need revisions/opinion on my NYU supp essay

College Essays
1

if anyone has the time to look this over for me that would be great, ill send you a pm with my essay. thanks in advance!

2

I’ll look over it for you if you want :slight_smile:

3

I messaged you my essay, its due at 12 am today, so whatever comments or thoughts are extremely useful to me. thanks for looking over it!

4

any other set of eyes on my essay would help if anyone has the time!

5

bump