Not the same old clothes thread

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
1

This one is about CASUAL dress schools - what do girls actually need for dressier clothes? All my forum searches bring up formal dress schools, and usually culminate in a multi-page discourse on ties, blazers, and laundry. Not super helpful for D.

D and I are not shoppers, and generally not into fashion, trendy brands, or popular styles. She wears plain, solid color tees & sweaters, no logos, shirts WITH shoulders, no ripped jeans. The couple of sundresses she owns are simple, classic lines, and she wears them with flip flops or sandals. Up until now, this has been fine for spring sports award banquets or music recitals.

We know she needs some dressier items, like on Day 1 for Convocation. Presumably, there will be other events like this, and she has nothing suitable for fall/winter (northeast school). How many dresses does she really need? I was thinking 2-3 total, with at least one long sleeve for winter. Will sleeveless dresses be okay paired with a cardigan, knit tights, and dressy boots? Do girls wear that kind of combo for dress-up school events? What about shoes - ballet flats? boots? Do you recommend more than 3 dresses? Does she need at least 1 formal dress as a freshman?

And where should we shop? We’ve been lightly shopping all summer, with no success. We spent 3 hours in Marshall’s last weekend; she left with one summer dress and one grey tee. She’s… picky. We’re in a rural area, not too many options for stores. Do you recommend the mall department stores, which we’ve always found to be flooded with impractical, trendy stuff? Or should I order up a storm from Amazon where we’ve found dozens of classic knit dresses? Do I need to spend $$$$ on the higher-end stores that cater to business women?

I should also mention that she’s all set for pretty much everything else at this point (everyday clothes, outerwear, classroom supplies, electronics). It’s just the dressy stuff still on our list.

2

D did graduation ceremony helper (I forgot what it was called) last Spring, and found her white dress at Charlotte Russe store at our neighborhood mall. They happened to have a lot of clearance and she bought a few dresses at around $10~$20 each. One for the ceremony and others for dance nights.

She used to often wear her mom’s formal looking Ann Taylor jackets when she was a preteen. But once she started BS, mostly just tights and sweatshirts. I hear that there isn’t time to dress and make up because of homework.

3

Your D sounds like mine who doesn’t like shopping and has simple, classic taste. She doesn’t like most things in the junior departments which often have ripped jeans, shirts without shoulders, etc.

For shopping online I recommend:

  1. Hands-down: eBay for shirts, skirts and sweaters
  2. The Gap (they carry skinny dress pants)
  3. Nordstrom Rack for shoes
  4. JCrew and Abercrombie to fill in anything not found on eBay.
  5. Macy’s Juniors for casual dresses
  6. ericdress.com for occasion dresses. They have a massive selection, most are less than $150 and you can order a custom size for no extra charge. They are made to order and ship from China. Most importantly, they have many modest choices for girls who don’t want plunging necklines and midriff dresses.

For casual dress clothes (like business casual) my 15 year old daughter wears:
—Button down shirts from Abercrombie or JCrew (I’m cheap so I try to buy them on sale or on eBay)
—Plain or light cable-knit sweaters (never sweater sets) from Ralph Lauren, Ann Taylor
—t-shirt or button down with cardigan
—skinny dress pants (these can be hard to find). The trend is for ankle length which D doesn’t love (they have nice ones at the Gap). I was delighted to find skinny dress pants full-length at Stein Mart of all places.
—Above-the-knee skirts, usually JCrew or Ann Taylor.
—ballet flats or saddle shoes
—For dresses, I’ve had good luck with Macy’s Junior dept.

A simple cardigan over a sleeveless dress would be totally fine. My D usually wears ballet flats with a dress because they’re more comfortable. I just bought my D two cute sleeves dresses online at Macy’s for about $50 each.

When shopping for the school year, I usually start with eBay and then buy everything else online because D hates to shop. eBay works really well when you know the size your D wears in a given brand. I set the price low so that if something doesn’t fit, it’s not a big deal. Here’s an example of how I make shopping simple on eBay:
Categories
Clothing
Women’s Clothing
Skirts
When list pops up, click Filter
Size Type
Petite
Junior
Size
XS
S
2P
2
Style
Mini
Straight/Pencil
Price
Enter price range (I select $1 to $20)
Buying Format
Buy it Now (or don’t select anything and results will include auction items which you can often get for a bargain).
Item Location
US Only
Brand
JCrew
Abercrombie
Ann Taylor
Banana Republic
Anthropologie
—You can further narrow the search by color or pattern etc. I leave buying condition unselected because I don’t mind gently used items for my D.
—I’ve had the best luck with skirts from JCrew and Ann Taylor; sweaters and shirts from Ralph Lauren, Abercrombie, JCrew and Ann Taylor.
—I don’t buy D pants or shoes on eBay
—I’ve purchased many auction items for less than $5 which are always brand name and either new or in beautiful, gently used condition.

Anyway, I hope this helps and good luck with shopping!

4

Forgot to mention this website for online shopping:
www.bodenusa.com

5

She may want to wait until she gets there then shop (even online) with friends. My son is now in college but many of the girls liked to “compete” to see who could spend the least on formal attire. Much to the chagrin of mothers who dreamt of shopping for prom dresses, these girls would haunt consignment and thrift shops, trade accessories, and show up at a formal (looking amazing, btw) and whisper “All this - even shoes -$42!”

With that said, sundresses with cardigans seemed popular. Skirts with tights and boots can be paired with blouses or sweaters. You might be able by looking at the school’s online presence (fb, weekly pics) get a sense. I admit that I am long past the age of knowing what is hip and what is not in a specific teenage world! Concert wear is usually specified.

6

A few comments

Your daughter might wind up caring more than she did in the past.

Even at schools with casual dress codes, at many boarding schools students dress up more/nicer than public schools. Just a generalization, though.

Look at photos on the school website and social media accounts for an idea on how students dress.

Err on the side of buying less not more initially. Once your daughter is on campus, she can get a better idea of how students dress, what she likes and doesn’t like, and you can add to her wardrobe then.

7

FWIW we just bought clothes via the J. Crew Outlet online store - for wardrobe basics. There may be special days or theme days later on at your school in the year and kids order outfits online. I have an Amazon and LLBean gift card for kiddo to use for online after school begins…I am sure there is a “wait and see what others are wearing” thing going on.

8

“There may be special days or theme days later on at your school in the year and kids order outfits online.”

Thrift stores/Goodwill are the places to go for these kinds of things, IMO. Kids would go with friends to seek out needed components or would do so during summer/breaks from school to add to their collection of “flare”.

9

It’s threads like this that make skimom very happy she only had boys. :slight_smile:

10

My D probably attended one of the most casual dress schools, so it can vary by school.

Day to day, she lived in jeans and T’s. In the winter she wore her boots every day regardless of weather or snow. We bought an easy wear skirt or 2 with similar mix and match knit tops (glorifed dressy T’s). These were rarely worn but were fine when needed. She took nothing formal or semi formal.

At graduation, these kids ran the gamut. My D chose a classic knit tank dress. Since her demands for clothes had been practically nonexistant, I bought the exact dress she wanted at full price (still under $100) from QVC.com where I have bought nothing before or since. I only learned they sold clothes when I visited my sister & she wanted to stop at a QVC outlet store.

I suggest you send your D with 2 slightly dressy outfits & have some general plans for ordering/sending more/different if needed or wanted. Probably she can make it to Thanksgiving break. Layering summer dresses should be fine certainly till she gets her sea legs. Don’t sweat the shoes. At D’s school, when dressed up, girls might wear flats, cowboy boots, sandals, whatever. Most casual schools are not too snooty about clothes. Of course there’s always that designer clique no matter where you are.

11

A lot of good info above.
I’ll reiterate not buying too much in advance, let daughter get a sense of the range of what’s expected or the norm, and what she likes from that. (reiterating that her taste may shift a bit).
I’ll also note that at our D’s school, the girls shared clothing… particularly for dress-up special events. (oooh… can I borrow those shoes!). So they got variety, an effectively larger closet, and there was a bit of sharing the wealth from kids who were well off.

12

ok - so kiddo gives the report on what was seen on social media posts from the last school year…There are many girls wearing skirts way above the dress code “ cut off line”. Also, we have a sense (could be wrong) that the social media posts self-select for affluent dressing and showing off. A bit concerned about what we have seen posted. Examples include Gucci sneakers and these Golden Goose sneakers that look like they are already dirty. When we were young, we purposely scuffed up our Keds but didn’t pay extra for it ^#(^

13

I’m told that since the dawn of time girls have been known to roll up their skirts when off school property and out of sight of Sister Mary Aloysius’ ruler. :slight_smile: Take social media postings with a grain of salt.

14

Where will she be attending school? THere are regional variations in teen tastes and school cultures, too.

15

Thank you ALL - absolutely great info here. Ebay - wow - who would have thought? I went into a couple searches, and was very happy to see dresses D would actually wear!

I totally get that we should wait and see what’s needed, what others are wearing, how her personal style may change… but then there’s the whole not-a-shopper problem. If she realizes she needs something “next week”, we should have started looking a month ago…

We did try looking for representative pictures on the school website, but it wasn’t that helpful. A lot of tees and sweatshirts in classrooms, logo shirts in front of iconic buildings, and team uniforms at athletic events. I guess if a school is not formal dress, it’s darn near impossible to find a picture of formal dress on that school’s website!

We spent some more time shopping this weekend. Yay. Nothing AT ALL at J. Crew, American Eagle, Gap, or even Ann Taylor. We were shocked to find 2 at Aeropostale, even though they’re ridiculously short. Fortunately D can pull it off, and likes wearing shorts under her dresses anyway. (And they’re not actually “too” short - just shorter than I like.) Ebay definitely looks like a winner for anything else she may need.

Thank you for all the words of wisdom - and thank your daughters too. And yes, this week it would have been nice to be a mom to boys…

16

Nordstrom Rack is also a store that people forget about! They have great prices for some items and they also have a large sale section. They have free shipping and a great return policy. A decent amount of there clothes are names brands but the prices are that of clothes you could get at Gap or Old Navy.

17

Not sure if many casual schools dress for convocation but I know NMH does and there a sundress with cardigan or any skirt, top or dress option would be fine including a t shirt dress for convocation etc. The girls do not seem to wear dress pants as often as dresses and skirts to the few more formal days but maybe this happens more in the winter. Prom was generally floor length I think? My dd graduated 2016

18

OMG, I am still laughing at remembering the clothing “thread” from last year about what parents wear for drop-off and also for pick up. Thank @chemmchimey for reminding us about convocation ceremonies at some schools. Also, some schools have a signing-the-book photo op…

19

As does Andover.

Ditto

Usually, but not exclusively.

20

Thacher has an UNProm. It is organized by faculty and staff, has a theme, and there is a strict $15 spending limit on attire.