<p>My D got accepted to a school that she really wants to attend. I made an appeal to the FA office since our family circumstances changed a lot since she applied (lost my job, separated)and yesterday we got a letter from them with a revised FA with a small reduction (about $1.5K additional grant - note that I asked them for addtl $5K). Also yesterday, she got a more generous package from CM... about $5K more in grant! However, my D really has her heart set in this other school. Should I go back to her dream school and appeal for a 2nd time and show them the offer from this other prestigious college? What would be the best way of approach them so I don't spoil this oppty? (And the truth is that her father thinks she should go where we pay less...since most likely he will be the one paying if I don't get a job for a while) Any thoughts?</p>
<p>Is this Barnard vs CM?</p>
<p>I don’t know if it’s considered ok to ask for a second appeal - even tho you now have more money from CM.</p>
<p>Is your soon-to-be ex committed to helping pay for your D’s college for all years? I hope there will be some kind of clearly stated stipulation in your divorce decree. If you’ve read some of the other threads, having ambiguous stipulations or not having one at all can lead to some disasters.</p>
<p>yes, Barnard vs CM.
stipulations are clear and yes, he will help during all years- but we do need FA either way. I don’t know if it’s ok to go a second time showing them the other offer. I don’t see anything talking about matching other offers in their website - my D absolutely loves this school. But a further reduction will make this decision easier.</p>
<p>Well, if you appeal again, the worst they can say is “sorry, but that’s the best offer we’re prepared to make” and then you would just have to make your own decision. You can certainly show them the other offer, but do so with the understanding that they don’t have to match it. You are well within your rights to say “this is my daughter’s number one choice by far, it’s what she wants, it’s what I want for her, but I’m worried that with all the changes that I have documented here for you, it won’t be possible for us to afford it. We recieved X amount from CM, which makes it affordable for us, but we would really like to send our daughter to Barnard.” </p>
<p>Again, the worst they can say is that they can’t help you. They won’t rescind her admission because you tried two appeals for financial aid.</p>
<p>^^^^^^The above is very good advice. It can’t hurt to try.</p>
<p>I agree with Smithie in #4. I think that that is how you should approach it.</p>
<p>Thank you parents! I will try and let you know what happens. Thanks again!</p>
<p>Wow. Be careful. At this point in the process, admins are frazzled – I know I’ve seen some material that indicates that it can be a very sore point for an admin to feel he/she is in the used car business. Are you doing this face to face? (where you can gauge the temperature/ attitude of the admin?). </p>
<p>I could see asking again – but I’d be wary of the comparision shopping. What about “D really, really wants to attend. What else can we do to close this gap? Our situation has changed and here’s the details”</p>
<p>I know if I were an admin, I’d say that "we came up with 1.5K " and then I’d ask some questions about your D doing work/study (which should be worth about 2K). I’d want to know why you couldn’t find the extra 1.5 K (used books? Smaller meal plan? Registering for a triple room instead of a double? Giving up a car freshman year? Fewer trips home?). If it sounded like your team was unwilling to really try, then I’d be . . . tepid to the second request. </p>
<p>Try – but, wow, steer away from making it sound like a bazaar negotiation.</p>
<p>“admins are frazzled -”
Admins are NOT the ones making FA decisions. Admins have completed their job and any FA $$ decisions are now made by those in the FA office.</p>
<p>In your original appeal did you mention other FA offers? I think you have nothing to lose by mentioning the new FA offer from CM, but DO say that Barnard is your D’s FIRST choice and she WILL matriculate there if they will match CM’s offer, and see what happens.</p>
<p>In my first appeal I only mentioned the changes in my family circumstances. I did tell them that I needed more $$Grant (no more loans) and I gave them the amount I need. They answered with a small step towards my goal. I haven’t mentioned yet the offer from CM… but I will try (I’m just not sure how sympathetic they could be if I mention other offers!)
Thank you all for your opinions!</p>
<p>^It will depend a lot on their internal calculus, things like how much they have in the budget for a grant, how they calculate your need (they’ll need to be more or less fair and not give you too much more than they’re giving others with similar need) how much weight they put on your D’s acceptance (not that if they don’t give you money they don’t really want her necessarily, but this is a factor that they’ll weigh) and a thousand other things. THe frustrating part is that you can’t know it in advance, but you lose nothing by taking the chance.</p>
<p>OK, let me rephrase that: FA Admins are frazzled. They have worked through the packages for returning students and are now working packages for incoming freshmen. It is their job to speak with families and most are really good at it – so it is always worth a try – but I do know there is a threshold where irritation and exasperation sets in. </p>
<p>What we don’t know are the sticky details for this particular student or for this college for this year. Many, many things come into play. I (a parent, not a FA officer) suspect that the parent will be asked what the parent and student are doing to make First Choice School possible.</p>
<p>colleges usually are only interested in hearing about or matching offers from other “peer” colleges . Since this FA offer from CM IS new information, I would have no hesitation in letting the FA officers at B know about CM’'s offer, with the caveat again that you tell them of you and your D’s commitment to enroll at B if they match CM’s offers. Now is the time to put your cards on the table.
And regarding how “frazzled” FA officers are this time of year, they know in advance that this month they will have a lot of work to do. It comes with the territory. there is no reason to hesitate asking legitimate FA questions or making reasonable requests because of an unwarranted fear that you may catch someone in the FA office on a bad day. If you are treated rudely then take it up the chain of command…Colleges WANT to enroll the students they accept and most will try to do their best to help with aid $$, within their budgets of course.</p>
<p>Agree with Menloparkmom. I casually spoke with USC about other offers that S had received from SCU & UofAz & tho they said they would NOT match or bid, they did increase their merit offer to match and S happily enrolled.</p>
<p>You have nothing to lose as long as your D will enroll in CM if CM does increase their merit offer based on the B info. Good luck!</p>
<p>My friend’s daughter was admitted to Princeton and Yale last year. She really wanted to go to Princeton, but money was an issue and Yale offered her the better deal. On her own she contacted Princeton, let them know that was holding her back and they met Yale’s offer. She did enroll at Princeton.</p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
<p>Go for it!</p>
<p>You already appealed once and got an increase. The fact that another school gave you more money has zero bearing on what this school will do. Going back and playing off one school against another will just give you a reputation in the FA office as a demanding pain in the neck which could hurt you in the future when you need legitimate help. </p>
<p>Remember, you are establishing a relationship that you want to be positive and beneficial for the next four years. Don’t get off on the wrong foot by coming off as pushy and demanding before your daughter even starts in school there.</p>
<p>
Incredibly bad advice. First of all, don’t assume that just because the school can’t give you more money, you are being treated rudely. Taking it “up the chain of command” makes you rude to the FA officer who has his/her hands tied. </p>
<p>The school does not have an endless supply of FA resources. As much as they may want to provide a free ride to every student, they simply can’t. Furthermore, every school has different resources. Some schools are able to provide more in aid than others. Do not take the smaller FA package as an indication that the school does not understand your situation or is treating you rudely.</p>
<p>“Going back and playing off one school against another will just give you a reputation in the FA office as a demanding pain in the neck which could hurt you in the future when you need legitimate help.Remember, you are establishing a relationship that you want to be positive and beneficial for the next four years. Don’t get off on the wrong foot by coming off as pushy and demanding before your daughter even starts in school there.” </p>
<p>And your basis for this statement is what??? We were VERY successful in getting additional aid when the FA office director was shown a superior offer from a peer college. And over the years I have read NUMEROUS stories from other CC parents about their successful FA appeals. The trick is not to say “I want to negotiate”, because that WILL go over like a dead balloon! Like I said before, FA offices KNOW that some students and parents will appeal offers of aid during this month. They WILL compare offers from other colleges. And they will make a decison. Your aid may go up . It may not. But getting appeals of FA awards from parents goes with the territory during the month of April, and they will NOT hold it against you later if your D decides to matriculate at their college. Any conjecturing that they will “take it out on you” is just paranoid thinking.</p>
<p>And as for this:
“If you are treated rudely then take it up the chain of command.”
I meant if you were TREATED rudely by a FA officer, as in if a FA officer was SHORT or DISCOURETEOUS to you in conversation, NOT if your appeal were turned down by a FA officer. No director of FA wants to hear that his officers, receptionist or representatives were rude to parents.</p>
<p>As presented by you, it sounds like there is $3500 x 4 = $14000 difference between the school your child loves & the offer that works best for your family. As I see it, you have nothing to lose by asking, pleasantly what CM can do to “sweeten the pot,” so that your D can attend her dream school without derailing the family budget. It is a reasonable request that can be made, showing the offer by Bernard and many schools will consider it in that light. </p>
<p>If you make the request, at least you know you have done your all to get to the bottom line and can make your decision based on the best numbers you could get rather than continuing to agonize about “what ifs.” The sooner your ask, the more likely they will still have some discretionary money they can offer your child. I & others have had success by showing other solid offers from “comparable schools.” Good luck!</p>