Need feedback on UCSB Appeal Letter

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Santa Barbara
1

So I was rejected from UCSB. I have some other options but I would very much like to go to Santa Barbara.

Yes, I am perfectly aware of the slim chances and difficulties of getting in without even being on the waitlist. I’m not sure if it’s too long, or even if admissions officers will read the whole thing to the end. Also, I was accepted at UCSD and am not sure whether it would help to mention that in the letter.

With that said, here is my letter. Any feedback is much appreciated, so thank you in advance:

Dear UCSB Admissions Officers,
I respect and understand your decision to decline my Fall 2016 admission application. I can only try to understand the difficulty of having to potentially decide a young person’s future based on test scores and grade point averages. However, I would like to bring to light some information regarding my sophomore year performance. Just after the first semester I was accepted into a Santa Cruz sister cities program that sends student delegates to Shingu-shi, Japan. During my two weeks in Asia I learned a great deal about culture and international relations, but the extensive missed coursework caused my grades to suffer and I struggled to get caught up before the year came to a close. I admit that it was entirely my decision to go on the trip, but the negative consequences were far greater than I could have understood at the time. The drop in my GPA from that semester has lingered ever since and reflects a student with less potential and motivation than I truly have. Consequently, I must write this letter because UC Santa Barbara is the perfect college for me.
When writing my personal statements I had no inkling of what field to go into because I was interested in so many subjects. This lack of direction caused my statements to be almost directionless, but I have now discovered through speaking with my teachers about careers and college majors that economics is my true field of choice and I am fully prepared to work my hardest to become educated on a subject that I love. It is the perfect mix of mathematics, sociology, and psychology, and I am very interested in how societies function as well as how individuals think and act. Behavioral economics is particularly exciting, and UCSB’s experimental and behavioral economics laboratory is very intriguing. I enjoy critical thinking, making predictions about behavior, and analyzing data, as these things allow for the exploration of more facets of study than most other majors. I am sure that countless students express the beauty of the UCSB campus as reasons for wanting to attend, and of course I agree, but what makes UCSB so special is that it combines that amazing environment with top ranked environmental, experimental, and behavioral/cognitive economics programs, not to mention the rest of the academics at the school.
Though I slipped, I am still a very motivated and competent student, and I hope that my above average SAT scores and club activities can attest to that. I have worked hard to rectify my mistakes by taking the most rigorous but well rounded schedule possible and have performed very well on AP tests with fives in Language and Composition and U.S. History, as well as a three on Physics I in junior year alone. I take complete responsibility for my past flippancy but I am ready to work full-force for my education and will get all that I can out of it. I care greatly about learning as much as I can, and I know that no matter where I end up going at the postsecondary level I will pursue knowledge and societal involvement with as much vigor as I did all of my activities in high school. However, I also know that attending UCSB would magnify my efforts and push my strides to even greater distances than my other options, so before I accept my other options, I find it necessary to give my top school one last shot.
I am writing this letter because I would like to have the opportunity to get a quality education, but the more I think about it, the more I realize it is a letter to myself as much as it is to you. In conclusion, I thank you for taking the time read this letter in its entirety regardless of your ultimate decision, and although I will accept whatever that decision is ungrudgingly, I implore you to allow me to succeed and grow at UC Santa Barbara.

2

You can’t really appeal admissions decisions…maybe if there was some major information that didn’t get sent through no fault of your own or something like that…

3

@bopper The UCs do officially take appeal letters, but they are rarely accepted and require some sore of new information that shows the applicant to be stronger than was evident in the original application.

4

At first glance, I would suggest shortening it by ~ two paragraphs.

5

There are many students who do stints abroad in hs and for longer periods than you did and many were able to keep grades up. So that argument will likely not be convincing

6

@wisteria100 Yeah I’m sure that there are people like that. However, there will always be people who would have done better in my situation, and that trip is really the only reason for my grade drop other than my blatant laziness. Although it’s a weak point, I’ll have to use it anyway.

7

I don’t think they’d like to hear excuses. Maybe just talk about how passionate you are about going there. Kind of brag to them about their school. They get so many appeals. Try and make yours different.

Good luck! Hope it works out.

8

First of all, I recommend you just go to UCSD. It’s a great school, better than UCSB in most fields AFAIK, better weather. It’s true the social life isn’t as good and the beach access not quite as good (but still pretty darn good). Plus they evidently believe in you.

“I can only try to understand the difficulty of having to potentially decide a young person’s future based on test scores and grade point averages.”

Don’t say this. You control your own future. You can make a bright future for yourself even at a CSU.

“but the negative consequences were far greater than I could have understood at the time.”

Get rid of “could have.” Again, take responsibility.

“I have now discovered through speaking with my teachers about careers and college majors that economics is my true field of choice and I am fully prepared to work my hardest to become educated on a subject that I love”

Seems pretty silly. Even freshmen have no idea what they’re doing in most cases. You won’t know what your true interests are until you’re in college. This isn’t a knock against you, but they hear tons of stories about freshmen who think they know everything about what they want to do. The truth is most know nothing.

“It is the perfect mix of mathematics, sociology, and psychology”

This sounds pretty silly… do you believe math is about a few limits or derivatives showing up in econ or something?

“for my past flippancy”

Did you really say flippancy?

Overall, I agree the letter is way too long. You’re highly unlikely to get your decision reversed. Academia is a nasty game. The best way would probably be to get someone on the inside to vouch for you. Easier said than done of course. If it costs money to send an appeal (not sure if it does), don’t even bother. They’ll just pocket the fee and say no. Anyway, like I said, just go to UCSD and make the most of your opportunities. The trajectory of your life isn’t decided yet.

9

@mscs16 Thank you for the feedback. However I’ve already sent the letter with my letters of recommendation and transcripts and whatnot. I was getting a lot of conflicting feedback and just had to bite the bullet and send it after a couple edits.

I’m not sure what sounds silly about saying econ is math sociology and psych though…I know that it’s not just some basic calculus. I might have misunderstood what you were saying there.

Also what’s wrong with “flippancy”? It’s a perfectly legitimate word that suited my meaning fine.

10

I don’t feel flippancy is really an appropriate word to describe your actions in a formal letter, but what’s done is done.

My point is I studied math at the undergraduate and graduate level, and math has nothing to do with calculus. I’ve taken some upper level polisci (I assume econ is similar in its use of math). Some of the papers will use some very basic calculus. I would be shocked if any econ class used something like stable homotopy theory, or elliptic curves, or functional analysis, or any “real” math. Possibly some basic linear algebra or real analysis if you liked it enough to go to grad school, but grad school is a different story.

11

@JJammerz hey have you heard back from your appeal decision? I sent one off a while ago and am still waiting to hear back.

12

@GoodVibesCali No I haven’t heard back yet. Good luck on yours, hopefully we find out soon.

13

I got in off appeal!

14

@Indianese Awesome, congratulations! I’m still waiting. Hopefully they come out soon lol.

15

Thanks!what’s your major

16

@Indianese I’m not sure yet. I declared Language, Culture, and Society major on my application, but I think I’m going to change it to either economics or philosophy if I get in.

17

Have you heard back yet?

18

@AtypicalAsian Nope, page still says decision pending.

19

me too!

20

It’s still pending for me too haha