<p>The NCPS is the most disgusting and ridiculous part of the process, and whoever thought of it should be forced to dig up all HIS bad memories of the past, and his mother's bad memories of the past. ****head.</p>
<p>Word.</p>
<p>It's such a pain. I do sort of understand why it's required, though I wish they made it easier to get out of for people like us.</p>
<p>It's absolutely horrible I agree. The colleges are putting my family through so much trouble just so we can think about a bad situation. It's just awful.</p>
<p>My mom got a divorce in 2000. The <strong><em>er was the most irresponsible pathological liar ever, and the court ordered his wages garnished by the state and awarded child support. If I get in UChicago and get no FinAid because that child support proves "Contact" I'm going to *</em></strong> a ***ing brick</p>
<p>I filed a request to not file the NCP thing, because I don't know my ex's address, work info, or anything else. The custody agreement does not stipulate to any college money, and ex pretty much said to me before he'd never pay a cent for it. Son and ex aren't on speaking terms, haven't been since son moved to CA to live with me. I have an email address for my ex, but he's exceedingly uncooperative. The only financial info I have for him is the financial statement he filed during custody stuff 3 years ago. </p>
<p>Has anyone else ever appealed filing NCP statement?</p>
<p>My mom's ex did not file for custody and moved out of state once the divorce was final. I do not believe this man is CAPABLE of filling out the form, even if I were to hunt him down and assure him that he would have to pay no money. He racked up over $13,000 in parking tickets (that started as about $3,000 until it got turned over to collections) and made a huge elaborate story about the Police in this small town that were **<em>ing with him and other employees - but he was just parking in front of his work building illegally so he didn't have to walk 2 blocks. @#(&</em>#@($&@#</p>
<p>yea well its a major pain no matter how the noncustodial parent is... all my family except one of my parents is in china. man applying to private skool sux</p>
<p>I'm gonna get one of those forms soon... what do you do if the noncustodial parent is unknown? and dead?</p>
<p>you have to have a letter from:
1) your custodial parent
2) a DISINTERESTED third party that is NOT an attorney (no family here... priest, rabbi, imam, guidance counselor, psychiatrist/ologist,e tc)</p>
<p>
[quote]
The custody agreement does not stipulate to any college money, and ex pretty much said to me before he'd never pay a cent for it.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>First of all I am so sorry to read about people having such bad situations with their NCP.</p>
<p>I am sorry to say that colleges really do not care about custody agreements and and stipulations in your divorce deree when it comes to awarding financial aid.</p>
<p>While some people have gone through some really bad situations with their ex's in the college eyes they still believe first and formost that both of the students parents are the first step in paying for thier child's education. When this premise is not followed you are essentially saying "let some one elses parents pay for my child's education " (remember the money that builds up the endowments comes from other people's parents).</p>
<p>If you are receiving child support, the school looks at is as contact because the parent can go back to the child support agency (who does know where the ncp is , or atleast where their income stream comes from).</p>
<p>It is becoming more difficult to get a NCP waiver because for every kid that is truly having a horrible time and do not know how to locate the parent, there is another family looking to get over on the system and is getting money under the table because to list both of them on the FA forms would place them in "the middle class squeeze" of being to rich for FA and too poor to pay and large EFC. there was a few years ago there was a poster on the boards who lived in a single family household on welfare, working to help her family out, while NCP was making 90,000 per year and not contributing a cent to the family because he kept dodging the support papers.</p>
<p>I would definitely suggest reading this thread, Single Parents Seeking Financial Aid - one mother's story and searching this forum for non custodial parents to read the stories of others who have been there, done that, so you don't set your self up in the process.</p>
<p>good luck in the process.</p>
<p>My mom is REMARRIED. We are already in the middle class squeeze and I accept that. It is disgusting to think that because of a piece of **** like my mom's ex, my mom and step-dad aren't enough for UChicago/Northwestern to consider as "parents" - that ******* is, and I get the 45,000 a year bill.</p>
<p>You mention that if a parent is getting child support, then they can get information about the NCP. Well, I've actually had problems with this, because it's an interstate claim. When my ex was refusing to pay child support, I went to my county agency and asked for help. They contact the NCP's home state, which created a claim with the originating county there. Now, according to this process, the parties involved in the child support process are 1. The NCP. 2. The NCP's county/state, and 3. My county. I am not, according to the other state, a party to the claim any more. My NCP pays money to his state, and they send it to this state. My state then decides to give the money to me. </p>
<p>I am not entitled to any input or information. The states have actually lost 3 months of the support, but I am not allowed to pursue collection of it, because I am "not a party to the claim". I have to wait for my state to decide to pursue it with his state. In the meantime, when I contact my state, they say that I don't need the info, because I'm not a party to the claim. The other state has actually HUNG UP ON ME before, because I am not a party to the claim, and it violates privacy laws to talk to me about it. If I ask the other state for contact information, I am told that I am not entitled to that private information, as it is only for parties directly involved in the child support claim. </p>
<p>Yes, I am not allowed to be given information regarding the child support that is paid to me, because the support claim does not actually <em>involve</em> me, now that it's interstate. </p>
<p>As far as NCP FAFSA issues, I contacted the one school involved directly and they said that if they needed more than the statement on the FAFSA, they'd contact me. My son has documented with the school his relationship with the NCP. </p>
<p>I think that part of the positive thing is that we've been so upfront with them about it, and it's clear that it's not that the NCP has money and we're trying to avoid him paying -- it's that he's unemployed and has no assets, is a deadbeat dad, <em>and</em> isn't ever going to come into any money. We just can't prove it with tax docs, because we have no way of getting them from him. As I mentioned above, the state(s) have said that the schools (or FAFSA folks) will have to contact them <em>directly</em> for any contact info, as I'm not...a party to the claim.</p>
<p>Oof, remarriage. I have a partner of 6 years, but I won't ever marry him as long as my children are in college. He is much more financially responsible than I have ever been able to be (because I had a far lower income and children), with savings and retirement money of his own. He chose for himself not have children, and we were up front in agreeing that he would not be financially responsible for my children. As I'm sure you all know, if were were married, his income and his assets (which he saved before he ever met me) would be called into play for financial aid aps.</p>
<p>TrinSF,</p>
<p>I think that you handled the situation very well as the key to manuevering the college process is information and making your self knowledgeable before you are in the middle of the admissions/application process. Good luck and I hope that everything works out.</p>
<p>This means knowing up front how your prospective schools deals with ncp's and what it takes to get a waiver. Some schools are very upfront in the fact that they will not take into consideration when a parent whether custodial or noncustodial says about not paying for college or only paying a set amount, they are not adjusting the FA (leaving the student between a rock and a hard place.</p>
<p>It is also important not to wait unitl senior year to have these conversations with your child and your NCP. some NCPs do not want to give the college the information because they think the college is going to pass it on the custodial parent (or think if the custodial parent does the math) they can figure out how much money the NCP actually makes and drag them back into court. Colleges do not share information about the NCP (if you don't want your child to know your financial picture, they won't share the info with them either).</p>
<p>Those who are a going on tours, and talking to admissions and FA officers, when they give their talk track, don't be afraid to ask up front about NCPs.</p>
<p>Oh, there's no conversation with the NCP to be had. He and son haven't seen or spoken one word to each other in over 3 years -- they fell out over son asking to change custody. NCP is on record saying he won't have any contact with me, no matter what the courts or states ask. If I am lucky, I can get him to respond to email with one or two word answers every now and then, in response to direct questions about his intention to exercise visitation. ("No.")</p>
<p>Son's application essays have included his writing about going to court to get himself and his sister out of that abusive household, and I've documented the papertrail of ex's refusal to communicate or provide information. But as far as working it out with the NCP, if he can't be bothered to acknowledge me any other time, and tells people he doesn't have a son any more, I don't hold out much hope for him cooperating about college.</p>
<p>This still sucks.</p>
<p>Well, TrinSF, I don't know whether this is better or worse, but my ex is also a "deadbeat" who chronically says he is "broke", is currently a year behind in child support, and I can't remember the last time he bought a birthday present for either of my kids. The problem is that he also lives near by, is self-employed, and has a cordial relationship with the kids and frequent contact. So we don't have any sob story to tell the colleges - just a parent out there with financials that look like he ought to be contributing something, who either can't or won't. His own finances are such a mess that I've long since given up trying to collect money from him. </p>
<p>So my problem is: ex will cooperate and provide forms to my d's college. College will follow a mysterious process and figure out what he is supposed to contribute, but won't tell me what that number is, as that part is "confidential". Since he is self-employed, income may fluctuate wildly from year to year -- in good years, my ex will use the excess to pay off his personal debts from the bad years, but the college won't care. In any case, ex still won't give me or d. any money. </p>
<p>I'm glad that my kids are on friendly terms with their dad and they never had to go through the trauma of dealing with parents fighting over custody or their dad treating them in an abusive way. That's probably worth more than any monetary value I can assign. My kids see things with clear eyes: they love their dad, but realize that he is a flake when it comes to money and they don't expect anything from him other than love & friendship. </p>
<p>But it sure doesn't help anything when it comes to college finances. I just have to make do with what I've got and hope for the best. At least I've got good credit and am eligible to borrow needed funds - something that wouldn't be the case if I were still married to him.</p>
<p>My dad abandoned my family 5 years ago and when I filed for fin aid using the CSS Profile I too had the problem of having the Non Custodial Form waived.</p>
<p>For anyone doing this next year this is how I got it waived at my schools:</p>
<p>Most schools seemed very concerned with proving that there is no contact so I had my mom's lawyer, my guidance counselor, and my mom all write letters highlighting the fact that my father and I have had no contact.
This, however, still wasn't enough at some schools. I had to send copies of my parent's divorce agreement and had to go to meetings at a few schools.</p>
<p>The most important thing is to be persistent.
I mean, the struggle to get it all done enveloped a few months this year but if you keep bugging people and being as accomodating as possible to yuor fin aid. officers you can get it done.</p>
<p>Also, make sure to call the offices after sending documents to find out what documents they have and whether or not they need anything else.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>"The most important thing is to be persistent.
I mean, the struggle to get it all done enveloped a few months this year but if you keep bugging people and being as accomodating as possible to yuor fin aid. officers you can get it done."</p>
<p>I could not agree with you more. To add something, all the waivers will probably go through a committee, which really just means the director of financial aid. I kept calling one school, and kept saying it'll be out of committee two days from now for about 2 weeks. It turns out they were saying that to just get me to hang up. If you can, you need to talk to the head honcho to expedite the process.</p>
<p>Sigh. F* the PROFILE.</p>