<p>Situations like this occur frequently in our area with the Morehead scholarship (UNC) nominations. It also is fairly subjective in its nomination requirements. A few years back the D. of a friend of mine was passed over for a more popular, well-connected student. I was enraged for several reasons, one being my friend was dying with cancer and this girl had nursed her mother and took care of 3 younger siblings while maintaining one of the top gpa's, rank position, 4 yr athlete (though not a star like the boy) and had nearly perfect SATs. When I called my friend later to tell her how angry I still was, she replied that it had all worked out for the best--her D. received a full merit scholarship from Duke that actually was worth much more than the Morehead.</p>
<p>With your D's stats she should certainly be competitive for any number of scholarships at various schools--take a look, she may end up on top also!</p>
<p>Yep...I'm with the "get over it" crowd. DD was a top 10 (actually number 8) student...top 5% of her class and NEVER received any honors during her years in high school. We didn't attend one honors night during her years of high school...she was never invited, the only top ten student who was not given at least one honor...year after year. She noticed, we noticed. I did finally ask the principal (after the kiddo graduated) why this was the case. He seemed perplexed. It's just the way it is.</p>
<p>thumper1 - that's been my experience, too - these kinds of acknowledgements and affirmations that can mean so much to students and parents are often afterthoughts for those making the determinations. They do not put the time and thought into selecting students for recognition that we would wish they would. Accepting that you're not going to get validation from these sources is harder when monetary awards are part of the package, but the mom who understood that things generally work out in other ways is a role model for us all.</p>
<p>Hmmm, with the extra information added above, if the scholarship is awarded based on equally weighted categories, and if the #35 is still close to a top GPA, then why wouldn't he have a chance to qualify for finalist status? If you want to talk to administration about it, be sure to be very low key, and focus on ensuring the process allows the chosen person to have a chance toqualify for the award. It may be this athlete is planning to attend UVA and they have a reasonable certainty he would qualify and use the money whereas they are afraid higher ranked kids will be opting for ither schools.</p>
<p>It could not hurt to add clarity for all as to how the process works and to ensure all efforts are made to not allow the scholarship to be wasted, as it would be if #1-10 got it, but elected to attend Ivys, etc.</p>
<p>100% of last years scholars were in the top 5% of their classes, so being #35 seems to be pretty much off the mark for having a chance, average SAT was 1523, with 25 of the 30-25 getting an 800 on either math or reading for SAT</p>
<p>so, if you are nominating someone they should PROBABLY be in the ballpark of the stats "required"</p>
<p>wonder if people bothered to look deeper into some of the 'questionsable" nominations, and the "relationships" involved, it could be interesting</p>
<p>My son too. He's clearly a superior student who is also nice and has great ECs. The only award he's gotten was a 9th grade Social Studies award. Most of his friends are at every ceremony. My kid, I'm proud to say, is out of the mainstream in HS. He'll be recognized later on.</p>
<p>Before looking at this head again (had read it yesterday) just checked the TJS Web site--then came back to the thread adn foundt hat Sybbie and several other thoughtful posters had done the same thing and posted eloquently and sensibly abou the TJ Foundation's three-part goal, adding leadership adn citizenship to academics. I want to echo them. Your dusaapointment and your daughter's are very understandable; lack of recognition or pereceived lack of recognition can be painful. I hope you both feel btter about this soon.</p>
<p>Regarding the specifics of the TJS issue: It may well be that the successful nominees usually rank higher, but it is no small achievement to be in the top 20 percent of a decent-sized class and also have a demanding athletic or otehr EC schedule. A smart athlete can contribute a great deal ao a school, not necesarily by being varsity caliber but by virrtue of leadership skills, sheer ersonality, or making a great club or intramural program. I would not underestimate the classic bright well-rounded kid who can perhaps be one of those sometimes underappreciated links holding together a disparate community without being the absolute very best or very brightest in any one area. </p>
<p>Keep in mind too, from the point of view of maximizing your D's chances of succes in the rest of the school year and specifically the application and schoalrship application process, that one does not usually gain a better foothold by resenting other students' public success. She still needs her school's support to get the best recommendation she can, and the shadows of resentment ot bitterness could make their way, however subtly, into her essays or her teacher or counselor recs. On the broader level, of couse, it is also a good idea to see other people'e talents nad achievements for wht they are adn to recognize that numbers alone don't always tell the whole story--and that there may be nunbers you don't know about, as well. At this point, graciousness and positive thinking would seem to be in order. </p>
<p>Good luck with the application process; it sounds as though your D will have many great oportunities.</p>
<p>I wonder if the students financial situations were very different? </p>
<p>We found (a few years ago) that financial need was used in the consideration for some of the so-called prestigious "merit" awards. It is one of those things that was never acknowledged or advertised, but does appear to play a factor in some of these "merit" decisions. It didn't seem fair to us at the time, but unfortunately there was nothing we could do. If we complained, or even suggested such a thing, we were accused of "sour grapes"..........</p>
<p>I appreciate the many data points illustrating how outstanding students are often overlooked for scholarships and awards, which reinforce my own observations and experiences in this nutty college rat race. To the OP - sorry you're feeling such disappointment, when you had good reason to think your d could be the nominee - and congrats for all she has achieved and all she has to look forward to. The only help I know for dealing with this issue is adopting the attitude that recognitions that are dependent upon the evaluations of others are wonderful - but out of our hands to make happen. </p>
<p>I'd like to pick up on something sybbie said above - how is it possible to know that the nominee has nothing else to offer other than a pretty good GPA and being captain of the football team? I often hear such comments when a kid is singled out for some honor, and I always think about the number of activities kids may be involved in, or personal struggles kids may have, that aren't likely to be on the radar screens of other high school parents. These could include church work, outside volunteer service, caring for a sick or disabled family member, overcoming an illness or learning disability, involvement in a non-hs EC such as dance, figure skating, museum volunteering, etc. There are about 1600 kids at our hs, and I'd never presume to know what's up with any of them, other than whether they're on the honor roll each quarter or invited to the annual awards ceremony. And the anecdotes in this thread alone prove that the best students often aren't honored at such ceremonies - so that means I know bupkis.</p>
<p>The Jefferson is an amazing opportunity at UVA, a stellar institution. But there are other opportunities - the OP's d would almost certainly be accepted as an Echols Scholar, which offers many resources and chances for recognition. The $70K is no small consideration, expecially for the first of 5 kids, but UVA has recently made a big push to enhance its financial aid to students with need, so perhaps the OP's d will qualify. Even if not, a degree from UVA is unquestionably worth that $70K, and there's much the d can do to put a dent in that figure.</p>
<p>Hi-
This may not be popular, but tcollege & daughter need some tough love.
Please, if you go to the principal or guidance counselor re this, make your
approach be in seeking to find out what your d's weaknesses are seen to
be and what she can do to overcome them. It appears that both of you
believe her accomplishments means she deserves special honors. Maybe
it is exactly this deserving attitude that doesn't make her pop up in the
minds of nominators despite her talents. The fact that the winner of the
nomination was scared to let her know is sad. She is clearly seen by the
other kids as someone who will not rejoice with them in their successes
but most likely is thinking only of her own. Academic success and success
as a person goes back to the kindergarten basic of "playing well with the
other children." Perhaps what the football player has over her is that he
has learned to handle both wins and losses gracefully and generously; one
of the most important lessons, along with teamwork and unselfishness, that athletics teaches. Don't put down the athletes, folks. There are some huge life lessons being taught on those fields or play.
Do some soul-searching, mom and daughter, and see
if both of your ungracious and denigrating attitude toward what you see as
"lesser students" is not the heart of the problem here.
It may change both your lives.
Best of Luck!</p>
<p>You just can't make yourself crazy about awards. My son surprised us by getting a senior math award as a sophomore,(no monetary value unfortuntely!), but since then has only been recognized for qualifying for the AIME. I don't have a problem with it - he's one of the top students academically, but he isn't that involved in school life. Still it is interesting that just about every single award our school offers is for excellence in "insert name of academic endeavor" AND contributing to the school. For the school this means they don't have to give every award to the valedictorian - a good thing - I imagine, but it also means there's enough subjectivity in the process it's bound to seem unfair to someone.</p>
<p>learn how >> to handle both wins and losses gracefully and generously<<</p>
<p>This is a life skill that comes in very handy--we all have some of both wins and losses...I think this is a great piece of advice and should help anyone who has suffered a disappointment to move on.</p>
<p>This may sound way too simple - but what is done is done - they are not going to change the nomination. Fair or not (and there are always many sides to that question) it is time to move on. I am sure that there are other awards or nominations that are forthcoming. By going in and being confrontational you will reduce her chances at those. I think going in and talking with the powers that be, in a calm and reasonable manner, makes sense. Get an idea of how they see your daughter and where they believe she stands. Express concern but don't be bitter or judgemental.</p>
<p>Looking at Cur's post reminds me of our situation a while ago. D believed that she should have received the Byrd nomination & Wendys All American nominations - but someone else did. What's funny is that the kid that received the Wendys nomination was not even close in stats, droped sports after HS while mine still plays in college. Moved on ended up with Emory Scholars and Danforth nominations. Now very happy at a top 10 school where she costs us less than having her at home. I always felt that when one door closes another one opens. Now its time for OP to show the way to her daughter. Always best to lead by example. Good luck I am sure it will all work out for the best</p>
<p>I think next fall when I don't have a senior I'll e-mail the pincipal or acacdemic dean and suggest that the process be a little more open. At least let kids know what the committee looks at so that people can share their strengths in all areas. That way at least everyone knows what the standards are. As I said originally, it was the fact that so much money is attached that I think dictates that the selection process be undertaken thoughtfully -- that way no matter who is nominated (may very well have turned the same) everyone has a sense that the process has been fair -- since so much else of the college process is random.</p>
<p>My D's record and personal circumstances are such that she already knows that she must do well to please herself not because of any recognition, monetary or otherwise, that might lurk out there. </p>
<p>Also, she is in an enviable position because her ultimate "safety" -- Texas A&M -- is a school she would obsolutely love to attend and is guaranteed acceptance and a likely scholarship at. Because of that I do feel that she has approached the process with an appropriate degreen of realism.</p>
<p>Great attitude and good plan. I think that everyone benefits when everyone knows the parameters. It may not help your daughter but it will benefit future students. I would almost recomend a face to face meeting, since e-mails are too easy to ignore.</p>
<p>I believe many top students are self motivated. They accomplish what they do for their own satisfaction and not outside rewards. Although I understand why they might be dissapointed when they are ignored. Have gone that a few times in our family and it is not easy to explain to kids.</p>
<p>Your D sounds like the type of person that will be happy with any school that is lucky enough to get her. Sounds like she has a wonderful safety. You never know beyond that - sometimes your reach schools can surprise you with merit awards and other assistance. I say that from personal experience, we were very pleasantly surprised in many cases. Good luck and I am sure you will be pleased with the outcome of the college process. When both parents and students begin with a realistic outlook - only positive results can be expected.</p>
<p>At our high school all the top honors that involve any degree of subejctivity almost always go to a "story kid." Just being a wonderful, highly-accomplished kid with top grades and test scores is not enough. You also gotta have a story.</p>
<p>I guess many of us have attended hs awards ceremonies and have been amazed at the seeming randomness or worse, favoritism in the selection of awardees. In retrospect it is a good lesson for our students that life is not necessarily fair or just all the time. However things eventually even out. To the OP, your talented daughter will almost certainly do quite well down the road whether at UVa or some other college willing to shower her with it own scholarship offers.</p>
<p>Life may not be fair all the time and yes it does tend to more than even out. I have found that those that work hard will be rewarded. It may not always be immediate or even in the anticipated way - but there will be a reward at some time. Sounds like OP and daughter have their act together. It is now more about making the process open to everyone than changing what happened.</p>