<p>^^Then it’s even more urgent to let me do as much on his own! </p>
<p>BTW, is he at risk for flunking out?</p>
<p>I thought everyone was pretty familiar with my story of woe, but here’s recap:</p>
<p>Went away last year - hands off, no “coddling” - first semester bad; second semester even worse. (Even got the “come and get him” phone call from the dean of students.) That is how he managed to do without accommodations, a coach or a psychologist. Took two summer school classes at the cc - passed one, failed the other, so now he’s on academic probation at the cc. There are no more chances to “let him fail.” We’ve done that. If he’s going to get a college degree, he needs a whole team to help him. If you think kids who need a lot of assistance in college don’t deserve a degree, you’re entitled to your opinion.</p>
<p>Forgive me. I totally can’t figure out how to get the quote in that neat little box!</p>
<p>" But I thought that the disabilities office could provide “access” to the tutoring center. If the means of getting a tutor is difficult or hard to navigate, it would make sense for the disablities office to help with that process. "</p>
<p>They only step in if his disability makes gaining access to the service an obstacle to his learning. If the process, for example, requires a faculty referral, and his disability isn’t noticable, the disabilities office could list “must give referral to tutoring” as an accommodation from his faculty. If the tutoring service is a walk-in, first come, first-served kind of thing or a walk in and sign up for an appointment, he has the same access as everyone else on campus and then, no, they will not be able to do much beyond tell your son that he gets in there early.</p>
<p>I wonder if your son is in the right program. Aspie’s have very specific areas of high interest. Is he in a program of great interest or being forced to take a lot of core courses of no interest? I say this because if your son is in an area of high interest, he might be more motivated to do all the things necessary to do well in his program. You want to set him up for success–I know you are trying really hard, but I wonder if your state has the right program.</p>
<p>Perhaps test him for areas of high interest and then try to match him with the right program.
If your state doesn’t have the program maybe you can get your state to pay for OOS tuition.</p>
<p>Matching high interest program for Aspie kids is key to their success.</p>
<p>mdcissp, I think we’ve had this conversation before. I guess there are a few colleges that allow students to take only the courses they want to take (e.g. Grinnel, I’ve been told) but the rest have core requirements. If a school requires two lab sciences to graduate, the student has to pass two lab science classes, whether he likes lab science or is good at lab science. If a school requires four semesters of a foreign language to graduate, the student has to pass four semesters of a foreign language. I well aware of my son’s areas of interest…there is one area in which he tests in the 99.9 percentile. If all of his courses could be in that area, few worries. But he has to pass the core classes, or no degree.</p>
<p>I forgot all the details about last year, so forgive me. My son also had a really, really really bad first year. His biggest challenges were in the social arena, and since his first college was a tier 1 school, no one gave him the time or the understanding he needed to unwind. He still struggled once he went to a local state college, his 2nd school. Third move was the charm: he found like-minded friends he felt comfortable with and an academic environment that challenged him but didn’t overwhelm. Their disabilities office was perfect for what he needed. Enough support for his first semester there, and after that, he managed on his own.</p>
<p>I totally understand your “fear” (worry) that he’ll never graduate from somewhere, especially after his first year’s experience. I had to play the delicate balancing game of enough support or too much. He’s so vulnerable. That first semester (at his 3rd college), I had to walk him from one appointment to the next, because staying with the chore of sign up was not going to happen without my intervention. It’s exhausting, for sure.</p>
<p>My one piece of advice: scaffold, but let him take the driver’s seat whenever possible. Talk with him about what needs to be done and encourage him to do some follow-up too, even if that means you stand right next to him as he does those things.</p>
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<p>The way the science resource center works would be frustrating to anyone…science majors always go to the head of the line. You can be 5th in line and wait an hour for your turn, then a science major walks in and he bumps ahead of you. I can’t imagine most kids having the patience to wait that out, much less my kid. BUT, they do have Saturday morning hours…knowing kids that age, I can’t imagine that there is a line at 8:30 on a Saturday morning.</p>
<p>I know you’re used to getting special services, but my typical kid needed tutoring too. My DH gave him a list of names he found on the school’s website, and DS2 located a tutor that helped him through several semesters of science classes. </p>
<p>If you find the science resource center is a hassle, why not post a job listing on some public bulletin board at the school? It may be somewhat harder to find a regular tutor at a CC since many kids move onto a 4-year college, but why not consider this? How about having your son ask his teacher? Maybe even go back to your HS and ask one of the science teachers there?</p>
<p>The most important feature is to make it a regular session. That really made a huge difference.</p>
<p>Actually, Son hasn’t received special services since 8th grade - no meaningful services since 6th grade. He went through high school with only me as a safety net; at college, he fell without a net, so now we are trying to figure out if special services will help.</p>
<p>There are colleges that let you follow your interests, without distribution requirements (as you know): could he consider one of them after taking a course or two at the CC this year?</p>
<p>Some disabilities offices take care of “structural accommodations” (such as wheelchair ramps, rooms without carpeting, etc.) but academic help is not handled by them at all. It does vary a lot. In some colleges, the disabilities office seems more like a guard dog, intended to protect the school legally while at the same time minimize student requests for accommodations and the accommodations themselves.</p>
<p>Have you considered that maybe there is a path other than college, at least for awhile? Two of mine are at great colleges but the third isn’t going. I didn’t go myself, though I was a good student, and I’ve done fine. There are other kinds of training.</p>
<p>It sounds like there are academic subjects that he loves though, so finding a way to study those without having to deal with other subjects (as someone suggested) is a great idea.</p>
<p>I love the term “scaffolding.” It is a true parental art to do that, and to slowly withdraw some of it over time (then put a little back with a setback, but then keep going)…sending sympathy…</p>
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<p>With his current transcript and GPA, he has few options. Schools that would have been super-safeties out of HS would not admit him now as a transfer. He can still return to his original 4 year school, with merit aid, because his GPA is high enough (becaue he dropped several classes second semester.) He’s going to have to boost his GPA a lot before another school will take him…and private schools would be at full pay, which we really couldn’t swing.</p>
<p>"He can still return to his original 4 year school, with merit aid, because his GPA is high enough (becaue he dropped several classes second semester.) "</p>
<p>So, maybe I’m missing something, but WHY is he not returning to his original school? Because you feel he failed once and will fail again? </p>
<p>What does your son SAY he wants to do? Does he want to complete college? Or is it that you want him to complete college?</p>
<p>Has your son articulated what he wants, at all?</p>
<p>There are many (many) reasons that he took a leave of absense from his original school. The reasons are rather confidential, but I don’t think there is a parent on CC who would have had him return. He really really wants to go back to his four year school.</p>
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<p>At the risk of stating the obvious, colleges don’t tend to allow students to keep failing semester after semester…at some point they tell a student not to return and I don’t think it’s a good idea to get to that point.</p>
<p>What is your son’s special area of interest that you say he would achieve at 99.9%?</p>
<p>Many programs have very different core requirements. If your son doesn’t like certain subjects, then you need to find a program which has few, if any, required classes in those subjects. Also, if still required to take some classes of non-interest, try to take pass-not pass.</p>
<p>Some kids are better off going to very specific programs: Culinary School, Radiology Technology, Car Mechanic, and many other tracks which lead to an independent life with a job. I see no reason for your son to be in a program which he is not interested in and you feel you have to constantly monitor. You need to find a program where your son will experience success on his own. He will advocate for himself if he is interested in the program and classes.</p>
<p>I have a son with Asperger’s. It is just a waste of time to try to talk him into taking classes or doing things he is not interested in. Aspies only succeed at that which they are interested in. As a parent, your job is to help your son discover his passion, and then pursue the passion with success.</p>
<p>Also, want to say that I hear that disability offices differ in services. You might need a different community college.</p>
<p>I am also concerned when you publicly write “we have had that conversation before”-implying that I am not listening to you or paying attention to your concerns. I am sorry you feel this way as I am trying my best to help you out. I have many years of experience dealing with special needs.</p>
<p>Missypie-It sounds like your CC is lousy. For what it is worth at least in Ca you can’t flunk out of the community college. You can just keep retaking the same classes or sign up for others. You do have to pass certain classes to move on to the next level.
Regarding core requirements- To transfer from our CC to a UC or Cal State you must take certain core classes. From looking at the list my own S with LD/ADD and executive function disorder would have a hard time completing some of the requirements.
At my son’s private college some of the majors do not require the language requirement. In his major which is a BFA they have a large amount of required courses so the major is exempt from the foreign language requirement. Son barely made it through HS Spanish and only did that with a great tutor and some generous teachers. For certain core requirements his University has choices. For the science requirement my son took an earth science class. It was interesting and not that difficult and filled with non science majors. For his 2nd science he tried physics something he is actually good at but he did not have the study skills to take it over summer and dropped it. He is taking a Biology course this fall titled something like “Informed Citizen-moral issues in Biology”. It is philosophic and only 10 students with lots of discussion. My son can handle the discussion. Hoping it gets him at least a C. For another core requirement he is taking a class called Global History of Food. The other choices were all either advanced classes in a foreign language or History of china type of classes. The school seems to have at least a couple of “easy” courses in some of the tougher core areas. Son has had to make his choices carefully. And I will admit at year 4 he still needs me to make sure he is on track to graduate. We also made sure he picked a major that we felt he could complete with his strengths. He considered engineering but in the end went with his artistic side and majored in Graphic Design. I know if he had stuck with engineering he would have flunked out.
Also son called yesterday and said he had picked up the paper to give to his Biology professor asking for a notetaker. Of course it is only the end of week 2. For my son that is not bad.
Regarding tutoring. I think some schools have specific tutoring for LD students. Also at son’s school LD students are able to get to the front of the line. At least that is what they say. My son is rarely organized enough to get to the tutoring center before they close. Also sometimes the professor has someone who they know who is willing to tutor. When son tried to take Physics this summer the prof had 2 past students who were willing to tutor for free. This was outside the hours of the tutoring center.
Also if it looks like the college is a poor fit or the classes are a poor fit you might consider him taking the semester off and working. Maturity can help. Plus a deadend job can also help motivate and it can also give you and your son time to research some other schools. I also would not discount applying to transfer to another 4 yr based on his poor first year. You never know.</p>
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<p>Please understand where we are in the process. He is not a high school student just starting out. At this point I can’t exactly call Grinnell and say, “Please take my son. He’s got a 1.9 but he’s a really great kid. Oh, and by the way, we need about $20K a year in merit aid.”</p>
<p>What he is doing this year is part of a well considered plan. The courses he is taking are courses that will definitely transfer back to his 4 year school. All I asked for on this thread were some ideas for dealing with an inflexible teacher. I’m sorry I kept the thread going. </p>
<p>Hope everyone has a great Labor Day weekend.</p>
<p>We have given you many ideas to deal with an inflexible teacher. SlitheyTov said she has experience as a com. college teacher and gave you excellent advice, among the other participants.</p>
<p>Many kids don’t like their classes or teachers and drop the class during drop/add period without penalty.</p>
<p>You clearly don’t want to reveal your son’s passion. Grinnell is not the only school out there. There are many community colleges.</p>
<p>Writing “I’m sorry I kept the thread going.” and “we have had this discussion before” is really insulting to the many people here who are trying to help you.</p>
<p>I hope you match your son with a program where he meets success on his own. You sound like a very caring, involved mom who wants her son to succeed and are concerned that things are not going as well as you would like.</p>
<p>Enjoy the holiday and good luck!</p>
<p>mdcissp, when I said that we have had this conversation before, I was being literal, as both of us tend to post on threads relating to Asperger’s.</p>
<p>Missypie, I know you want your son to do really well (of course). The challenge is that:</p>
<p>1) he’s in a course that’s probably not a favorite topic<br>
2) the teacher sounds to be a no-nonsense type
3) you’re concerned about getting accommodations, like a note-taker and a tutor
4) if he flunks this course, well, his chances of continuing at a 4-year college is slim</p>
<p>My suggestion is to make it work. Get to know the teacher. Get a tutor. Accept his limitations and intervene as needed. (pay for a tutor, pursue the note-taker but have him part of the process). I also suggest you balance this course with one that he loves.</p>
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<p>Great minds think alike. Two choirs and Brit Lit.</p>