<p>Hey I need some advice on my younger sister. She is still in Jr. High, however I discovered that her grades are really low! My parents are not sure what to do since everything they've tried seems to fail. They never really had this problem with me, during Jr. High I was a 3.0 student, now I've got a 3.9 at the local CC... So I never really had too many big problems with school, however that has left them clueless on what to do at this point. Generally speaking, I'm the only one who can talk to my sister and have her listen, and I am somewhat worried at this point. This quarter (the Jr. High's out here are on a weird quarter system) she is going to fail 3 classes, get a D in one (History, my major, which I am always offering to help her with) a C, and an A in her student serive class. I know it's only the 8th grade, but I don't want to see her screw her future up before it has a chance to get off the ground. Any advice on what I can say to her, or maybe something I can offer my parents?</p>
<p>Allena, you are a good sister.</p>
<p>Has your sister always been a poor student? Have her grades dropped recently?</p>
<p>If they have dropped, that is often a sign of some emotional problem. Do you know the guidance counselor at her school? Would your sister consider a meeting with the GC?</p>
<p>Your sister might need professional help.</p>
<p>Encourage her parents to get her into counseling. Your sister may be reacting to a major problem that she has not told your parents about. I have heard of similar grade drops happening with students who have experineced problems ranging from rape to bullying to drug or alcohol problems.</p>
<p>Allen:</p>
<p>Did your sister use to have good grades and is suddenly doing poorly or has her performance been mediocre for a long time? Is she going through a bad patch (8th grade can be tough in terms of social/emotional development) Do you suspect that something has happened which she is not sharing with your family? It is not unusual for adolescents to be more willing to confide in a sibling than in parents, so it's good that you are available for her to confide in you. </p>
<p>Perhaps the problem is that your sister has poor study skills? My S tried to help a student who turned out not to know how to extract the relevant information from a passage on science. He read the passage and seemed to understand the words individually, but not to figure out the message that it was supposed to convey and that he was supposed to learn. So he memorized every last word, but of course, he could not answer specific questions based on that text. My S helped him with that particular passage but expressed skepticism to us about the student's ability to cope with other reading assignments any more effectively. It takes some experience to teach study skills to another student. Could your family afford to engage a tutor for a few sessions to help your sister cultivate these study skills?</p>
<p>Now that work is getting harder, if your sister has a learning disability it will be more pronounced...has she been tested? THere is no shame here, but she does need to be tested to rule the possiblity out. Does she read on her own? Can she sit and work? </p>
<p>As well, is she being bullied at all...the bullying can be subtle, but still harsh. This can really make it difficult to do well in school. Does she have tight friends? How does she spend her free time? Is she into sports, ecs, church.</p>
<p>Depression is very common among her age group, and is easily masked.</p>
<p>Another aspect is that if she is not as smart as you are in certain subjects and is compared, she may think "what is the point" not logical, but often happens.</p>
<p>It could be any of these things, a combination of a couple, or non at all, but testing needs to be done. Ruling out possibilities needs to be done. WHat have your parents done? This is their responsibility and they need to step up NOW and take charge.</p>
<p>Good luck</p>
<p>First quick note, I'm actully her brother... Most websites I post at allow me to have different cases in my screen name, CC does not... It really should be AllenA (first name + last inital), but since I've grown used to this screen name I can't bring myself to change it...</p>
<p>Actually my sister is overwhelming popular! She's evry possibly one of the most popular girls in the school. As far as issues, the only one I can think of is my family (I'm staying back since I hopefully will be going to UCLA) is getting ready to movie... We've lived in California our entire lives, however my Dad's job has recently moved so a move to New Mexico is in store during the summer.</p>
<p>Her grades have been on a stedy decline since the start of last year. Her GPA at the start of 7th grade was a 3.6 I believe, and since then has been coming down... We thought nothing of it last year since it only feel to a 2.8 at the end of the year so we just assumed it was harder work. Last semester her GPA was a 1.8, and will likely be lower now.</p>
<p>My parents have tried different things and they all seem to fail. They meet with all of her teachers and her GC during a conference about 2 months ago, and did a bunch of things that thye thought would help, but those all backfired. She maintains that all of her teachers hate her, and they've got it out for her. I had the same teachers in Jr. High (we've got a team system, so all 4 core subject teachers work together) and other then the math teacher my memories of them were actually of them all being farily decent teachers, I worry since I know in High School I've had much worse teachers.</p>
<p>I had the thought of alcohol, but I honestly don't think she's drinking. I worry since I know at her age I discovered alcohol and learned just how much fun (I don't drink much anymore) it was to drink... However I don't really think she's been drinking or doing drugs.</p>
<p>She has something now called the college project. I remember doing the same project, and the point is to try and get students interested in college... What is good is that this is the first school related project I've seen her excited about in a long time. She has watched me go through the college admisisons process these past two years, and does seem to be taking a real interest in this project. One of the parts is they have to pick a school and make up a plan of how they will get into the college... Since I've been focused on UCLA for the last 2 years, that is who she wants to learn about. My hope is when she sees some of the admissions requirments, she'll realize that she needs to make some serious academic changes.</p>
<p>Allen:
Maybe she is too popular for her own good! :)
Perhaps the move will be a new start for her. Remember that it's only high school grades that count. Of course, however, how she does in 8th grade will determine which classes she places into. The college project is a good idea. Maybe she can be persuaded to try a harder in the last quarter of the year? Tell her gently that her new school will rely on teachers' recs for placement, so she should make an effort. After that, she won't have to deal with teachers she does not like any more. But it's up to her to position herself so that she can make the most of high school.</p>
<p>I think she needs to see a counselor, not a school one, but a regular counselor. As I stated, depression is very common, and people can put on fake fronts, but the condition will show itself in some way. The thinking that the teachers all hate her and are out to get her is not trivial. Having a new start is good, but if it doesn't change things right away, the possiblity is that she will do worse. My D's friend, very popular, fun, charming girl, did fine in school,, but had insomnia, panic attacks, and ended up in the emergency room. Your sister is in a scary place right now, (I am not trying to be dramatic)...the move is depressing her, if she is so popular, she may be very afraid to leave that confort place and have to start over again. I strongly suggest outside counseling, just so she has someone different to talk to. Encourage it before the move. The grades are a symptom of something serious and it needs to be found now before the big move with all new people and all new situation.</p>
<p>ps- has she been tested yet? vision, hearing, learning disability, etc....this is really important!!!</p>
<p>She's has not been tested for any of that. She has some thyroid (spelling?) problems, which can lead to her having some temper problems, but nothing major. Thanks for all the help, I've got my parents interested in all your responses.</p>