<p>Ok so it has to be pretty short, so i figured 200 words would be good (its a TINY space that they give you to write your essay or affix it securely). The topic is to write about an experience you have had, or a person who has influenced you</p>
<pre><code>Oh yeah, I like to eat raw meat. Sometimes Ill just get a bunch ground beef and eat it. Yeah, its really good. Do not be alarmed. That is not a quote from me. This was the first thing I heard from Hossein, the computer tech guy at the Robert Adams CPA firm I worked at over the summer, and it set the stage for an incredible and fun experience. My work there started with things as simple as making spread sheets, but over the summer I became a valuable asset to his company, giving presentations and talking to clients. And although I was making some pretty good scratch, I wasnt in it for the money. The experience I got is invaluable, and has really helped me figure out what the type of career I want. Never have I seen a man work with such passion, honesty, and most importantly integrity. So heres to you, Mr. Adams.
</code></pre>
<p>What do you guys think??</p>
<p>hahaha yes, hossein was absolutely hilarious</p>
<p>its even more funny, because im muslim and i eat beef, but not raw beef :P</p>
<p>haha yeah. we im persian but not a practicing muslim, and he was persian too, but like he wanted to keep it a secret. hilarious dude</p>
<p>i want to say something constructive but i don’t know to say lol </p>
<p>^That’s probably the admission officer’s reaction</p>
<p>the plot thickens, im not a practicing one either facepalm</p>
<p>oh wow, well shuaishuaishuai, its not an admissions essay. It is my essay for the National Merit Scholarship competition. But, if you wish to post such a rude comment, you should notice that i didnt ask for constructive comments, so feel free to say what you dislike about it.</p>
<p>^westhamunited32, that’s not what i meant. the writing is good.
I was trying to think of something to say, but i could not think of any comment, good or bad hehe.</p>
<p>Avoid using slang. “Tech guy” is slang which is why it is quotes, but it should be pretty acceptable. Making good scratch…doesn’t make sense to me… Is that slang? I’m guessing it is. For me, scratch means nothing. Ex: Starting from scratch.</p>
<p>Is the name of the company Robert Adams CPA? Why is it the Robert Adams CPA firm? Do you mean Robert Adams, a CPA firm? Just a little confused. Is it well known? Does the company name have to be mentioned?</p>
<p>Was the quote actually “bunch ground beef” or did you mean “bunch of ground meat?”</p>
<p>Edited version below:</p>
<p>Oh yeah, I like to eat raw meat. Sometimes Ill just get a bunch ground beef and eat it. Yeah, its really good. Do not be alarmed. That is not a quote from me - this was the first thing I heard from Hossein, the “tech guy,” at Robert Adams CPA firm I worked at over the summer, and it set the stage for an incredible and fun experience. My responsibilities started with activities as simple as making spread sheets, but over the summer I gained more and more responsibilities. I delivered presentations and constantly communicated with clients; I had become a valuable asset to the company. Although I was making $/hour, my wage was not my incentive. The experience I received is priceless, and has given me a better direction on choosing my career. Never have I seen a man work with such passion, honesty, and most importantly integrity. So heres to you, Mr. Adams!</p>
<p>Maybe you should be a little specific about how he helped you to figure out your direction in life? It’s a little vague, here.</p>
<p>on the other hand i haven’t even started this bad boy so…</p>