New here, mom of 2019 grad trying to figure all this out

@Kjskies228 - I understand your frustration, and would urge you to either find out in advance which CSS schools are likely to be less stringent on the rules for non-custodial parent info, or avoid them entirely.

I just wanted to point out that pretty much ALL child support payments are court-mandated; that’s nothing that gives your situation a special case. And the fact that he pays nothing beyond that is also not that special.

So I wouldn’t base my conversation with those CSS schools on those facts alone, because that’s the situation that approximately 50 percent of the country is in, give or take.

Lot of great advice. The financial aid system can be very frustrating. In order to maintain your sanity, I would focus on “what” not “why”. Some things just simply are. So FAFSA only schools are a good place to start. Pick some others that will consider your circumstances re the CSS Profile. Before you spend a lot of time getting excited about those schools, have a very specific conversation with the a senior financial aid officer at the school (all the contact info will be on the school’s site). No sense in applying if it can’t work financially. Once you have a few of those conversations, you’ll figure out if wiggle room exists and get them to cut to the chase.

I know this is a very objective, non feeling way to approach it, but it really is a good way to not waste time, get Ds hopes up. They either can or they can’t. If they can’t (won’t) scratch them off and move on. At the end of the day, they don’t really care…but you do. That’s what makes it hard.

If you meet the income threshold for the SUNY schools, have her look at Purchase - nice suburban campus but really close to NYC. Right on the CT border by Greenwich. Also look at Stony Brook - great sciences and a big university so she will have her pick of majors. And they won’t want a CSS. Good luck!

I know this was mentioned a couple of times before, but have your daughter try both a practice ACT to see how she does on that. Colleges don’t care if she submits the ACT or SAT, and some kids do substantially better on one rather than another. The higher she scores, the better her chances for school scholarships, including some automatic scholarships.

Thank you everyone! There are a lot of great points here that I will apply as we begin our search. I think I want to get a notebook where I can write things down.

Is she looking at any SUNYs as financial safeties? Their COA is ~$20k. I think they have grants for STEM majors who are in the top 10% of their class. If your income is < $125k, she’ll qualify for a full tuition grant that can be used for any major. Awards don’t stack, though. You can get one or the other, but not both. If she gets a ~$6k tuition grant, takes the ~$5500/year federal student loan, and you contribute ~$6k, she’ll have ~$17k. If she works summers she can probably earn the other $3k. If you’re within commuting distance of one of the 4-year SUNYs, she could commute and graduate without debt. That’s a good backup option too.

The following four schools seem to be the only ones that (a) claim to meet 100% of demonstrated need, and also (b) do not require the CSS Profile for non-custodial parents:
Oberlin College
University of Chicago
University of Virginia
Vanderbilt University

Sources:
https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/paying-for-college/articles/2017-09-21/colleges-that-claim-to-meet-full-financial-need
https://profile.collegeboard.org/profile/ppi/participatingInstitutions.aspx

However, even the few schools that don’t require the CSS Profile for NCPs may require families to provide related information. Oberlin for example has its own NCP statement (https://www.oberlin.edu/sites/default/files/content/office/financial-aid/documents/2018-19/non-custodialparentstmt.pdf)

If there are colleges out there that tend to provide very generous n-b aid, yet don’t require any NCP financial information at all, maybe someone out there can name them.

Bottom line, as far as I can tell:
Virtually all so-called “full need” colleges expect both custodial and non-custodial parents “to contribute to their children’s educational costs based on their financial ability.” (https://sfs.virginia.edu/need)
So if the non-custodial parent is able but not willing to contribute (or won’t even provide the information), then the best recourse may be to focus on low sticker prices or merit scholarships, not need-based aid.

She may be able to get waivers at some schools, though.

College Board and NACAC offer fee waivers for the SAT and for college application fees. You can find information here: https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/get-in/applying-101/college-application-fee-waivers/participating-colleges?excmpid=CBF21-ST-1-fw
https://www.nacacfairs.org/learn/fee-waiver/

UVA does NOT meet 100% of need. They claim to, but that is just not true. If you ask them they will say they meet 100% of need ‘determined by UVA’, which is often incongruent with reality and your ACTUAL need. They used to meet 100% of actual need until they put the clamps down on grants a few years ago. They are loaded with cash but got stingy. William and Mary is even worse. If you are in Virginia, however, the cost should be comparable to other state schools- not bad. The others on your list are considered generous.

That is true of every other school that claims to meet full need. It’s always “need” as determined by the college. Granted, some of these schools tend to be more generous than others.

Here’s another vote for the SUNYs. They may end up in your price range assuming your daughter takes out the federal loan.

Definitely pursue the NCP waiver process. No contact with NCP ever, seems like it may qualify her at some schools.

If you google school name + non custodial waiver you can usually find the right forms online, and look over the requirements and questions asked.

Encourage your daughter to take a free practice ACT and see if that score translates higher also higher standardized test scores= higher scholarships