Need someone to review an essay of mine, please ^^;

<p>Hiya guys! I have a single essay that I appreciate if someone could read over. It's not very long, but it's pretty rough. I think I need more...critique and advice than revision. Would anyone be able to take on the challenge?</p>

<p>(Sorry, I've been a bit of a lurker on CC, but I'm using a different name right now ^^; )</p>