@MomOf3DDs Do you really mean straightening, as in using a product which contains harsh chemicals and takes a considerable amount of time? Or do you just mean washing her hair and drying it by blowing it out with a hairdryer and brush so it’s straighter? The first is offensive. I don’t think the second is. And changing her clothes?
I am white. So was my mom. I have straight hair. My mom thought straight hair was akin to a birth defect. She started giving me those ridiculous Toni perms when I was 3. Hey, I think it was stupid and it certainly made me feel ugly, but obviously my mom wasn’t objecting to my racial background.
And different clothes? My granddaughter’s other grandma buys her very girly clothes with ruffles, etc. and loves putting headbands and bows in her hair. She knows darn well that the child’s mom doesn’t like this sort of thing. She also took a preschooler to get a pedicure. Preschooler was thrilled with the nail polish; mom not so much.
Maybe it’s racist; maybe the grandparents are clueless. I’m honestly not sure what “culturally black” clothes for a little girl means.