<p>Basically, one of the schools I'm seriously considering is known as a party school, and I'm not a partier. This is not to say I want an anti-social school but getting drunk and wasted isn't my idea of fun. Has anyone's non-partier kid gone to a party school and made it work? Or should I drop the school?</p>
<p>Thanks.</p>
<p>"Known as a party school" and being any more of a party school than some others are not necessarily equal. Best advice is to visit on a Thursday and Friday overnight. That way, you see when the "weekend" begins, see whether you can find kindred spirits etc. I would suggest that, if they have it and you are considering it, opt for the Honors dorm/substance-free dorm/themed dorm for the visit. This would give you the best idea of how those who most closely fit your values on education vs. partying spend their time.</p>
<p>Virtually every school will have 20-30% total abstainers. Having said that, you should know that the majority of folks who think they are not partiers who end up attending party schools end up partying.</p>
<p>It really depends how high the issue is on your priority list relative to other factors. For my d., it turned out to be much more important that I would have thought, and she turned down the school with higher levels of partying for the more toned-down one (there were other reasons, but I was surprised at how important she thought that was.)</p>
<p>Visiting on a Thursday (not Friday) night is a very good idea.</p>
<p>How can you not like to get drunk!!!!!!!</p>
<p>He saw you drunk last weekend and was repulsed......hehehe And you smelled bad.</p>
<p>what I suggest for all of those who like to go party- party one night, but be the designated driver and abstain- its very interesting.</p>
<p>are you recommending self sacrifice for the good of the group??? You mean I cannot party? I have to drink coke and drive the car sober? Can't we get some mom or little brother to do that???</p>
<p>My S has two good friends who are freshmen at "party schools" and in that situation this year. It was a difficult adjustment at first since both of them isolated themselves from the rowdier parties. The only trouble is, that was ALL of them! Pretty soon they started to realize that they were going to have to get past the idea that they had to avoid going to these parties. They still don't drink much if at all( at least that's what they are saying), but now they will go to the parties anyway and have fun. Both were very social, outgoing and popular boys in HS, but there was definitely an us against them mentality in HS on the issue of drinking that (unfortunately) they both had to get past. They seem to have done that and found a great way to balance their own values with their outgoing personalities. It might have been harder on them if they weren't such extroverted and well- liked kids though.</p>
<p>My D, not as ougoing as those kids at the time, transfered out of a school like that--just did not fit in, was not happy.</p>
<p>i have a friend who is very unhappy at penn state - huge party school. but she's very shy in addition to being a non-drinker.. if you're pretty outgoing and just dont like alcohol you should be fine, because then you can join clubs and meet other people like yourself who dont party.
i kinda wonder why people like my friend were attracted to huge party schools though.. penn state was her first choice when i would have expected, i dunno, william&mary or someplace a little calmer. (not, of course, to say that any colleges are "calm" with the exception of very christian schools.)</p>
<p>I think they are attracted because they believe they are leaving their awkward and unhappy lives behind in high school......unfortunately it doesn't work that way.</p>
<p>I have a friend who doesn't drink at all but is attending a school with a large party scene. She's living in substance free housing and loves it. As long as you find people with similar lifestyles, you'll be fine.</p>
<p>For most people, wherever you go, you will find people who share your values and interests. I go to Princeton, a school known for its somewhat elitist "eating clubs," which define the party scene. I loved almost everything about Princeton, but not being fond of either drinking or dancing, was worried about not fitting in.</p>
<p>A semester later, I am still not comfortable with the eating clubs, although I don't think they are as elitist as people claim. However, I am perfectly happy there, both academically and socially, even though I have only been to "the Street" ( Prospect Street, where the clubs are located) once. Many of my friends, both in my sub-free dorm and out of it, are also happier with smaller, more low key social settings. At first, I worried that the high percentage of my friends who had chosen not to take part in the dominant social scene indicated that I was not experiencing "the real Princeton." But then I realized that I had also found "the real Princeton," even if my experience was, because of the type of person I am, different from that of most students. I have friends at Rutgers and Penn State who have had similar experiences.</p>
<p>I have other friends who have become more social than they were in high school, and that is fine, as long as they are responsible. You should also remember that even people who like the party scene don't generally take part every day. Most schools only have two main party nights.</p>
<p>EK4 has a great idea. In fact, it was just such a thing--being the designated driver and thus the only one there who saw how stupid everyone actually acted when drunk--that helped my son to decide not to drink. He is at a well-known "party school," although he attends there for the music school, not the partying. He did, he admits, try out partying for a brief time, found it quite unproductive and not at all conducive to achieving his goals, and gave it up. He soon found other people who don't drink and has made some good friends who enjoy life in other ways.</p>
<p>Yeah, you could feel a bit out of place at first, when it seems like the whole school is drinking and "having fun." But if you keep your eyes and ears open, it won't take long to find compatible people. As long as the school meets your needs in every other way, I wouldn't exclude it from your list just for that reason.</p>
<p>Visiting is a good idea. Just make sure that you are too overly influenced by your host's behavior -- obviously, you won't be hanging with him/her when you actually get there. Try to look around at what other kids are doing - even if it means wandering off on your own a bit at night.</p>
<p>There's a degree of partying and people not being into it nearly everywhere. The comment on substance free housing is important if you realize you want to go to a school with a reputation for partying.</p>
<p>Funny thing is, my S goes to a school famous for being deadly serious, but wound up on the party floor of the party dorm across the street from the frat houses that have noisy parties into the wee hours.</p>
<p>He's adapting, slowly, but he would have been happier if he had gotten into a more serious setting.</p>