<p>RTR, Packmom and Aglages,
Thanks for your thoughts. I probably should have mentioned that my son being a varsity athlete his freshman and sophomore years with year round athletic commitments had a significant effect on his academic work habits (some kids can go from school to multihour practice or game and then work for several more hours, but he was not one of them). He is does not seek a party atmosphere but does not want to be surrounded by cutthroat gradegrubbers or arrogant intellectuals, either. Our HS is filled with them and he hated being around them.
He wants to have some balance in his life and be around kids who would rather talk about LeBron James than Henry James outside class. He also has not yet fully grasped that his coming within a whisker of a 4.0 last year means his academic inferiority complex is unfounded.<br>
Aglages’ theory–which I may be misconstruing-- appears to be that he was a slacker in HS, so put him in the more demanding school as a punishment. That does not work for me. Even if Aglages was meaning to say that my son has not applied himself fully, so put him in a fast paced environment to teach him to do so, I have my doubts about his wisdom. To me, it would seem to send a message that his reward for excelling last year and so far this year is to be forced to go where he does not want to go, because I do not trust or care about his decision and think an academic boot camp is better for him. Yes, I think he might rise to the faster pace and achieve a degree which would have more marketplace value, but I am not yet ready (nor is my spouse) to take this step.
As for why, when I would not let my son make any other potential $200,000 decision, I am inclined to let him make this one, it is because this decision involves the next 4 years of his life.</p>
<p>priyanka-kiswani - ASU doesn’t like to see Ds on your transcripts in academic subjects. However your 3.0 could possibly mitigate that - you should contact a counselor there to find out. Your scores are kind of low, I’m not sure what you mean by 1800+ - if you can bring them up that would be a big help. Michigan is not really a possibility, and I don’t know much about the rest. My son has applied to ASU which is why I know about it!</p>
<p>on another note - my 2.92 gpa son (like that extra 2?) was admitted to Northern Arizona University today without having to submit his SAT/ACT scores. Its such a relief that, if nothing else, we know he’s going to college~ only 12 more schools to hear from :)</p>
<p>I can understand your not liking RTR’s reply, but your labelling RTR, who started this thread which has benefitted many parents and students, and has been very generous with supportive, helpful advice to many posters, a teen, very poor parent or ■■■■■ is unfair.</p>
<p>Priyanka, you could look at Alfred University (NY) Inamori School of Engineering as a safety school. They have Electrical Engineering & Mechanical Engineering.</p>
<p>Ginger40 - my son is very happy at St. Joes. He chose the school because the business school has a good reputation and because there is a lot of school spirit. The school organizes trips to Philly’s games, the Jersey Shore, etc. The 76’ers have been practicing in the school’s gym and he has gone to see them practice. They also offered a weekend wilderness retreat at the end of Sept for kids who were having a hard time adjusting (he wasn’t one of them). He seems to like his teachers. They offer a lot of extra help sessions. Why did he choose St. Joes over the others? Several of the other schools are within a 2 hour drive of where we live. They were too close for him. Loyola MD had been his #1 choice all year because he loves Baltimore. I think he would have gone there if they accepted him earlier. When Loyola finally took him off the waiting list, he was already mentally committed to St. Joes (and monetarily with the deposit). Regarding the safety, I feel that he is very safe within the campus. The school is located in a pretty area, but it is still in the city. If they leave the campus at night, they should buddy up. The school has their own shuttle bus that routinely stops at the nearby train station and a few strip malls. I even used it when I went to visit. Good luck with your visit!</p>
<p>Priyanka
I wish you luck, and congratulate you on your dramatic improvement, but if there was no objective reasons for your junior year struggles and no dramatic rise in your SATs, I suggest you search for 4 or more schools with much lower average GPAs and SATs. I am sorry that I do not know enough about Mechanical Engineering programs to offer more specific suggestions, although URI may be a fine option.</p>
<p>“appears to be that he was a slacker in HS, so put him in the more demanding school as a punishment.”
No not as punishment. It is just my opinion that YOU should decide what is best for him instead of allowing him to continue to take the easiest route. If YOU thought the easiest route was the best for him (for whatever your more mature reasons might be) then I would agree that that direction might be best.</p>
<p>“Even if Aglages was meaning to say that my son has not applied himself fully, so put him in a fast paced environment to teach him to do so, I have my doubts about his wisdom.”
I don’t know about the “to teach him to do so” part, but yes my advice was that he should go to a school that would cause him to work up to the level he is capable of, instead of the level that he is used to and comfortable with.</p>
<p>“To me, it would seem to send a message that his reward for excelling last year and so far this year is to be forced to go where he does not want to go”
One year out of three deserves what reward? Clearly, we disagree on when and what to reward.</p>
<p>“because I do not trust or care about his decision and think an academic boot camp is better for him.”
I must have missed where in your message you compared your first choice to a boot camp? I’ve included the following for you as a reminder of your description.
“He ranks my first choice second, as far as I can tell, because it is more selective and he is afraid he would have to work too hard and the kids would be too academically inclined.
I think my preference would help him more in the job market and that he lacks confidence academically because he only started working reasonably hard as a junior.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I think he might rise to the faster pace and achieve a degree which would have more marketplace value, but I am not yet ready (nor is my spouse) to take this step.”
I understood this. You did ask for other opinions though.</p>
<p>“As for why, when I would not let my son make any other potential $200,000 decision, I am inclined to let him make this one, it is because this decision involves the next 4 years of his life.”
This approach is so far off in left field to my own that I not only disagree, but I can’t possibly imaging how / why you think this is a good idea. That said, it is your money and your son. I have “voiced” my opinions (as you asked) and sincerely wish you and yours the best of success.</p>
<p>Thanks a lot for the feedback . </p>
<p>I will look in to Alfred uni . </p>
<p>Go ahead and add/edit my university list completely .</p>
<p>Agalages, my sincere thanks for your thoughts.
Priyanka, Alfred is an excellent school, although rather isolated.</p>
<p>Can’t please everyone…</p>
<p>Priyanka…look at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte. UNCC has a variety of engineering majors, is in a big city, lots of international students.</p>
<p>yabeyabe2, if your son is admitted to his #1 ED, he’ll get to skip filling out all those applications, waiting, possibly getting some rejections (which hurt even if he preferred another school). You alluded to it before, but I want to reinforce that your son having a happy carefree second half of his senior year is no small thing.</p>
<p>S’07 went RD with all his apps. He truly did not have a top choice - he had 3 top choices. Waiting till March/April was a real pain, but it was the right thing for him.</p>
<p>D’10 has applied ED. She knows where she wants to go, its a great school for her, and ED increases her chances at this school. Fingers crossed that we get good news on 12/1 and the rest of the year is a whole lot less stressful. (Can’t coast, but wouldn’t have to panic over a C in her AP class).</p>
<p>There’s no one-size-fits-all. </p>
<p>(Don’t want to get into the RTR/algages discussion, but I’d like to share what a very experience GC told our Senior parents: “If you tell your kid where they’re going to college instead of letting them choose, you risk spending the next 40 years of holiday dinners listening to them complain about how you ruined their life because you didn’t let them go to the college they wanted to attend. At least if they make a bad choice they know it was THEIR choice, and they can always transfer.” I thought that was an interesting viewpoint to keep in mind, haha).</p>
<p>Well, this is clearly the thread for me - S2 has UW GPA of 3.2 - so I have found all the suggestions very helpful. He has big dreams, so he is still crafting “the list”, trying to narrow it down a bit, and still have a few safeties.</p>
<p>However, I have a different kind of question. He actually flunked the second semester of Spanish 3, and then took it again and got a ‘C’. He had dyslexia and still has dysgraphia, for which he has accommodated very nicely in his other classes. But, foreign language was a real struggle. Should he address this in the “other information” section of the application? I think he would prefer not to bring attention to this, and emphasize his more positive attributes.</p>
<p>Fang and Laf, many thanks for your advice
Mom2, i would address the issue, as they will wonder about the F and you may need to ask for accomodation at the college eventually. I think he has plenty of room to stress his strengths–but also think overcoming disabilities for a 3.2 is a strength. Best of luck to him</p>
<p>uh… 3.3 unweighted living in MN, captain of various teams and clubs.
29 act with 12 writing.
UW-MAdison and UM-TC are only state schools considering, prefer LACs.
St.Olaf too much reach?</p>
<p>“…you risk spending the next 40 years of holiday dinners listening to them complain about how you ruined their life because you didn’t let them go to the college they wanted to attend.”
It’s hard for me to imagine that a 17 year old self entitled under achiever would continue to whine at age 57 about how I ruined his life by limiting or choosing his college. How about the parents that cannot afford to send their children to their school of choice, would they also risk this 40 years of holiday complaining? Perhaps those children would be more appreciative? Just speculating…</p>
<p>Aglages, I think are being very, very presumptuous in assuming that all 3.2 students are self entitled under achievers. There are all sorts of kids for which 3.2 is not underachieving and what makes you think the kids are “self entitled?” If you have an open dialogue with your kids about what you can and cannot afford there should be no “self entitlement” involved. Many kids understand the limitations of their parents’ budgets and are grateful to go to college at all. And yes, “forcing” a kid to go to a school that they are not interested in could cause a situation where a kid could throw it back at a parent. If you are a parent in the fortunate position of being able to give your kids choice, then yes, some parents struggle with watching their kids make a decision that the parent might feel is not the “best choice”, but that is an entirely different situation which has nothing to do with “entitlement” and is more about “fit and feel.” If I were in the situation (where there was only one affordable choice) I would give the choice of CC + two years somewhere else or the 4 year college that is affordable but that’s just me. But frankly the tone of your posts indicate that you are either struggling with your own child (without asking for help) or are just being antagonistic without really contributing to the conversation and that comes off either as an unhappy teenager or a “■■■■■” while you might not be either. Just a thought.</p>
<p>All of us here have kids who are not high scorers or top students. The reasons for this can be many, and there is not enough room in a simple post to explain every situation to the full satisfaction or understanding of everyone else. So let’s continue the goal of this thread: to be supportive, knowing parents and kids are trying their best to navigate the college process, and not leap to judgment. Aglages, calling a child whom you’ve never met a “self entitled under achiever” or to have a nasty attitude to the person who started this excellent thread is really not helpful here.</p>
<p>To ReadytoRoll, thanks for starting this thread. Momofthreeboys, yabeyabe, and others, thank you for thoughtful discussions that do not jump to negative conclusions. I can go to other boards here to hear distain about my child’s low GPAs or statements that he doesn’t deserve any choices in his education.</p>
<p>Within a lifetime, a year or two is very minimal. Unfortunately for kids who falter in their teen years and as a result get lower grades, the repercussions of those few years can be more significant than for people who falter at different points in their lives. But with the right steps into the next phase of life, all kids can achieve the future that is right for them.</p>
<p>Kids often pick their own colleges. I certainly picked mine. My parents were totally supportive (even though it had less prestige than schools the others in my family went to), and to this day, we all know it was the perfect choice. If it had been a terrible choice, I’m sure they would have steered me in another direction, but within a reasonable range, I think “fit and feel” can mean a lot. Each parent knows their own child best, and narrowing it down to things that both parent and child can be happy with can produce some excellent results. </p>
<p>If a parent strongly believes that something is not right for their kid, they should step in and prevent it. Of course. But if someone feels that their child strongly prefers something that seems a reasonable good choice, and maybe will even engage and excite this student more than high school did, why throw flames at this parent for considering it?</p>