<p>Hi, I am about to finish up my Penn supplement essay on communities. I NEED a current Penn student to read it over to make sure everything is right and to give me some feedback. ED acceptees can read it too, however. Just post here! It should be done soon. </p>
<p>Thanks a lot in advance.</p>
<p>Sure, you can PM. I got accepted ED!</p>
<p>okay, thanks.</p>
<p>it’s finished. I really need people VERY familiar with Penn to give it a read! I promise it is not boring (hopefully). if it means anything, another CCer already read it and said it was the best supplement essay they ever read. please help! asap! thanks so much! =]</p>
<p>I am a current sophomore. pm me if you want me to take a look</p>
<p>hey thanks for everyone who read it so far. any more takers? please?</p>
<p>thaaanks</p>
<p>^yo nyorker, you applying for wharton? sucks cornell didn’t work out for both of us.</p>
<p>PM it to me, Ill read it. Accepted wharton ED, my own essays were quite weird lol</p>
<p>i got deffered ED. I can still read it though. It’s not like I can change my application at this point.</p>
<p>com’on any more penn students out there? i promise you’ll enjoy it!</p>
<p>ED acceptees? ANYONE?! haha i want to send this app out already</p>
<p>hey I want to bump this up again! any more help?</p>
<p>hey - I’m a sophomore at Penn. Bio major, live in Harnwell, very involved on campus. PM it over and I’ll read it for you.</p>
<p>I’ll read it if you want, but I’m not a Penn student, just submitted my application two days ago.</p>
<p>I am in the same predicament and would like to have my essay critiqued.</p>
<p>There are innumerable worldly questions to be answered, and many other questions will emerge through time. For it is those few amongst us, who dare to question the facts that we are blandly taught, that are the creators of society. I approach life as if it is an immense question which I shall spend the entirety of my time on earth seeking to answer. Where will I go? What will I be? Or even the simple question of what I may eat today?<br>
In life I am forced to make grave decisions that may appear to be miniscule at the time they must be made. Benjamin Franklin once asked: “Query, Whether it is worth a Rational Man’s While to forego the Pleasure arising from the present Luxury of the Age in Eating and Drinking and artful Cookery, studying to gratify the Appetite for the Sake of enjoying a healthy Old Age, a Sound Mind and a Sound Body, which are the Advantages reasonably to be expected from a more simple and temperate Diet.” After reading this quote I questioned whether I should enjoy my overly sweetened muffin for breakfast, or choose to have an apple instead. The muffin would surely please my taste buds at the time of its consumption, but would the knowledge of its negative effects on my blood sugar (I am a type I diabetic) be enough to suppress the wanting of its sweetness? To my health’s dismay it was not.
The American Philosophical Society is one of the original social communities which draw my greatest attention. The beginning members of the American Philosophical Society began as members of a small group Franklin referred to as the Junto; this group consisted of virtuosi from different levels of society (this indicates Franklin’s knowledge of intelligence not coming merely from wealth or stature). What a grand feeling it must have been to be a member of this prestigious society, in which the sincere goal was to discover truth, something that is often deeply hidden in society.<br>
Penn’s Bioethics Society is one I wish to become a member of. It resembles that of the APS in its goals to inform others of ethical, social, medical, and legal issues. I enjoy politics and the sciences. By using the knowledge I will gain in the classes offered by UPenn in these areas I will contribute my well informed opposition to issues discussed in the Bioethics Society’s meetings. For no argument can be worthy of having if its positives and negatives are not of seemingly equal proportions
I once heard that every corner of Penn is a crossroads of ideas, and these are the type of roads I yearn to travel upon. Penn’s mission of creating knowledge and creating solutions for the public good echoes my life’s goal. I seek to inform all who will hear me of the truths of humanity. I especially desire to inform America’s African American youth of the truth (I began my journey to do so through tutoring and mentoring youth). I aspire to teach these youth that nothing is impossible, not even being accepted to the magnificent University of Pennsylvania.</p>
<p>Kiara - I’d go for less abstract and more personal. Also Penn or the University of Pennsylvania are fine but don’t refer to the university as UPenn.</p>
<p>Thankyou, do you think I should delete some of the information on the APS?</p>