Not getting financial help from parents

Paying for College
21

Your parents can make any decisions they like concerning their retirement, but just like other financial decisions it will affect their (and your) ability to by things, including a college education. Schools won’t care that they spent all their money on private schools and didn’t save any for college.

Are you asking if your situation will be considered special because your parents don’t want to pay for your education? It won’t. Will you get money from some schools? I don’t think so unless your gpa and scores are high enough for merit aid. Your need based aid will be determined by your parents’ income and savings at the time you apply, but need based aid usually doesn’t cover the cost of attending a school.

22

@twoinanddone I know colleges could care less about my situation, I just was asking on what I should do in terms of things like student loans or certain colleges.

23

are you boarders at your schools?

Seriously, this private school money could easily be saved for college costs.

24

@Alfonsia My parents weren’t really looking ahead when they sent 3 children to prep school and planned on putting us all through college as well. Also my town’s school is ok at best, way too much drug influence and no one takes their education seriously there and people who graduate from there do not really go far in life as I’ve noticed.

25

This seems like a no brainer. Go to public school and you have 90k to spend on college.

26

You can go to a community college for two years, transfer, and have a degree from a university. Better than going into huge debt for most people.

27

@thumper1 No we do not board

28

You are smart to plan. If your parents follow through and provide no money for you for college, have alternatives. Community college is a good plan, or finding schools you will get merit from, knowing about loans and what it will mean if you do take them out.

I do realize you can ask your parents to redirect the money they are paying for private school now to college, but it is their choice about whether to do that or not. They may just be ‘threatening’ you now so that you are motivated to look for merit money and make wise financial decisions. You many need to show them all the research you do, what scholarships you applied for, why you want to go to a specific school, how a small private school may cost less than UConn. Work with your guidance counselor on a plan.

29

@gsavino You cannot take out the loans needed for college. Your parents would have to. You need to try and save next year’s money if there is to be any hope for a regular college. Can you go to a charter school, get your GED or pay to go to a neighboring public HS or suffer for oe year at your HS.

30

@16gsavino we paid for Catholic HS for our 2 DDs; the most expensive private HS in our area had tuition almost double ours. However there are some key reasons we wanted them to go to this school. As it turns out, their GPA and their ACT/SAT (for them it was ACT) got them good scholarships at in-state. So essentially the money spent helped earn them as much/more in scholarships in college.

No one can take away the academic abilities you have, based on your foundation of education.

If your GPA is 3.0 un-weighted, what is it weighted? How have you done on ACT/SAT?

So you are soon to be a senior - so is it important for you to finish at this private HS, or will your parents re-direct the $$ towards your college?

What do you want to study in college, and what have your researched? Have you done any college visits and do you have an idea on the colleges that would suit you well?

Your study skills and the knowledge base you have will serve you well. My two have made the transition to college and are in good academic standing - should have no difficulty keeping their college scholarships.

We would not consider OOS or private universities because we had a good deal with in-state scholarships in their chosen career fields. We also had an in-town college (so they could have saved room and board) but the scholarships and our financial standing allowed them to go to the better option for them (one is at state flagship, the other is studying nursing at the large medical university).

H and I are both 58, and our students are college freshman and junior. I do understand about how your parents are ‘older’ than most classmates’ parents. I was in college with an only child who was born when her parents were 40 - which back then was considered very old parents. They were in their 60’s when she was in college and they were very protective of her. They also thought of themselves as ‘old’ - both had gray/white hair.

Maybe some of what your parents are saying is greatly affected by your HS senior brother’s lack of motivation, which may or may not be tied to his ADD/ADHD.

Just continue to do your best in school, and explore your options. If you have to deal within a tight budget for college, it sounds like you can discuss options with your parents.

Even though your oldest brother, 32, is ‘not part of this discussion’, maybe he can give you some insight on some college options, and perhaps how to work things out with your parents. Since he is not in HS/College like your other two brothers, he may have some older brotherly love to help ‘mentor’ you.

As the only daughter in the family, and the youngest, perhaps you are feeling like your parents do not have the energy/interest in you as your older siblings, and maybe a little of it that you are not as big a priority as your other siblings. You may feel that way, and it may not be the case. Or your parents may not realize how some favoritism is being played out. My dad always wanted to have us 5 treated the same, but two were my mom’s favorites and two were my dad’s - I wasn’t in favor or dis-favor. I probably had the least emotional baggage out of the 5. Perhaps once you are away at college you can move away from any family drama.

Good luck!

31

Here is my suggestion. Discuss the finances with your parents. Tell them very clearly that you would rather save that $41,000 of costs for private school (for your senior year), and use them for college. My guess is they won’t be thrilled with that idea. They have spent a fortune on private school for you, and likely exoect a diploma from that school.

But be clear. Tell them that right now, college costs are looming…and you need that money for college. And ask them where they hope ypu will be going to college.

Go to the websites of CT public universities. Print out the costs of those…so they know what they are.

You can also get costs for community colleges. You will need a car for those, and your parents will need to agree to have you living at home.

In other words, calmly discuss your post high school future. See what they say.

32

@16gsavino I could be wrong but it seems as though your parents are not unfair, they simply did not plan well financially and cannot afford 9 years of college and 3 years of private HS before retirement resulting in a situation that is very, very unlucky for you. If you had 10k a year in a college fund that could make all the difference in the world for going to a college. You could then take 5500, 6500, 7500 and 7500 in loans. YOU should not take more than that as you will have trouble pay it off. With summer job you should be able to pay for a college somewhere (not a 60k LAC). You need to talk to your parents, even with the nuclear option of stopping your current school, finding another option and saving the money. Plenty of public school kids have great stats and get great scholarships. Your parents may not have planned well for retirement or have a lot of debt so be very careful with the last money coming your way.

33

@gearmom. Just a guess. The parents are 60 and 52. If they are retiring “soon” my guess is they have their retirement well funded and planned out. Otherwise, they would do what many other “older folks” do…continue to work. At 52, the mom has 14 years until age 66 when she would be eligible for full SS benefits.

The parents made a decision to fund private prep schools for two of the kids. It sounds like this was imoortant and essential for the brother at Forman. I’m am flummoxed, however. I wonder why the parents are paying the full bull if this is a necessary special education placement. I know Forman works with families, and public school districts. If this is an essential placement, the local education agency should have at least considered it. Then again…maybe this was a choice as well…and is working better for the student than the public school was.

There are families in this area who feel that prep school is THE only way to go.

But if finances are a serious consideration, perhaps this needs to be reconsidered now…especially if the parents choose to retire early.

34

@thumper The dad is not planning on retiring early. OP stated 66. I am not seeing evidence of careful financial planning with no college savings. Who knows what has been saved and what is owed. They seem to love and have wanted to do the best for the kids but perhaps this put them is a bad situation. And like many people their investments could have been hit a few years ago. Prep school might have seemed the only way but what are you prepping them for if there is no money for college.

35

Hopefully OP has researched and discussed with parents. Some good comments on looking at the information given. The parents may have also been thinking, pay through next year for HS, and then we are done with paying for school. This seems a bit short sighted, but something not revealed that OP may not know may be driving this.

36

My recommendation is to get really good grades, study for the SAT and/or ACT, do well on that, apply to colleges where you will get merit aid. There are full tuition scholarships listed on a pinned thread in this forum. Good luck.

37

Who are we to criticize other parents decision to spend a lot on prep school? The school district they live in may not be up to snuff or OP may have needed a special environment.

The parents might just be trying to shake OP’s clear sense of entitlement a little. It is none of her business that they pay more for another sibling’s schooling, particularly when he has learning challenges. They have the right to spend their own money as they see fit. They only have to educate her until she turns 18. A 3.0 is not especially deserving of an expensive college IMO.

38

@gearmom. I didn’t say they had college savings…I said they had a secure retirement plan. Two different things.

To retire even at ages 66 and 58, they would need a firm retirement plan…with some way to pay their bills.

Perhaps one thing that is making this retirement possible for both of these parents is to ditch the over $150,000 a year they are paying for prep schools and colleges.

This student needs to seriously discuss her senior year with her parents. If she can attend a public high school…she could have $41,000 to use towards her college costs.

And I agree…prep school for what?? If they didn’t plan to help with college costs. This family has chosen to pay four years of prep school money for this student…when really…if their plan had been to cut the kid off after high school, the money could have been saved for college costs…with free public high school.

39

OP, I agree with those who are saying go to a public school! With 2 years of saved tuition money, you will have $80,000+ for saved for college!! And, if you go to Community College for the first 2 years, you will save costs and have a nice amount for your last two years. If you go to an in-state public college for your last 2 years, you will minimize your costs. UConn, for instance, has a total cost of attendance for instate students of ~30,000. With careful planning, that saved tuition money from the last two years of high school could pay for all (or the majority) of your college costs.

40

I think the savings would only be for one year. I think the poster is a junior now.

BUT to the OP, if you seriously approach your parents with a plan to,attend the local high school for your senior year, this will ar least spark,a discussion with your parents…who likely will not want you to do this.

But be clear…you need the money for college…you don’t NEED the money for HS.