<p>I know that a lot of these kids “can do it” but what price do they pay?</p>
<p>Parents complain about the quality of our iown local, small school system, but posts like the ones on this thread make me so glad my kids went to a school that had an atmosphere that was not so high pressure. My kids took an AP class in junior year, and 4 in senior year. They quickly figured out that sports were not going to work, unless they wanted to be one-dimensional (which is fine, if that is what you love). Once the sports were gone, there was room for drama, music and community volunteering.</p>
<p>I was #1 in my private high school and “did it” too. Noone would have predicted how bitter I feel about those lost years. I disagree that homework and grades are the top priority. The top priority is whatever helps kids learn who they are. A little free time can go a long way towards that goal. including time to doodle, stare at the wall, and even read a book that is not assigned.</p>
<p>Much has been written on this topic (see "The Price of Privilege by Levine, not a brilliant book but one that is actually sitting on my table). Someone posted a movie trailer for “Race to Nowhere” this week, on this forum, which looked pretty good.</p>
<p>I don’t think time management is the solution here. I think she needs more time. All those AP’s and Pre-AP’s are a huge load even without the running!</p>
<p>"I was #1 in my private high school and “did it” too. Noone would have predicted how bitter I feel about those lost years. I disagree that homework and grades are the top priority. "</p>
<p>-Exactly my D., except that she has never been bitter and never felt that she has paid any price. She just enjoyed herself at every single activity and made lots of friends. She likes to ponder what made her so adjustable and outgoing and always go back to the fact that she was engaged and very committed to both, her academics and EC’s, having her GPA as priority #1. The same happened in college (she is college senior). In fact, she has never had a single “B” in her life so far. Still piling up EC’s and enjoying every single one of them and her Minor too, talks about all with great excitement and very excited about her academic classes. Senior year in college is more relaxing in her case. Most reguirements have been taken care of, MCAT is done, Med. School applications completed, invites to interviews recieved. All of it is a result of great time mangement in relaxing atmosphere of ever changing activities of her own choice. She was in 5 of them concurently at age 7 and I did not dare to push her to drop any, just keep checking if she is ready to do so. Driving to all of this after full time job was a challenge, but we did it and she has been very greatful for it all. Another thing she ponder about, why she does not care about wathcing TV at all. Again, going back, she never had time to watch it, did she miss anything? Nothing - by her and my account, I do not like watching TV myself, boring.</p>
<p>Ditto every word Compmom said. It’s all about balance, and if Freshmen already need to cut back on ECs, in favor of more homework and APs, there is something seriously out of whack.</p>
<p>Freshman year is a year of adjustment. Some schools, and some teachers, give more homework than others. Some ECs are going to require extra time, etc. You have to continually make adjustments to find a good balance. It also depends on the kid. Some kids apparently thrive on being busy. Others need a more leisurely pace. Don’t be afraid to make adjustments midseason. My kids have had to drop ECs mid semester and everyone was very understanding. Plus, school requires passing grades in every core subject to participate in EC - so that gives incentives.</p>
<p>"I would limit her ECs to one and ONLY let her add another if she can demonstrate that she can get all homework done, get good grades, and not have to stay up too late. "</p>
<p>I have to say with my just-entered-college-son that I think the ECs shaped him more than all the APs. He could have made better grades without all the sports, but not sure he’d be the same amazing person had he done that!</p>
<p>Sometimes, you have to consider what “defines” this kid or gives them meaning. For some kids it is their sport, for my kids it was/is theatre. I would never take that away from them, as long as they are passing their classes. Without ECs, some kids have no incentive to stay in school or succeed. For my kids, getting into a selective college is very far down the list of what defines success. They would much rather take the state title in one-act competition, make All-State choir, or qualify for nationals for musical theatre at the state Thespian convention.</p>
<p>My son did CC, runners club, then track all 4 years- and no gym exemptions (although his freshman gym teacher, the CC coach, exempted him from the mile run he missed). Son was in orchestra- did well without much at home practice. Also did academic teams. Got out of some events when there was overlap. School began at 7:30 am followed by CC or other activities until around 5 pm every day every year. First study hall was second semester senior year when he ran out of classes he wanted to take. Nothing wrong with freshman AP’s- your school seems set for them. Likewise never heard of preAP classes. Firm believer in running (not runner like H and S, however)- that will be good physical activity long past HS and a stress reliever as well.</p>
<p>As the parent of a probable young teen you still need to set limits and give guidance. You may want rules about after hours activities time commitments. Also explain to her that quality, not quantity counts. School work comes first. She should also understand that one sport, one music and one other activity- academic related is the limit perhaps. She sounds interested in many things- she needs to hear that choices need to be made. None of us can do everything. Do not let her give up any academics to be in activities. Also- for college apps her academics count while being in activites won’t carry much weight this year.</p>
<p>We are currently trying to decide in what way we are going to limit our 10th grade son’s activities. He is in Honors/AP classes, does cross country 2 hrs./day, 5 days a week plus club soccer 2 hrs., 3 times a week. On the soccer days, her gets home at 7:30. Last night he had a XC meet and got home at 9. On the weekends he usually has 1-2 soccer games and for the next 2 weeks also has XC meets including one 6 hours away. He has a 4.0 but has been up until 1:00 3X this week. He is also part of a community service club and does activities in his “free” time. He excels at sports, however we are firm believers that academics is the priority. We have talked about pulling him out of either XC or soccer, and you wouldn’t believe the comments we have received about “taking away his chances for a scholarship”. We feel the odds for athletic scholarships are so slim no matter how good one is, that we would never have him participate in a sport only for the scholarship opportunity. We have told him that no matter how good he is, the schools that he likes will not look at him if the grades aren’t there. My issue is that this is a kid who seems to thrive on pressure and challenges. He goes crazy if he has down time and always has. While our other kids have done well, they were much more laid back and not so driven. We do not pressure him at all; we have always told our kids that they will only be in high school for 4 short years and then will have to be “adults” the rest of their lives-enjoy high school while there and have fun. To this child, the pressure is fun- he loves it. I am concerned that he will just burn out some day. He sets lofty goals for himself and then does what it takes to achieve them. I think our society puts way too much pressure on kids anymore to achieve, achieve, achieve. He worries so much about getting into a good college(Duke, Stanford, U Penn, UCLA, Harvard, etc- his list, not mine) that it is not healthy. My H and I are planning on sitting down with him this weekend to talk about slowing down (after we pick him up at 11 PM Sat. from a XC meet 2 hours away so he can play a 9AM Sun. soccer game- ridiculous!!!) Obviously we are enablers! Have to do something about this…</p>
<p>Yes, agree. My limit for my D. was to be in bed around 10pm. Lots of homework can be done over the weekend. They know most big assignments way ahead of the time. I also agree, that their EC’s giving them identity and taking away these activities might have very negative consequences. As long as they are having a ball with everything, they will be fine. Kids are resilient. But if they have to push themselves and stay up late, then it is time to discuss and reconsider and maybe give up something. If they do not get enough sleep, nothing will work. They will not perform at school, sport, on stage, at their musical instrument, writing newspaper article, doing interhships…etc.</p>
<p>Regardless of whether or not you limit your daughter’s ECs, you could certainly involve yourself in teaching her time management and more efficient study skills–especially since these seem to be things she is struggling with. My daughter was home schooled, so teaching these skills fell entirely to me, and they received alot of attention during the middle school years.</p>
<p>You could easily develop a mini-course for her. Many colleges and some high schools have thorough time management and study skills handbooks. (Sweet Briar College comes instantly to mind, but an internet search would be likely to turn up others.) Does she use a planner effectively? Are track meets or club meetings noted for the semester or year? Does she know when chapter tests, mid-terms, and finals are likely to occur? Does she work better late at night or early in the morning? Does she have different strategies for studying different subjects? (Note cards for vocabulary and grammar rules if she’s taking a foreign language, filed by chapter, so they’re ready when it’s time to study for a test? Note cards also for math and science formulas, again filed by chapter for easy access before a test? Math homework in a binder with missed problems and their corrections prominently highlighted? Time lines for history? Underlining or highlighting in text books? There are many, many ways to make studying more efficient.)</p>
<p>My daughter was a great student and did well in all her subjects, despite training as many as 30 hours/week in her sport. She became a master at taking advantage of short periods of time for study, as well as scheduling longer periods for more sustained work. The planning and discipline have paid off in so many ways, and will continue to serve her well in college and graduate school (if she goes), as well as in whatever she chooses to do for work. Helping your daughter now to develop these skills would be likely to have an immediate benefit. I also think you would be likely to be bestowing a long term, even a lifetime gift.</p>
<p>This isn’t a Time Managment question – the time is simply not there to do everything.</p>
<p>I think ECs are very important to develop one as a person. Helps to focus not just the leadership, but shape what you want to do with your life.</p>
<p>Her academic schedule sounds too demanding for a 9th grader. </p>
<p>I would drop a course for study hall or at least drop out of an AP. She is only in 9th grade. Even the best of the best colleges don’t expect 2 APs as a 9th grader. Better to have her begin high school on a solid foundation and build up to the APs.</p>
<p>My daughter’s 45 in Psychology is caused by her not turn in homework (she was supposed to turn it in on Monday. She got it done. Forgot to give to the teacher on Monday. So she got a 0). Her 32 in English is caused by 2 zeros (she skipped class last Friday after cc meet to finish assignment. Ended up with 2 zeros: One for her skipped the class so she did not take the test. The other 0 for not turn in her assignment on time. She skipped the class to finish it and turned it in by 3:00 pm. The teacher refused to accept it and give her a 0. It’s not because of her lack of trying. She stayed up at least till 11:58 pm the night before. Our printer jamed. She couldn’t print the vocab. out. I printed it out for her the next morning. She had to glue them to the poster. It was not finished. She tried to skip class to get it done, but it ended up backfired on her.</p>
<p>For her other classes, so far she got 92 in Algebra II, pre-AP, 88 in AP Human Geograph, 98 in pre-AP Biology. </p>
<p>She insists that she needs sports to get in a good college. She pushes herself too hard and I think she took good grades as granted.</p>
<p>The poor thing was so exhausted last week. She couldn’t keep her eyes open past 9:30 pm and still kept saying “I am not tired”. One second later, she was out.</p>
<p>There may not be enough time for everything, but she seems to think–or hope–there is. If she were to map everything out for the next month or so, she might be able to see for herself what she needs to go.</p>
<p>Not much of a help to your daughter, but as a Mom I was glad last year when my 9th grader “hit the wall.” He is too strong willed to take advice & must learn the hard way. OPs daughter sounds the same</p>
<p>She needs to realize she is only 1 person & can’t do it all.</p>
<p>I think the sport is very important. Not to get into college, but to learn balance and a break from the books.</p>
<p>And remember, some colleges recalc HS GPA without 9th grade. Others look for the upward trend. </p>
<p>Just be supportive. If she wants to keep the sport and back off an academic subject or limit other ECs for the sport, try to be accepting.</p>