I apologize for the long paragraphs!
Hi everyone, I am currently a freshman at University of Missouri. My hometown is in the Chicago suburbs. I decided to come here because of the journalism school. I’m not exactly sure if that’s what I want to major in, but it’s definitely my top choice for a major right now. I’m also considering nutrition. Ever since move-in day (last August) I have felt as if I should be happier with my decision. I just don’t feel happy here. I feel as if I don’t fit in. The campus feels as if it’s run by the greek system, which is unfortunate for me because I have absolutely no interest in it. I’m not much of a partier, either. I feel like an outsider here because I’m not into getting drunk every weekend, or every night if I’m talking about my roommates. Ive been here almost for a semester and a half, but I don’t feel happy about my decision. I have made a few friends, but I wouldn’t call them great friends. I am constantly thinking about home. Most college kids were excited to come back for spring semester, but I dreaded it.
I also have some stuff going on back at home that is always on my mind. My grandmother has been dealing with cancer since this past summer, and it’s really taking a toll on me. I came back home a couple weekends to be with my family and visit her in the nursing home. On top of that, a couple weeks ago my grandpa fell in his garage and broke his ankle/tore all the tendons, so now he has to be taken care of for a couple of months. It’s really frustrating knowing that I can’t be there to help them and support them. It’s a rough time for my family.
When I was originally looking at colleges senior year in hs, I was looking at in-state schools too and a couple of them were in the city. I keep thinking about what it would be like if I decided to go to a college in the city. I have always dreamed of living and studying in the city, but at the time I felt like I needed to leave Illinois and have a different experience. But now all I can think about is being back in the city. I honestly don’t believe the traditional college lifestyle is for me. I’m not a fan of all the partying on the weekends (which I know 99% of colleges have), but the partying scene at Mizzou is just too much for me. I’d much rather hang with a couple friends somewhere outside of campus, but unfortunately that’s not possible here (I don’t have a car). There’s not much to do here on the weekends, except for parties at frats or apartments. I understand that that’s basically like any other college, but it’s much bigger here.
I am really nervous about telling my parents how I feel, but I think it’d be best for them to know how I am feeling. It stinks feeling like you made the wrong decision. If anyone has any input or advice that’d be great. Thanks for reading my rant!
