Need help with Bates supplement essay!!Thanks~~

College Essays
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<p>Since 1855, Bates College has been dedicated to the emancipating potential of the liberal arts. Bates educates the whole person through creative and rigorous scholarship in a collaborative residential community. With ardor and devotion - Amore ac Studio - we engage the transformative power of our differences, cultivating intellectual discovery and informed civic action. Preparing leaders sustained by a love of learning and a commitment to responsible stewardship of the wider world, Bates is a college for coming times.</p>

<p>In addition to the Common Application essay, please select one phrase from the Bates mission statement below and comment on how it inspires you and draws you to Bates.</p>

<p>I choose a commitment to responsible stewardship of the wider world. And I want to write about my passion for journalism(the power of media is unbelievable!!) and how Bates could help me realize my dream from the perspect of:
1). I've taken its campus tour this summer. I love the environment and the feeling wondering in the school. Maine is my favorite state. I love small school, quiet and beautiful environment and friendly friends. The school's environment and spirit fit me.
2). Its top-notch Political Science program. I listed several classes I want to take.
3). Its featured short-term. I talk about my plan for short terms--which country I want to go to study, what course i want, what kind of internship.
I made a commitment to my journalism career at the age of 15. I believe Bates can offer me the power i need.</p>

<p>I am not really clear with the meaning of "a commitment to responsible stewardship of the wider world".
Is it OK? I am too afraid that I write it only a 'why essay' instead of answering its question.</p>

<p>If you'd love to, I will PM you the essay and ask for specific advice.</p>

<p>Thank you guys so much!</p>

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<p>A few comments:</p>

<p>I think your interest in journalism makes a great connection to the phrase you’ve chosen. Be aware that Bates doesn’t have a journalism major so positioning yourself as a potential poli sci or English major makes sense.</p>

<p>If I remember correctly (DS applied ED1) this is meant to be a short essay of 1-2 paragraphs so you’ll have to tightly focus the essay. For instance I’d leave out the part about loving Maine and your specific plans for short term. Focus on journalism, your involvement in it and how you see it as a way of transforming or caring for the wider world.</p>

<p>Remember that this essay is an opportunity for you to show Bates why they should want you. Lots of kids like small schools with friendly environments and strong academics. What will you offer that’s different?</p>

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<p>Thank you so much! Very useful advice!
Can I send my essay to you and ask you to help look at it?</p>

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<p>Anyone willing to look at my essay?</p>

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<p>Yes, you’re welcome to send it to me and i’ll try to take a look at it, but I can’t guarantee I can get back to you in a timely fashion. I’m halfway around the world from home right now!</p>

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<p>-a commitment to responsible stewardship of the wider world. </p>

<p>Not sure your love of Bates, Maine, their poli sci and short term answers the question- ie, how it relates to stewardship or connects you to their mission.</p>

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<p>would anyone like to ready my bates essay for me too?</p>

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<p>I’ll read them - please include prompt</p>