Not going to high school?

Parents Forum
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<p>I went to a middle college program (kind of a mix of high school and community college) and there was almost no bullying or the other junk that most high school students have to deal with. I was actually happy to go to school in the morning, while my friends at the local "normal" high school had their souls crushed out of them.</p>

<p>Regular high schools may be right for some, but I do not want to send my kids to one. Thought about homeschooling but not sure that would be the best option. What are alternatives to sending your kids to a regular high school?</p>

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<p>My son goes to a small Catholic high school (and we’re not even Catholic) with an enrollment of about 200. They keep a very tight rein on things. They have almost no serious discipline problems, and my S says the kids themselves would not tolerate a bully. I don’t know if this is typical of Catholic schools, or whether it would be different at a big Catholic school.</p>

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<p>Same here as Annasdad. Our kids go to a small school, of about 300, and they’ve developed a culture where really there hasn’t been any sense of discipline issues, bullying, icky HS stuff (and mine are pretty nerdy so they’d be, I think, more likely to be on the receiving end of mistreatment if it was there). They have their ‘groups’ but without the animosity or hierarchical division between groups that I recall from my HS days. And I’d say around 11th grade even those boundaries disappeared. </p>

<p>I think it very much depends upon the school culture. But the challenge is finding such a school. Maybe a small environment helps? Or a more traditional environment?</p>

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<p>Check out the local high schools in your area. See what the currculum would be like for your children. Things may have improved since your day. I don’t see how Catholic schools would be less crippling or stifling of souls when a single party line needs to be followed. Students can be just as cliquish et al there as seen in our area. Conforming to a set standard would “crush the soul” out of my kid. At his public school they were able to discuss/complain about what they considered unfair time use by a teacher with administration (she brought in a creationist scientist for a short talk in AP economics that took a whole class period as students questioned him and contradicted his views- democracy alive and well in the public schools) - resulting in a negative something or other for the teacher.</p>

<p>Think very hard before you attempt to homeschool. No person can be well versed in all fields. Are you an English teacher with the qualifications to seriously critque HS writing? If so- are you equally adept at math and science? Discussing opposing views of history? Physical education- learning about sports, not just exercise? Music performance with a group. Clubs. Being with other students and hearing their diverse ideas. School plays…</p>

<p>How have your children done with their elementary and middle schools? Have they learned to handle themselves in groups? Do they want to go or not go to a given school? Are you worried unnecessarily because of your own experience and perceptions? Most normal HS kids don’t see bullying. Read books about how to bully proof your child- they will need these skills as adults.</p>

<p>Two public school incidents. A neighbor kid was bullied once in middle school between classes(a tough age group). He told his mother who talked to the school- the next day there were teachers very visible in the halls during passing and the problem resolved- students didn’t know how things happened but behaviors were corrected. Son was a young freshman (12, almost 13) in cross country. Practice ended at the same time and school entrance as football practice. Some of the older football players found out his age and teased/taunted him. He told me later he had the turned the talk into jokes on himself- problem solved and he got their respect. He never needed to involve grownups because he was able to deflect any possible bullying. btw- the CC team got respect- 120 boys and girls (equally divided) who went to state 3 times while son was there.</p>

<p>Behaviors that were tolerated a generation ago are no longer tolerated. Diversity is now taught as a good thing. Do find out the real story about your local schools from other parents with students currently attending them.</p>

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<p>Are your kids “too good” for high school? Maybe I’m not good enough for anything else, but so far, high school has been great for me. As far as I can tell, there hasn’t been any “bullying” issues (or not any more than the supposed bully-free environment of the aforementioned schools) or the like. I’ve even had two teachers with PhDs teach me. I’m attending community college too now and I find that it’s way inferior to anything I’ve done sine the 9th grade.</p>

<p>You can always send your kids to a $15,000/year prep like many other parents here on CC. I have some friends who go to those kinds of schools, and they love it.</p>

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<p>OP, most schools take bullying very seriously now. It’s completely different than when we were in school.</p>

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<p>I never meant to sound condescending or “too good” for anything. I’m a teen dad barely graduating high school (I am flattered at the assumptions of my age though) to head off to a four year university, and my son is only 6 months old (which is early to be thinking about high school). </p>

<p>The high school I went to was a public one funded by the Gates Foundation to help disadvantaged high-achieving students get a good education. At my ‘early college hs’ I took ap and honors classes, and community college courses. Every school is different but I found the classes to be rewarding. It was a small school and honestly there was almost no bullying or drama. </p>

<p>My son’s mother went to a small catholic school for elementary and junior high with a similar friendly community, but the middle school I went to was small and even worse than the local high school. I’m not sure how much size is a factor, but maybe smaller schools have a higher chance of having less “rotten apples” though my ms was full of them. It wasn’t as much physical in middle school for me as it was mental, how much the “cool” kids tortured you daily. And those were the same brats who went to the regular high school. </p>

<p>What I meant by bullying is not so much a big kid pushing a little kid, but the whole hierarchical clique-ish thing. . . My local high school was a typical suburban one, with the jocks and cheerleaders on top, then groups like stoners, with nerds at the bottom. EVERYONE was “bullied” everyday. The place was set up like a prison and most of my friends that went there became very “fake” and complained about the school all the time and talked trash about everyone. </p>

<p>If I went there, it would be 4 more years of the same crap I put up with in middle school. But, some kids could handle the mindgames and gossip and were fine there. I never want my son to go thought that. I find those mindgames pointless and useless. I feel like I grew more at the school I went to than I ever would have at the regular school (but again, they had advanced classes there and some people were fine).</p>

<p>From what I understand its not just my area, high schools all over are usually hierarchical. I probably won’t live in this area when its time for my child to go off to hs, so I’m just concerned on finding a schools with positive kids like the one me and his mother went to when the time comes.</p>

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<p>Persevering, are you the poster who also posted as Babyontheway?</p>

<p>I have to be honest. If you’re an unmarried teen dad with a 6 month old, you have concerns and issues that are FAR more pressing than where the kid winds up in high school. That decision can wait. I would also comment that while bullying is obviously something that needs to be taken seriously, the more presence of groups like jocks, cheerleaders, etc. isn’t problematic – as long as people are generally decent to one another, those social groupings / hierarchies only have the power that you ascribe to them.</p>

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<p>I have no idea what the situation is at other Catholic schools, but at DS14’s school, there’s not “a single party line [that] needs to be followed,” with the one exception of the position on abortion. (I’m not commenting on whether I agree with that or not!) </p>

<p>I was interested last year when they studied world history as to how they would handle the Reformation. It was very even-handed, talked about the abuses in the 16th century Roman Catholic church, and treated Martin Luther and John Calvin as historical figures, not as the devils incarnate. My S said that some of his classmates tended to go a bit overboard in defending Catholicism, but that the teacher did not.</p>

<p>They are required to take four years of religion and attend Mass once a month, but my non-Catholic, somewhat Lutheran son doesn’t mind that. He says he can learn what the Catholic position is without necessarily buying into it. I can see this might be a deal-killer for someone who is a committed atheist or has strong doctrinal views opposed to Catholicism; DD12, for example, says she could never go there and stomach the religion. OTOH, perhaps it does teach a non-Catholic about respect for the views of others.</p>

<p>As far as conforming to a “set standard,” there are rules about haircuts, body piercings, and tattoos, there’s a moderately strict dress code, and there are random drug tests. There is also an expectation about respect for others that goes way beyond the practice in any public HS I’ve ever seen. I consider those good things. </p>

<p>The very best part, from the perspective of this parent, is the attitude of the faculty and staff, when I compare it to our local public HS (which is even smaller than the Catholic school, which is in a nearby, larger community and serves the entire county). There is a sense of mission, of loving concern for their students, that is not present in the public school. The teachers are there because they want to be there, and they really go the extra mile in working with students.</p>

<p>Catholic schools are not for everyone, and to repeat, I don’t know how generalizable our experience at this one abnormally small school in a mid-sized farming community is to the large Catholic schools in city or suburban locations. But our dear son is blessed to have the opportunity, and so are we.</p>

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<p>I agree with PG that at this stage of your life you have bigger fish to fry than worrying about high school for a 6 month old child. Instead of looking at 13-14 years in the future, you need to deal with the here and now. </p>

<p>My concern is how are you going to provide financial, social and emotional support your child while you are headed off to college? </p>

<p>Even if your parents are taking up the slack financially and will be paying child support while you are off to school, I think that your “off to college” train has left the station. Perhaps your parents should make you Man Up and take care of your responsibilities, which IMHO means considering going to school locally and help in the raising of your child.</p>

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<p>Whoa…is this OP a 16 year old high school student with a baby? If so…lots to consider before thinking about high school for HIS kid.</p>

<p>In any event…when the time comes…don’t project YOUR feelings from your high school onto your kids. It may very well be that the school in your area is very good and your kids WANT to go there…and will get a fine education.</p>