<p>mom2boys - everything I’ve read says that things like this should definitely be explained. It sounds to me like your son’s struggle with this class offers an opportunity to discuss some of his strengths - resilience, perseverance, good work ethic, etc. He tried and failed, then he dusted himself off, tried again and managed a C in a class that really requires strengths in his specific area of weakness (his LD). I think this is a real opportunity to show the admissions folks what he does when the going gets tough - he kicks it into high gear and takes care of business! </p>
<p>Another possibility is having his guidance counselor explain it for him, but if you ask the GC to do it, you can’t control the positive spin as much as if your son does it himself.</p>
<p>Forsaken and Aglages
F, I cannot comment on St Olaf (other than its good reputation) but many have also commented favorably on Kalamazoo for this group. What is your geographic range?
A, “self entitled” people, unless they change, are the most likely to whine years later, no? I assume you are saying you would not put up with it, which is fine.
Although your certainty in the accuracy of your judgments seems --I hope unintentionally–boundless, I respectfully suggest you consider that it is often difficult to distinguish “self-entitlement” from “self-awareness”. As mom3 wisely said, often our kids have a better sense of where they will thrive than we do. And, sadly, many kids, when they encounter the bumps of freshman year, will try to overcome them less hard when they can blame their parents for making them go there instead of their first choice.</p>
<p>In my individual case, I was a GPA underachiever in HS, but with very high test scores and was able to to gain acceptance from 1 Ivy, but with no aid, although my parents were far from wealthy. Many parents, rather than risk so much of their savings on an underachiever, would have sent me to state school, saying that if I finally received strong grades, I could then attempt to transfer to an Ivy. Instead, they left the choice to me and I thrived there.
Although my son’s choice does not mirror mine, I want to let him make his own decision. If he were making that decison based on a girlfriend of two weeks, or a reputation for rampant drug use, the situation would be different.</p>
<p>“MacTessa2
All of us here have kids who are not high scorers or top students. The reasons for this can be many, and there is not enough room in a simple post to explain every situation to the full satisfaction or understanding of everyone else. So let’s continue the goal of this thread: to be supportive, knowing parents and kids are trying their best to navigate the college process.”</p>
<p>I agree - Anyway I guess I can understand both sides - there is a very fine line (with me anyway) between pushing our kids or letting them do their own thing. It’s a very difficult call. I’m on the fence right now, do I push my kid to try to apply & go to the “best” college she can get into? What’s the difference - how will it turn out in the long run? job, graduate school, happiness, even completing college. Who knows - I think we all just try the best we can. Everyone has different opinions and I think it’s great to hear all the varied points of view.</p>
<p>“I think are being very, very presumptuous in assuming that all 3.2 students are self entitled under achievers.”
^^^^
I don’t think that all 17 year old 3.2 students fit this description. Just the whiny ones that for “the next 40 years of holiday dinners listening to them complain about how you ruined their life because you didn’t let them go to the college they wanted to attend.” I’m sorry if this description reminds anyone of their own child.</p>
<p>You are forgiven and nope, my high school 3.3 is now a college 3.8 and doing well and whines about his lack of disposable income, but not about college in general fortunately. Hopefully #2 will be as equally successful wherever he lands.</p>
<p>"calling a child whom you’ve never met a “self entitled under achiever” "
^^^^^
Whose child did I call a “self entitled under achiever”?</p>
<p>“or to have a nasty attitude to the person who started this excellent thread”
Review the order of “nasty attitude” posts between the OP of this thread and myself. I think you’ll find his nasty attitude post directed to me began the exchange. Starting a thread does not automatically bestow on you the title or role of “thread / morality policeman”.</p>
<p>Yesterday, S came home with good news. His GPA was actually higher than the 3.3 because two of his teachers hadn’t changed his grades after he scored well on the AP tests. The A in the class bumped him up! </p>
<p>After holding on to the completed app to his #1 choice for two long weeks, S is sending it in today! </p>
<p>Now, I have to encourage him to get his other apps done!</p>
<p>Back to the RD/ED discussion. We are having this discussion in our house at this time. My ds has one clear cut favorite and about 5 other schools that he likes enough to apply. On one hand he doubles his chance of getting accepted if he applies ED, and with his GPA this might be his best chance to go to a school that’s a good intellectual match. (This school accepts a huge amount of their class ED.)</p>
<p>On the other hand, it seems as if it is hard to know a school after 1 or 2 visits. It would be nice to see how everything plays out but???</p>
<p>Here’s where things stand with my S: 2 rolling applications submitted, 1 EA to be submitted by Nov 1, 1 EA to be submitted by December 1, and one RD to be submitted by Jan. 15. His list includes both publics and privates.</p>
<p>yabeyabe2, yes, S finalized his list to 3 schools long ago bur with his GPA going up and down (and fortunately up again), DH and I encouraged to cast a wider net. So, he will most likely apply to 6 schools. Most of them are matches (his #1 is a match-reach) but vary in cost. </p>
<p>warriorboy, S decided on his first choice after 1 visit. He also has friends who attend there. He’s applying ED so if accepted - that’s where he’ll go. S’s issue for so long was fear of failure - and he’s not really a risk taker. So, his decision to go for this school as ED is really a big step for him. I’m praying that it pays off!</p>
<p>It is nice to see how everything plays out & those accepted Student Days can be very insightful, sometimes with overnight stays. Warriorboy, if he went ED, would there be any looking back later on, do you think… “Well, we will never know what would have happened with College X…” Somehow I can see why the schools love ED, you have already played your hand & demonstrated your love for the school & it makes their yields look good too! If you feel your S won’t qualify for need-based aid & won’t get merit aid elsewhere, then it might be a good decision to make. That is up to you and your family to decide!</p>
<p>warrior-This sounds like a situation that would really support an ED app if that is what your S wants. I think I remember that he has done his research and visited a lot of schools. If he clearly has a favorite that seems to be a great fit, where ED would give him a boost, and if you are comfortable with the projected finances, I would let him apply ED. It sounds like he is making this decision for all the right reasons, trust his instincts. Good luck.</p>
<p>Lilmom, best of luck! Glad everything seems to have fallen into place!</p>
<p>Warriorboy, your having bth the luxury of not needing to wait to compare aid packages and the burden of knowing he may have only this shot at his current #1 gives you a tough decision to make. </p>
<p>Kids like ours, at schools like Muhlenberg, Drew, F&M and Ursinus, are the Admissions Department’s “safeties”, balancing the fact that they are the safeties for kids applying to top 50 schools. Our best shot is ED, before they get dazzled by all the 4.0/1400 kids–especially if we are not asking for aid. They get to fill some slots and fatten their coffers to go after the kids they really want.
You and your son have looked at a lot of schools together. If his top pick is a reach, it is unlikely to lose its allure to him, as he seems very focused on intellectual strength, reputation and campus appearance, rather than a passing fancy such as a videogame major; nearby ski montain; or successful basketball team.
I wish you best of luck. Remember, if he applies there ED, from your descrription, your worry is that he gets into his top choice/reach and then changes his mind–89% of CC would sell their souls to get their kids into their top choice reach ED :)</p>
<p>ForskakenOne, I definitely don’t think St. Olaf is too much of a reach. Are you the parent? I ask because it sounds like English might not be your first language. First generation Americans have an advantage in applications at many colleges!</p>
<p>If you are considering St. Olaf, would you also think about other Midwest liberal arts schools? The Midwest is loaded with fine liberal arts schools that would accept students in this thread.</p>
<p>Two of my three sons applied ED and never looked back…they were each very happy with their choices and were sure of what they were doing, and for the right reasons. Middle son always had a little more trouble making up his mind, and while he is very happy at his school, he did not choose to apply anywhere ED…and still could see himself at other schools.</p>
<p>If your child has a clear preference for one school, and if that school has a clear preference for ED applicants, it’s all good. Just be sure that the “preference” for ED applicants applies to the general applicant pool as well as recruited athletes, etc., because sometimes, especially at smaller schools, a small number of these can skew the statistics.</p>
<p>My son has his heart set on a couple of schools that are kind of reach-y for him; also expensive; I am doubting our ability to afford them without merit aid.</p>
<p>Any suggestions for the Northeast; he is science oriented. Tests well, but underachieved in high school.</p>
<p>Martina, tell him <em>now</em> what you can and can’t afford. He needs to know <em>now</em> that even if he is admitted to one of his reaches, he won’t be able to go unless he gets merit aid. Let him know your budget. Help him find schools that you can afford.</p>
<p>I’m brainstorming here so I might not have the selectivity right, but Clark? NJIT? RIT?</p>
<p>I was searching Naviance tonight, and RIT looked like a match -</p>
<p>He’s also looked at UMass Amherst - on the reach side (and totally out of the question for engineering)</p>
<p>Umass Lowell - match</p>
<p>Northeastern, Drexel. Both reaches and I don’t think they’ll work financially. He’s my first to college, so I’m not sure what we’ll qualify for, EFC was not encouraging. I have 2 others down the road, so I can’t go into deep debt for him.</p>
<p>martina,
I think a dose of financial reality will help your son. His best chances at generous aid are where he will be a well above average candidate.</p>
<p>For an out of the box thought, how about some of the better Canadian schools, such as McGill? I have heard they are very good values and not horribly far from MA, where I gather you live.</p>
<p>Forgive me for not knowing much about engineering vs. good schools for B students. How about URI? RIT is a very good school. If you are willing to go farther, perhaps Alfred; some of the SUNY schools (Stony Brook?) and Oneonta, Siena or Hartwick. For some less expensive options in PA, take a look at Temple; Pitt; Albright; Lycoming; Elizabethtown; York; Scranton and Bloomsburg. NJ and Philly schools tend to be very expensive and I do not know if aid would close the gap, but Ursinus; Fairleigh Dickinson and St Josephs are possibilities. Towson and Salisbury in MD are good values.</p>
and nope, my high school 3.3 is now a college 3.8 and doing well and whines about his lack of disposable income, but not about college in general fortunately. Hopefully