<p>My daughter attends American University. That might be a few notches on the selectivity scale below what your son is looking for. However, applicants who are in the range of admissions to most-selective schools are candidates for merit aid (lately, $20K) at American, which is nice, and there’s an honors dorm where freshmen in the honors program (and some upperclassmen) are grouped together. There are also a number of honors-sponsored programs and activities that bring them together. I understand that many upperclassmen move off-campus after sophomore, or even freshman, year, so at that point it might be harder to find the scrabble tournament on any given evening, but I’m hoping my daughter will have made her group of friends by then.</p>
<p>There certainly are parties and drinking at American, but because of her living situation (the architecture of the dorm, the dry campus, the concentration of kids on the “brainy/nerdy” end of things), she’s kept very busy and met lots of friends without much effort. Which is good, because going out and finding friends is not her long suit. </p>
<p>She also considered Brandeis, which seemed to offer a lot of different things besides parties.</p>
<p>I attended Harvard and had no problem finding things to do and people to do them with that didn’t involve crowded parties. I never set foot in a final club. I know things have changed quite a bit over the years, but it is hard for me to imagine that Harvard has changed so completely that it resembles an LAC in the middle of a cornfield with nothing to do but go to parties. I am surprised to hear Yale’s film societies are no more, but I suppose it makes sense. It used to be that if you wanted to see Casablanca, you had to find a showing of it somewhere…Nevertheless, I imagine there are still plenty of concerts, theatrical performances, etc., at Yale (as there are at Harvard) because every house/college sponsors these events and there are upwards of a dozen houses/colleges. It might also be that a school with a residential college system would be a good choice, because it does foster a smaller community, and when each college/house has its own dining hall (and everyone’s on full board), it seems like “sitting around drinking coffee” becomes a major social activity. (My favorite times were spent sitting around chatting with friends in my house dining hall.)</p>
<p>I really don’t know which of the most-selective schools offer a residential college system, or the decentralized, full-board dining program that I consider a signature feature of Harvard. But maybe those features contribute to the type of atmosphere you are looking for.</p>
<p>p.s. your PM inbox is full</p>