<p>With your son’s stats, he might be able to get into a private institution, where financial aid is given more readily. Has he considered that?</p>
<p>I have four children, and my husband has three (second marriage for us both).</p>
<p>Both of our first spouses are deceased, so there is no “ex” to help with college costs. No trust funds or anything like that.</p>
<p>As each child reaches the age where they are researching college, we have let them know what we believe our annual budget will be to help them through college. They had to select schools that they were willing to earn whatever they needed to earn to pay the difference. </p>
<p>My son who now attends Stevens IT originally had his heart set on RPI. Our EFC that year was something like $6 or 7 grand. RPI offered him a package where we were expected to pay $27,000 a year. Even a 17-year-old can understand that there is no way he could earn or borrow $20,000 a year when we had $7,000 budgeted.</p>
<p>He is an adult (almost). Spell it out in black and white what you can pay. If you are willing (as in, you don’t feel bullied into it) to cosign on any loans, spell out to him exactly how much you are willing to cosign. </p>
<p>Show him how to use the College Board website:
[::</a> College Planning Made Easy | Inside Source for College Admissions Requirements](<a href=“http://www.collegeboard.com%5D::”>http://www.collegeboard.com)
He can look at the colleges he is interested in and how much financial aid they typically offer.</p>
<p>I know this is hard but you will get through this. Let him make his lists. Let go and you might be surprised in the end that some of your list shows up on his 
I would let him shoot for the moon if he wants to try. If he misses, at least he tried.</p>
<p>BTW, common sense doesn’t kick in until sometime in their mid 20s…</p>
<p>Here is how a local LAC FA officer explained the rule about who files the FAFSA:</p>
<p>If time is equally divided between the 2 households and expenses are split 50/50, then have one parent “buy an extra pair of socks” to make that person the FAFSA filer.</p>
<p>To only apply or wnat to attend one school is foolish,. and that is what I would tell my child. Hopefully the GC will give your son some good advice. Unless that school accepts 100% of all applcants,there is not guarantee he will get in. Even with amazing scores, high gpa, things happen and kids don’t get accepted to their matches.</p>
<p>The reality of the situation is that you will not know how much his first year of college will cost you until you are sitting, in April, with his acceptances and financial aid packages in hand. There are too many forms of tuition discounting, scholarships, etc to know what the end cost will be now. So what to do? Have him apply to a range of schools; the ones you can afford out of pocket with your $ and his summer earnings and contributions, a few that will take extra scholarships etc. for him to afford, a few privates (if he’s interested in them) where his stats put him in the top 25% range. Neither of you has to make a choice about where he goes to college now. The choice happens in April when all cards are on the table. Make sure he realizes that his effort in applying for scholarships, earning money, may affect what his end choices will be. Buy-in is important!</p>
<p>momofhssr2010, you say your son has a good ACT score. How good is good? If it’s good enough, and he has a 3.9 GPA, and we’re talking about UC Boulder, then I’m surprised to hear you say he’s only in the middle of the acceptance range. </p>
<p>Have you asked the financial aid office about outside scholarships? These may require separate applications. Colorado has the Boettcher Scholarship. This is quite competitive (~top 2% of class, 1440 M&CR SATs), but there may be others.</p>
<p>Some private colleges are generous with merit aid as well as need-based aid.</p>
<p>I’m a little confused. Your son is applying for an in-state Public school. Unless he stays home for the first 2 years at a CC, in-state public is about as cheap as college is going to get. So why is this the “expensive” school, and what could he be considering that would be cheaper? (Checked the Univ of Colorado website, in-state tuition/room/board is $20k).</p>
<p>I agree with anxiousmom. It’s too soon to know the financial picture. Tell him he must apply to a range of schools with a range of costs. In April when you know where he got in and what his FinAid packages are, then you make a decision together. You are right to explain to him NOW that you may not be able to send him to UC and he needs to broaden his horizons. But it’s too early to say “absolutely not,” because you don’t have the whole picture yet.</p>
<p>I think community college for the first two years is a great idea. I have a feeling your son may balk at this; he may perceive CC as a punishment, not worthy of a kid with a 3.9, etc. But the fact is he could save thousands of dollars by attending one for two years and have more for his “dream school” (or any other school, for that matter.) </p>
<p>Anyway, I agree with the general consensus; tell him “I can provide $XXXX for college; find something within that price range or ‘find a way’ to make up the difference yourself.” Applying to private colleges that are known for great merit aid is not a bad idea either.</p>
<p>Don’t forget about the other son, either. Do the kids have separate colleges accounts or . . . ? Don’t cave in to your first son’s desire for this expensive school, especially if it would drain out the funds that should really be for son #2.</p>
<p>Congratulations on having this conversation with your son now. Too many parents don’t, or assume that things couldn’t have changed that much from when they went to school (when they could pay their tuition with a part time job.) Then April comes and CC is flooded with posts from parents and kids who are heartbroken because they’ve been accepted to a dream school and have no way to afford it.</p>
<p>Here’s what we’ve done with DD. We’ve told her how much we will be able to pay a year (the amount of our in-state flagship, which is reasonable.) We’ve done our research and found some schools where she has a decent shot at merit aid. We’ve explained that when she gets her offers in, we’ll pay the cost of our flagship and that any difference is up to her. And that we’re not willing to cosign any loans especially if she has free rides sitting on the table (which we know she’ll have 1 or 2 guaranteed.) We’ve also told her that if she takes the free rides, we’ll help her out with grad school.</p>
<p>In addition, I sat her down with some loan calculators. 16 & 17 year old kids don’t know what $60,000 in student loan debt means (well, neither do most adults hence the current financial situation in this country We looked at a couple of scenarios: what “only” $10,000 in loans each year would look like for example, coupled with a mortgage/rent payment and car loan plus insurance and food and clothes. And she got it. </p>
<p>We’ve also told her if we win the lottery, she can apply wherever she wants 
It wasn’t a big shock to her. She’s grown up in a house with a mom who clips coupons and checks price tags on clothing and buys chicken in large quantities when it’s on sale for $1.99/lb and freezes it. So us telling her it was a no go at a $50,000 college unless the scholarship truck backed up to our door; not exactly out of character.</p>
<p>Don’t forget about COF for Colorado and to subtract that from the total, I think it’s over $60 a credit hour right now. But absolutely, the regional state colleges are significantly less than Boulder, Ft. Collins and Mines. It would be smart to insist that your kiddo apply to a variety of schools so that you have a good opportunity for options come spring as, just as an example, Northern Colorado would be close to half he price of Boulder and with a full Stafford would probably be affordable for you.</p>
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<p>Unfortunately, most private schools would count the income and assets of all 4 parents/stepparents. Would be hard in many families to beat that $20K price tag for the in state school.</p>
<p>I think it’s very important that the 4 of you have an open chat with DS to tell him EXACTLY what you will contribute. Then, frankly, he should be on his own to come up with a list unless he asks for your help.</p>
<p>He has reasonable stats for some big merit money at some lower ranked schools and I’d offer to help him identify these schools.</p>
<p>You can pay what you can pay, the only thing left is to clearly communicate it. Sounds like dad is a spoiler, I’d be afraid he will cosign and help get your son into debt he’ll face for years to come…I’d have a private chat with him.</p>
<p>Repeating what was stated earlier: you can do all the research (and you should), but you will not really know what the schools will cost until the acceptances, scholarships, and FA letters are in hand. We were surprised, sometimes quite pleasantly, sometimes not. But the strategy has to be to apply to a variety of schools with a variety of price tags.</p>
<p>momof3boys, I wasn’t aware there was such a large price difference between UC Boulder and the regional colleges. That changes what I wrote earlier. Although I still think the kid should apply to Boulder and see what happens with the FinAid, but he does need to know up front that it might not happen and apply to a range of schools.</p>
<p>(hmom, my post might have confused you, i posted about my son and my H in a post responding to OP son needs common sense. i dont think the op father was a problem except for tax issue, unless i missed something but i do know my H wont cosign) .</p>
<p>The OP said her ex had paid for extras like skiing, but saved zero for college. Who knows, but I’m guessing he’s not the most financially practical guy.</p>
<p>I haven’t checked in lately and was pleasantly surprised by all the excellent responses. My son continues to do nothing… apparently just waiting for the CU Boulder application deadlines and not worried about visiting or applying anywhere else. Yes, common sense is lacking!! So, after re-reading the posts I realize I need to try some more to get my son to look at other, more affordable colleges. Several people questioned how a public school could be expensive. For us, $20,000 a year is a lot. He could go to Adams State - for less than half that amount. And, applying to private schools is a good idea, too.</p>
<p>One other thing… his ACT score is 26 so with a 3.8/3.9 GPA - maybe there would be some merit money available from a private school. I haven’t tried talking to him about that much. And yes, I am making sure to divide my college savings equally between the two boys. I definitely would not give more to one than the other. Although none of this will be an issue with my younger son as he has said he is fine with the idea of going to a local or regional public college.</p>
<p>Yes, you are going to need to do alittle arm twisting I fear. University of Denver is a possibility for some finaid at a private if he has good GPA/good ACT. Also there are quite a few Colorado males in Gunnison along with kids from all 50 states. Ft. Lewis also gets a variety of kids. If he isn’t excited about Adams or Northern, he might take another look at Ft. Lewis and Western both which have quite reasonable costs although they are smaller of course than Boulder or State.</p>