When we considered boarding school, I totally expected to be taking time for drop off, pick up, conference, parents weekends, etc. What I never expected was how many days I’d have to take off to pick up and drop off for long weekends. I wish at least either drop off or pick up took place on the weekend. Luckily, my husband’s schedule is a bit more flexible than mine.
I just thought this was something to keep in mind for parents in the application process.
We have to pick up kids for long weekends??! Is that just for local families?
I seriously was picturing: fall drop off. parents weekend fly out. then my DD flying home alone on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break. Then pick up for summer.
Am I getting this wrong?
@Calliemomofgirls no, your daughter does not need to come home for long weekends. Dorms and food service stay open and many long distance kids stay on campus. We are within driving distance, and for the second year in a row my son has chosen to stay at school during long winter weekend (which is this upcoming weekend.) I’m sure there will be super bowl activates and plenty of friends around. All of the schools on your list have a high percentage of boarders, so it’s unlikely they will be ghost towns over long weekends.
Do agree though that we take a significant amount of time off work for pick up and drop off. Being within driving distance pretty much forces this issue- there is no other good way for him to get home. Although we do carpool at times, which helps.
There there are those unexpected trips. Like last spring when I got a phone call from the health center at noon on a Monday. My son, along with 16 other kids, tested positive for the flu all on the same day! The health center was overwhelmed and they were urging parents within driving distance to come pick up their kids. So, I had to drop everything and go pick him up. Certainly he was better off at home than at school, but it was a rough start to the week. Then I had to have him seen by a Dr to get cleared to come back to school. Good times.
Yes, I thought my schedule would lighten up with a kid in BS but it’s been anything but that! Being fairly close, we are in the same situation with all the weekday pick-ups and drop-offs for breaks, attending games, and driving DS and often other kids for off-season sports.
But it is different for kids from farther away. For most breaks they can stay on campus, or they’ll go home with friends (a lot of kids end up going to NYC), or parents will come and take the kid somewhere local to get away for a couple of days (or go visit colleges).
I have assumed that the weekday travel is so that an entire long weekend isn’t taken up in transit to and from airports and on planes, and so kids don’t have to travel on peak travel days. Although I chuckled at it at first, I do kind of see the justification to sending 3 or 4 kids back to school with a driver and livery car — especially when it’s going from NYC or Fairfield County to Litchfield County on.a Monday evening!
Counter point, we are within an hour of our DS’s school. We have literally never picked him up in 2 years unless the school closed for a holiday. We have gone to visit for games and the occasional injury but to put him in the car for a long weekend at home never crossed anyone’s mind in our family. The campus is always in motion on regular and long weekends, plus sports and hours (and hours) of study time is needed. Personally our family schedule is FAR easier than the middle school years driving to various evening and weekend activities.
At my sons school most kids do not stay for their long weekends. Long weekends are usually at least 4/5 days it’s not like mlk weekend with one day off.
Kids within driving distance do get picked up. Kids flying distance get buses by school to the airports. Kids who live too far away have to ask a friend to stay with them.
So @Calliemomofgirls this definitely varies by school and is something to ask about after admittance as the cost of flying home three extra times could be a lot.
Long weekends at DS’s school are about 5 days and the school is CLOSED. Everyone off campus. I’m sure arrangements can be made for kids that just can’t get home, but I think even those kids go home with friends or a faculty member that will host. I think there are 2 or 3 a year. Long breaks (Winter and Spring) also have weekday pick up and drop off. So that’s at least 4 breaks (8 days off of work) a year.
There are two parent weekends. They begin on Friday morning for upperclassman and on Thursday for first years. There did seem to be a number of people that did not arrive on campus until Saturday.
Most schools have a faculty member that arranges all transportation. Amtrack is a popular option for those at DS’s school traveling to the Westchester/NYC area.
We did consider carpooling, but it just didn’t work out this year as there weren’t any families in our area. I’ve also encouraged DS to invite anyone that needs a “home away from home” to come stay with us.
My job was much more flexible when we applied, so I didn’t notice or consider that I’d be taking time off of work. Just something to plan for you are in our situation.
Our school more or less clears out over the long weekend breaks (though one dorm is open and some kids do stay) but most parents don’t pick up, kids travel on their own. There are shuttle buses to Boston, NYC and the area airports that are heavily used. And a lot of the semi-local kids Uber to the the train station and take the train (more flexible and half the cost of the shuttle). That is assuming their destination is near public transport, there are certainly kids who live in places where this is not practical, so pick up and drop off is needed. They seem to have carpools going though with other kids living nearby so it’s not terribly taxing either.
There are lots of kids who stick around for long weekends at our school. For something like Thanksgiving, when dorms close but it may not be feasible for kids to go home, many kids make their own arrangements to go home with friends but the school also works with local (often day) families who want to provide homestays. Many of the international students develop a “local family” this way.
But when the school is CLOSED, everyone has to leave campus.
Nope. That’s exactly how it’s been for our family. My D doesn’t fly home for long weekends, and I’ve been there only once for a long weekend. The school is plenty full with kids who don’t go home, and they have scheduled activities, or some kids go to Boston for a day or two (the older ones). Once she stayed with a local friend, some other times there were away tournaments for her club sport. It’s never been a problem.
So after kind of complaining about the driving, I had the best three hours ever with my son talking all the way home today. He never looked at his phone, we never turned on the radio, just caught up on everything. Definitely worth taking the time off of work.
^ love that. Driving time is the best time.
I had no idea there was such variation in long weekends. I don’t really think Cate has them, and it would be really hard on the international students if they did. There are Mondays without classes, but there is usually some sort of alternative program – e.g. MLK Day. They only close the campus on big vacays and summer.
Note re: flying home: check the airline that you would use. If your student is on the younger side, they still may be an “unaccompanied minor” – which may mean they can’t do connections on their own. It is an airline by airline thing, but it can cause some real problems. Check the policies.
Yes, @vwlizard, the driving time can be very special. We mostly communicate via text from school, so the car rides are the time to catch up. They are like a suspended in-between time when he’s away from the campus grind but not back to the day-to-day of being at home.
The only time ChoatieKid was caught by the school closure gap (spring training trip ended two days before dorms re-opened), one of our wonderful BS posters here picked him up from the airport, housed and fed him, and returned him to Choate. Forever grateful, my friend. 
@Calliemomofgirls your expectation is exactly how we have handled trips home and long weekends. Additionally, we received a call yesterday about our daughter testing positive for the flu and spending the next few days in the health center. As referenced above, with the flu rampant local-ish families are encouraged to pick up their kiddos to recover at home to ensure room in the HC for those long distance families, but with 24 hour nursing care there is no medically necessary reason to send her home / pick her up, etc…
Glad to read this thread. It appears there are mixed responses … some schools clear out/some stay full/some 50/50.
My thinking was the same as @Calliemomofgirls. This will be a factor in school choice if come M10 there IS a choice 
For @Calliemomofgirls and other prospective cros country folk, DS comes home Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Break. We try to go up Parent’s weekend and Easter weekend, if we can. He stays on campus or goes to a local boarder’s home for long weekends (this year is the dreaded V form, so although he’s been invited, he’s chosen to stay on campus for much needed rest more often than not).
@CateCAParent is right. Check into airline restrictions. DS has used Southwest for all flights (we only have three options at our airport). He is not accompanied or supervised on any flight and makes all connections and checkins on his own. In the event of delayed or cancelled flights, they’ve been very good to call me with the new itinerary before he’s even aware there’s an issue. And…if he can’t check in for the coveted A slot, he’s allowed to board at the same time as the families with small children as an unaccompanied minor.
Other airlines would have charged the additional fee to have flight attendant supervision, etc.
It can definitely be a lot. Luckily, DD’s school has transportation for a small fee ($30ish for the Boston airport drop off, $56 from Mass to NYC. The chartered bus leaves campus and brings students to NYC where DH works and makes a few stops in Connecticut along the way. DH picks her up from the bus stop and brings her home to NJ which is part of his daily commute. The bus runs holidays, and long weekends. I’m so grateful for this service.