luck!</p>

<p>you can check my stats here
<a href=“Plan B- help! - #2 by viewthroughkohl0 - Chance Me / Match Me! - College Confidential Forums”>Plan B- help! - #2 by viewthroughkohl0 - Chance Me / Match Me! - College Confidential Forums;

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<p>Have you consulted with a guidance counselor about college options? Because (and please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m really trying to be helpful) many of the schools you listed not likely with a 29 ACT. That being said, I really do wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.</p>

<p>NYU, UMich, Notre Dame, Cornell, WUSTL: High Reach
Syracuse, GW: Low Reach
American: High Match
Don’t know enough about the other schools.</p>

<p>If I could offer some advice, look into Drexel, Dayton, St. John’s and Duquesne. These 4 schools have somewhat selective admissions that you would most likely get into and yet still have a pretty good national reputation.</p>

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<p>Word of advice, don’t take both math1 and math2 for sat2. It is a waste of time, most colleges would only consider that as sending one test. Math2 supersedes Math1, since it is a higher level. Just take Math2 and choose another Sat2 to take. </p>

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<p>I am just wondering if the BB gun issue may be more of a hindrance than you have guessed. (Does it show up on your transcript?) If an applications committee is weighing two individuals who have similar stats, logic dictates that they might prefer the one who has not brought a gun to campus. </p>

<p>Have a serious talk with your guidance counselor about it, and add some more safeties because you have a special situation. I agree with @Smithg1227 that you should try Duquesne in Pittsburgh. (Points for being up front about it in your posting.)</p>

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<p>Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think an essay about how your expulsion motivated you is one that would make your app particularly compelling. But hey, what do I know. I haven’t even got any of my decisions back… >:D< </p>

12

<p>Thank you guys for your thoughts!</p>

<p>I’ve updated my list to the following: ED II to NYU (reach), Babson, Bentley, BU, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, GW, WUSTL (reach). </p>

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<p>getting expelled and a BB gun is a bad thing to write about.</p>

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<p>I would not write about expulsion either. </p>

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<p>Hello @bomerr‌, @TranquilMind‌, @GodMode‌, @MidwestDad3‌.Thanks for your thought!! Without a doubt I see where your concerns about my essay come from, and I’m starting to doubt my essay’s effectiveness too. However, If anyone of you has time to give it a quick read that would perhaps change your opinion, please do (thanks so much!):</p>

<p>Common App essay:</p>

<p>“What? NO! ” I screamed in disbelief, “ Not happening…not again! Wake up NOW!” However, our disciplinary dean gave exactly two days to pack up and vacate the dorm room. I got expelled from New Hampton School. </p>

<pre><code>With a sudden jolt, I found myself out of bed in horror and short of breath only to realize that my sweaty hands grasped my familiar mattress - it was just the same nightmare.

The recurring nightmare replicated the turnaround event of mid-December 2012 only that then I was given an hour to disappear. Departing, I sensed: in teachers’ eyes – silent disappointment; in students’ whispers – sudden disapproval; in Mom’s reaction – clear infuriation ; and my answer? Shameful silence. My thoughts? The path of least resistance to becoming nothing but a waste of oxygen. Yet, my Dad, over Skype, chuckled with his wonderful laid back attitude as he found out about my incident and explained that stuff happens (we all know he did not say stuff) and this is a great example of “stuff” out of which I and only I must find a way out. So I did.

Shivering from the freezing New Hampshire weather and manically coughing with bronchitis, I arrived to a beautiful snowy New Hampton School campus four days after being thrown out. Overwhelmed, stressed and pessimistic I could not possibly imagine that this place would soon become ideal for my redemption. Of course, the admissions office was reluctant to easily accepting an expelled student, yet the desire for change that I professed proved to be convincing. My mother’s tears, my relatives’ exasperation, my family’s and my own self-doubt spurred an unstoppable motivation. A motivation to prove to myself and to everyone else that I am willing and able to put whatever effort it takes to challenge, to fight, to grow and achieve undoubted greatness in any endeavor. Precisely this determination allowed me to begin a new journey as a Husky on the 7th of January 2013.
</code></pre>

<p>Repeating junior year for the third time, although an idiotic idea to my Dad, was part of my plan - if I was truly to achieve my goals, sacrifices had to be made. The next two years at New Hampton, with my dedication repeatedly tested, were a far cry from a cruise through.</p>

<pre><code>Right from the beginning, I charged the academic office demanding the hardest possible course load with 5 higher-level courses, which, Ms.Berry said, was impossible. Unsurprisingly, the experienced Director of Studies prevailed, restraining the out-of-nowhere Napoleon of academia, and we compromised at 6 IB courses. On the extra-curricular front, I immediately engaged into leadership by being selected a proctor, an international leader, lead tour guide and running for a position on the student council. A final symbol of redemption , I dreamt, was becoming the President; yet instead persistence, with 5 overwhelming speeches, 5 disappointments, and 5 lost elections defined a true test of my commitment. 

Sometimes overwhelming is the mischievous temptation to skim through the reading and pretend to understand, to BS through that essay, to socialize with friends during the mirage of free time, to keep sleeping on cold mornings during the myth of 8 necessary hours, to ignore ravaging freshmen breaking rules , to let a new student wander alone, to stop sprinting upfield as the soccer ball is cleared, to lose focus on the spinning ball on a deep forehand shot, to give in to fear despite imagining a perfect 360 off the trampoline - to give up, take it easy and be another careless student slouching through high school. Such temptations inevitably visit me and always my morning ringtone comes to mind. In it Eric Thomas asks “Why? Why do you do what you do? What’s your drive? What’s your motivation? What keeps you going?” and I hit the off button – 5:15 AM.
</code></pre>

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<p>Bad essay.</p>

<p>Common Sense 101:</p>

<p>Every negative stance digs you into a hole.
With such a short essay that CANNOT possibly encompass all aspects of your life, you cannot afford to set yourself back with negative points.
Every negative sentence is one that could have been a possible point for admissions.
In short you want to put your best foot forward in the essay. </p>

<p>1st paragraph = impression is a student who got expelled
2nd paragraph = negative
3rd paragraph = dad doesn’t care
4th paragraph = mom is crying
5th paragraph = not only did you get expelled, but you had to repeat junior year, WTF?
6th paragraph = finally the first positive paragraph
7th paragraph = complicated and difficult to read. </p>

<p>So basically you have 1 okay paragraph in an essay of 640 words. </p>

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<p>I agree with @bomerr‌. Now that I’ve seen your essay, it’s pretty clear that it was this that got you rejected from all the schools you thought your stats would get you into. There doesn’t seem to be a clear story or direction - or even a point you’re trying to make. The opening line seems rather immature and childish for any institution of higher education; particularly schools like Columbia. There are also some lapses in grammar.</p>

<p>Basically, you’ve just written anything that’s come to your mind. Your priority should be to fix this essay by either rewriting it or coming up with a new one entirely (which would perhaps be the better option). Read some samples online if you want a better idea of what it should look like. </p>

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<p>Just a questiona about the subject tests, i thought universities only accepted Math 1 OR Math 2, but not both. Can you send both ?</p>

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<p>@meriks‌ you’re correct, they wont accept both. I mentioned that earlier, but OP seems to not have noticed </p>

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<p>@guineagirl96 Oh right, i didn’t see your comment. Thanks, that’s what i thought. I hope OP notices.</p>