Need critique on UC Essay #2

[letitenfoldyou]

<p>I really want to show this essay to preferably current UC students. But anyone will do. Thanks!</p>

[md4me]

<p>I'll critique it- pm me</p>

[skizzie]

<p>i'd be happy to. send it over. :)</p>

[movieburner125]

<p>I'll critique it....PM me</p>