not so great wellesley social event.....

<p>@ChocoChipMom - The key of the offended is they make it up as they go along, so they are in a self-perpetuating business. It is rather fun to watch, as it is impossible to take seriously. </p>

<p>Making an informed decision is the goal of the process and the social is just one piece of the puzzle. Also remember, the social is not the school (pretty sure someone else said that too). I had a great time at Wellesley parties and, in return, hosting Wellesley women, so nothing negative from me to report. </p>

<p>Going to any college is really like going to a zoo - you visit the animals you want, and it is easy avoid the animals that do not interest you, as they clump together very obviously anyway. However, the fun part is there are all sorts of animals. </p>

<p>FWIW, I thought cpt’s post was out of line. </p>

<p>I have daughters but none at W. </p>

<p>That said, I think that often in these types of events people present poorly because they are nervous and/or reaching for things to chit chat about. I, for example, am prone to babbling when anxious. The main thing those parents had in common were the children in the room who were admitted to W. Likewise the girls. Thus, I would guess, that is what most tended to discuss. That, or trying to find “their” place, some context…“Oh I know kids from that school!” etc. Trying to determine, like your daughter, if these girls are her “people” or not. </p>

<p>It may have been bragging or it may have been trying to fit it or it may have been something else. Even the young lady who made her mom cry, what would we say to her if we knew her or she came here to post and said “I was under such strain and we fought all day about what I should wear and I know I was crabby…but I made my mom cry. I feel so bad.” It happens. </p>

<p>hey, for some reason I can’t get this thread out of my head and wanted to reply…maybe because your kid sounds like my kid…so I can empathize (i.e. we toured Harvard in March just for the comedic value). I’d go with my gut on this one…do the overnight visit (smart idea!) but if your D continues to get odd feelings, I’d skip the school. I know i’m making that seem like a casual resolution to a huge decision…but I wouldn’t ignore the gut vibe on this…your D sounds very smart and likely has several other good choices. </p>

<p>I agree. Don’t force yourself to like a school if something rubs you the wrong way. It’s not as though Wellesley is the only game in town. </p>

<p>@ChocoChipMom‌ I also should add that your daughter is going to find similar girls doing activities that she enjoys. </p>

<p>One of the problems with the overnight stays (at any college) is that you’re only hanging out with the kids whose extracurricular activity is admissions. I remember completely dismissing MIT after my host (dressed in an adult onsie - I kid you not) jumped up and down on her bed, squealing in delight for about 15 awkward minutes. I erroneously concluded that everyone at MIT was either autistic or insane. Ironically, while attending Wellesley, I took many classes at MIT and actually had many lovely MIT friends (the onesie girl did not accurately represent MIT).</p>

<p>If your daughter has specific, defining interests - be they academic, athletic, artistic - I recommend that she seek out those students on her campus visit by requesting specific classes, and seeking out areas where she thinks people with her interests congregate. It requires being a bit proactive but she’ll get a better sense of any school she visits.</p>

<p>^^ That is correct. Overnights are limited by the peer group, which is chosen to host you, so even then need to have eyes a little wider open. Because if paired with an avid chess player and you like checkers, it could be an odd experience. </p>

<p>One of the things my kids did was separate out and explore on their own and meet people without the hoster. For example, they went to the gym and worked out and went to the snack bar by themselves and even went to eat one time by themselves by just picking a table and asking to join and saying they are pre-frosh. They also chose classes to visit, which the hoster was not in. </p>

<p>My kids’ approach was slightly different than seeking out kids that did activities that they liked. They had met those kids already on day visits, and their goal was to get a general sense of the entire place. </p>

<p>If you think about it, this is no different than what happens freshman week, and it is more realistic than a hoster being present all the time. </p>

<p>Now, all girl school situation may be different. My kids are boys, and their hosters were more than happy to get rid of them for hours. And my boys were glad to be gone for hours. That might be a guy thing though. Adjust as required.</p>

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<p>You probably haven’t seen how behind the scenes admissions is scrambling to find enough hosts – believe me, most of the hosts don’t have admissions as an “EC” and have been arm twisted into taking time out of their busy schedules to host a student. I think my kids got a very good view of life on campus and typical students in their accepted student visits. I do agree that separating from your host for part of the time is important, but a well-run accepted student session will encourage that. I agree with those who say she should go with her gut instincts, and if things don’t go well at SOC she does have other choices. Her basic premise for falling in love with Wellesley (a fiction book) might just be bumping up against a different reality – and she has time to consider her other options if she decides it isn’t right for her. Not every school is right for every kid, even if they do get admitted.</p>

<p>^^ I agree. It is a rather bash process re admissions sends out an email, which basically offers kids $25 a night to host. My son gets them every so often. It pretty much is a blanket mass email, at least at his school. Hosting depends on whom answers the email, so it is possible to get someone completely opposite you.</p>

<p>Look, its all-girls, so you will forever have to endure girl drama. This is the problem with all-girls schools. There couldn’t be a less diverse place than an all-girls school unless it is Tuskegee or Fisk or Howard or some historically black school. You really do have to snark a bit when any of these schools talk about their “diversity.” In the case of Wellesley, 1/2 the planet fails to meet the diversity standard and, because I am politically correct, I won’t comment on my other obvious example. My point: its all GIRLS!! Girls are generally pretty awful to one another; guys, far less so.</p>

<p>Do you go to Wellesley or another all-women’s college, makennacompton? I don’t, but my daughter does, and she does not report “all girl drama.” </p>

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<p>What a tired cliche, akin to the idea that boys generally are knuckle-dragging drunk potential date rapists. I would tend to listen to those who actually know the school. Some co-ed colleges where girls compete socially for male attention have a lot more “girl drama” IMHO. And if you want real diversity in a school, go to a community college. No expensive or elite private of any stripe is diverse by comparison.</p>

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<p>Wellesley students who host prospies are not paid. My D and her roommate have done it (not the OP’s daughter, she has not done it this spring).</p>

<p>^^ I never said Wellesley students are paid. My post clearly states I was talking about my son’s school. I assume different schools have different procedures. </p>

<p>I recently lost someone very dear to me. She was everything I would hope my daughter will become when she is an adult. I never knew where she went to school until I read her obituary. Top prep schools and then Wellesley undergrad. I don’t know how much a school shapes a person but if I knew my daughter would become what this woman was if she attended Wellesley I would try my best to get her there. Not one ounce of entitlement ever came from her. Her intellect was matched by her integrity and her compassion. I never really thought much about Wellesley other than knowing it is an excellent school-now when I hear it mentioned I feel compelled to tell the story of that one graduate who touched so many lives in such a positive way and really did make a difference.</p>

<p>Good luck with your decision.</p>

<p>The accepted students gathering my D attended was awkward and uncomfortable for her. The kids and their parents have nothing in common at the moment except trying to figure out what college to choose, and there did seem to be more talk of test scores and other options than I’d expected, or would like. In addition, some of the kids are there because their parents have made them come, even if they know they want to go to another college. On the other hand, the “committed to attend” gathering later in the summer was delightful. Now there was a reason for the young women to learn more about each other and they had something in common to talk about. And the one girl we thought was kind of annoying at that gathering has turned out to be a good friend with much in common with my D. My advice, take it for what it is, an awkward social gathering, wait until after SOC to make a decision, and then know your D will find all kinds of young women at Wellesley if that is what she chooses. </p>

<p>Thanks to everyone that had constructive comments and experiences to share. </p>

<p>Hey…the whole point is that I just want my daughter to be happy…believe it or not she is a REALLY good kid and I want the best for her. We need to be concerned about the disability services available at schools and when u have a handicap I think other concerns (ie social fit) do come to the fore also.</p>

<p>We visited Grinnell and it was AMAZING. I think we need one more look at Wellesley because it is hard to let go a dream and we know what a fantastic school it is, but all signs are pointing to Grinnell as of now. Cool friendly kids, the BEST disability service people we have ever met with (they blew us away)and money to spend on accommodations, beautiful easy to navigate campus, welcoming and approachable professors, and more. </p>

<p>@pepper03 I am sorry for your loss. </p>

<p>Thanks, all.</p>

<p>It sounds like your daughter may have found her match. Grinnell’s a great school. I think Wellesley’s a fabulous college but sometimes things just don’t click for a kid. It’s nice that yours has multiple solid options.</p>

<p>@ChocoChipMom I’m so happy to hear that Grinnell felt right!! I honestly think that gut feeling thing is just SO important. Congrats to you and your D!</p>

<p>Agreed. Have heard such wonderful things about Grinnell. Hope it’s easy for your daughter to make her final decision; it will be such a relief when she does!</p>

<p>@ChocoChipMom‌ </p>

<p>I am glad it worked for your D. Grinnell is a great school and is also closer to home. It is a winner in every aspect for your D. </p>

<p>Best Wishes for her.</p>