<p>So here is the other side of the coin. Recently chatting with an adcom at a highly selective LAC after the info session. Happened to be the rep for our state. He asked DD if she knew the kid who graduated this past year and was coming to the school. He even knew the kid was taking a gap year before coming. Told her when he was visiting her school in the fall, and asked her to say hi to the GCs (by first name). The PS kid and family who was also standing there seemed a bit put out that he knew her school so well. So, whatever the bias it might imply the adcoms do know the BSs well and there is little misinterpretation of what their schedule and grades mean in the context of other HS. I think if you put forward the arrogant entitled attitude it really hurts you. However, BS kids usually do not have to spend a lot of effort explaining thier school and the rigor of their curriculum.</p>
<p>S3 told us at a family gathering this summer that he wanted to attend a boarding school when he was old enough. The look on the grandparent’s faces when we said we’d talk later rather than saying no was priceless. It’s his choice and I’m fine with letting him go. I think it’d be best for him because he’s always been identified as “just a part of a twin” so he wants to have his own idenity.</p>
<p>When my daughter started in BS three years ago, the response from one of the local folks was, “but I thought she was a good girl”. Fortunately, the “bad girls are sent to boarding school” premise is not all that prevalent around these parts.</p>
<p>I know it’s been said here before, but I feel much of the negative feedback BS parents get is due to unease on the parts of other parents, that perhaps they’re not doing right by their own children in not at least considering the BS option. I agree that some PS districts have excellent educational opportunities. Many rural and urban areas however have little available for those students who wish to extend themselves.</p>
<p>What are some names of “reform schools” of old? anyone know any? I think people are mixing up prep/boarding school with reform school; was there ever such a thing? If so, do they still exist? What would be considered a reform school? Anyone have any names? I know they can’t be Exeter, Andover, and Deerfield, but I still wonder about this. Were kids sent to boarding school who needed a healthy dose of character instilled in them?</p>
<p>Yeah, like all the military schools that teach you a dose of discipline.</p>
<p>In New York City, they weren’t boarding schools. They were (are?) part of the public school system. They were called “600 schools”. That was probably because part of the PS designation always was a two or a three digit numbner with the first number being 6 (i.e. PS 303, PS 148). They always had bars on the windows (before they were generally used to prevent theft).</p>
<p>Redbluegold- we found a neat advertisement for The Peddie School in NJ, dated aprox 1921. I don’t think it was ever a correctional school, but in line with the times, the ad wording said things like “character” and “stalwart manhood” an “splendid moral faculty picked for character”. A few interesting ways of “appealing” to it’s potential families - mentioned scholarship and healthy minds and bodies as well, but seemed they let a focus be on the character the boys would develop…</p>
<p>I realize I’m not answering exactly what you asked, but thought it was such a neat find and sort of fit your question that I wanted to share that.</p>
<p>My d is going into her second year at bs and is loving it. We just returned from a gathering with parents and kids that she was with at the number one gifted school in the city years ago. Due to our schedule, my d has not seen most of these people in years. As they asked me through the school year how my d was doing, I just don’t think they believed that it was working for her.</p>
<p>We get to the gathering, and the questions begin, 99% from parents. When they asked me how it was going, and I said ask her.</p>
<p>My mouth nearly dropped as the shock appeared on their faces! My d first displayed this overwhelming smile, then she went on to answer their questions in a style and beauty that even had me speechless! I was almost in tears as my d gave precise and accurate descriptions of her school and her experiences. She has such love but was able to state the difficulties that she had encountered and overcome. She spoke of the people she interacts with and how not only has her experience enlighten her, but she could see how those that had come into contact with her, had eye-opening experiences also. </p>
<p>The parents and some students couldnt stop asking questions. By the end of the evening, parents and kids commented on how this was such a good move for d and they only wish they had the guts to even look into this option.</p>
<p>My d said it all, with beauty and eloquence, I now refer any and all remarks to her, bs has taught her to advocate for herself at a level that I wasnt even aware she had in herself.</p>
<p>Congrats Alexz’s mom. Sounds like a great evening and a lot of growth that occurred when up against a year of challenges. Glad she came out on top. She sounds eloquent and polished. You must be proud and with good reason! :)</p>
<p>bumping this thread for this year’s crop of parents</p>
<p>We’ve become experts at deflecting negative comments over the years, whether for our decision not to participate in the local public school system from the outset, or later decisions to homeschool, and, most recently, to send our dc to boarding school. The main theme among those who think we’re (pick any two) a) crazy b)elitist c)overprotective d)underprotective, has been one of reflexivity: “I couldn’t send MY child away” or “I couldn’t teach MY child,” or, “Public school was good for ME so I figure it’s fine for MY child,” etc. ad nauseum. We have learned to be neutral, and not explain too much—the critics’ minds aren’t changed by our logic, and we don’t feel we should have to engage or defend our rationale. Those who know our dc understand, or, if they don’t, are at least willing to give us the benefit of the doubt as the parents of the student in question.</p>
<p>Like Alexz825Mom, we find letting our dd speak for herself works a treat. Seeing a happy, well-adjusted kid who can clearly state the reasons she’s happy in whatever situation she’s in makes it a bit hard to be openly critical (though not universally so—we do encounter the occasional crank, but it’s the exception that proves the rule).</p>
<p>Wow, you really took the words right out of my heart! Beautifully said! Your daughter sounds amazing and she is blessed to have such selfless parents.</p>
<p>Just in the application process right now but ears are starting to perk up even though we have not yet really told anyone. Officially. Funny how that happens, right? Bonus: it’s our ONLY child, so we’re still trying to move past all the suspicious questions of THAT decision too. Ha!</p>
<p>Well, I loved what you and so many others here on CC had to say about this and decided I will be making Xerox copies for the coming months…for when the fun really begins. (Actually maybe getting t-shirts printed out for our family to wear- from now through the end of the year- might work too. Saying something like:" Yes, we’ve REALLY decided to send darling_____ to ________! Then on March 10, we’ll (hopefully!) just fill in the blank and go about our business.
Well, anyway…Thanks for making my day!</p>
<p>Thanks for shooting this thread to me! So enjoying it and many posts are actually providing some much needed comic relief… as I sit up for yet another long night of paperwork that I didn’t manage to finish for yet another day.</p>
<p>I’ll be burning some of these responses into my brain for safekeeping!</p>
<p>@goforprep
“Your daughter sounds amazing and she is blessed to have such selfless parents.”</p>
<p>HAHAHAHA… no, we’re not selfless! But like many parents on these boards, we do want to provide our child(ren) with the best education in the best way we can—more importantly, at least as far as our family is concerned, we want to provide our child with the opportunity to acquire the academic and intellectual tools (and habits of mind) AND the social and emotional maturity needed to become a productive and self-sufficient member of society for the NEXT few-score years.</p>
<p>Thanks for your nice response - since I wrote that some time ago, it was good for me to go back and reread and I have to say it is still so true. My daughter is almost halfway through her 2nd year at boarding school and we are very thankful that we took that leap and explored the option. She has grown and is growing in ways we never could have foreseen through her experiences there - academic and social. Seeing her at Thanksgiving was awesome and I am always sad when she goes, but still wouldn’t trade having her home for the growth and happiness I am seeing in her now. I also wanted to say that we are still very close as a family. We talk often (phone and Skype), and it is really fascinating to talk about what she is thinking and noticing as she is so far from home. Everything from different cultures to parenting styles, decisions kids make and why, . . . fun stuff. Nice to have her seeking our thoughts and input as she goes along 
Good luck to you and your child as you go through the process - a bit of comic relief now and then is helpful!</p>
<p>Sorry, goforprep and edfirst, I missed the headline and saw only the post. Edfirst, your daughter DOES sound amazing… :-). Goforprep, it sounds like you are doing a really thorough job learning as much as you can, and remaining positive when your motives/decisions are questioned. Good luck with the search and application process!</p>
<p>We live in an education wasteland. No one cares, has ever heard of any east coast boarding schools, or bothers to wonder why DS is gone, so were generally spared explanations of any type. The most we ever get from anyone now is, Where is <ds> again? Does he ever come home? Initially, there was more curiosity over the spelling and pronunciation of Choate than what it is and why DS is there. After the spelling lesson, the room usually goes silent for a few seconds until someone points out how delicious the hors doeuvres are, and I want to melt.</ds></p>
<p>Ive posted multiple times about how I appreciate this board and hang here waaaaay too much just to feel part of an understanding community. Sometimes I think Im pathetic when I find myself saying to DH, hey, guess what <one-of-you> had to say on CC today about some issue we can only discuss with each other. So, again, thank you virtual and PM friends for all you share along this often lonely journey.</one-of-you></p>
<p>“Sometimes I think I’m pathetic when I find myself saying to DH, “hey, guess what <one-of-you> had to say on CC today” about some issue we can only discuss with each other.”</one-of-you></p>
<p>+1 on this…</p>
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<p>We were like those people and previously had never heard of any of the BS’s, which leads me to a negative reaction I got from one of the parents at DS’s BS:</p>
<p>The parent (himself a 2nd generation legacy) asked why we selected DS’s BS (an ACRONYM school). We told him that as we parents are not from New England and are products of public school, BS was not was not part of our experience, so we picked the schools to which DS applied on the basis of stats from an internet website.</p>
<p>He asked in horrified disbelief, “Stats??? Stats??? You mean like SSAT scores? You picked this school on SSAT scores???” </p>
<p>I said, “yes, SSAT scores. We never heard of the school before.”</p>
<p>He nearly fell off his chair.</p>
<p>GMTplus7, we also began with almost zero knowledge of BS, so ssat stats have influenced our search, as well. One has to start somewhere, and if one is not a legacy, readily available comparison stats are as good a place as any.</p>