My daughter is a freshman at a very large B1G school. Due to COVID, she was unable to do the majority of her college visits (had gotten 2 in before COVID hit). This made it very difficult to choose, and she was not overall excited about any of the many options she explored virtually. She literally made her choice on the last possible day, mostly because she felt that at a large state university, she would have a choice of so many potential majors (she is undecided) and there would be pretty much every different group of people I.e. partiers, non-partiers, extroverted, introverted, into sports, into arts, etc.
However, she has not found this to be the case. She is shy, quiet until you get to know her, a self-proclaimed “nerd” more interested in small gatherings, books, games, etc. than partying — and she feels most on campus are partiers, extroverts, sporty/outdoorsy, etc. She is interested in looking at schools within 6-8 hours driving distance of the Chicago area that have more of an “arty” or “nerdy” type diverse vibe. She’s not an art major, so not looking for a fine arts school, but that type of vibe. Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions? She has no clue where to even start.
Welcome! There are some fairly common questions that emerge for the OP on a thread like this. First of all, is price a consideration? Are you hoping for a school that offers merit $? What were her HS grades/GPA and standardized test scores? Is she currently performing well in her college classes? What extracurriculars was/is she engaged in? Other than cultural fit (arty, nerdy, diverse), what else is she looking for? How big of a school is she willing to consider? Other than proximity to Chicago, what does she prefer for location – urban, suburban, or rural?
It will be important to prioritize these considerations. For example, depending on your student’s qualifications, Oberlin sounds like a possible fit for an “arty/nerdy” personality, but it is not the most diverse LAC.
Remember that there is a self-selection effect here – she will have initial encounters with other students who are biased toward extroverts, because extroverts are more likely to seek out other students to interact with and otherwise be visible.
Great questions. She graduated high school with a 3.98 GPA, NHS, did not take the ACT due to Covid but was offered sizeable merit scholarships at all private schools she applied to, so she’d definitely be looking for somewhere where merit is a possibility. She is doing very well so far with a 15 credit course load this semester, but obviously it hasn’t been that long yet. She has attended Catholic schools her whole life, so she is ok with religious affiliations. And while her schools have always been on the smaller side, she is open to larger universities as well. She is at a very large school now and that doesn’t bother her — she’s just more looking for her group. Urban setting would be ideal.
What is she going to do differently at the new school to find her “people” or does she think people at a different school will just approach her more? If she transfers midyear or after a year could it be more difficult as other groups may have already formed and she would again be the outsider or new girl?
Agree. Now that there’s clarity that an urban school is preferred, this seems like a good suggestion. Macalester accepts very few transfers, however. I also agree with some of the comments above. Specifically that it can time to find traction at college. I did not like my large public university during my first semester, but I found my tribe eventually and ended up very happy.
I’m sorry to hear about her distress but she’s been at college a month or two and hasn’t found a group of friends? It isn’t that unusual or surprising. More to the point, what is she doing to meet people? Has she been joining clubs, talking to people on her dorm floor and in the activities the dorms set up for new students to meet?
I hate to sound like I’m raining on her parade, but as the saying goes “Wherever you go, there you are.” By putting her hopes in transferring she escapes needing to do anything today (or this year), waiting for her life to change once she’s at a different school. Other colleges don’t draw on a different set of students than the one she’s at. Especially since it’s a large public so pretty likely to have a fair sampling of college students. Next year at a new school may actually be more difficult for an introvert since the sophomores will have already built groups of friends that as an outsider she’ll need to break into.
Since her feelings are shared by others (as per link from @2plustrio and others you can find) most colleges have workshops and counseling available to help students adjust. Her first move should be to try these resources rather than pinning her hopes on another school fixing things.