<p>F because my D was priority wait listed at CMU’s MT program and they sent us an amazing financial package but…well we all know how that went. :-S </p>
<p>I can’t really endorse “just let it unfold” because you can’t find, apply to, and audition for the programs that are right for you, without doing your research and working incredibly hard. I’d say that there is a time to “let it unfold” but it’s pretty late in the process!</p>
<p>@prodesse - a agree with you, it’s crazy grueling, and I imagine it is really hard to be successful without putting in the research and the work. (though there will always be the urban legend of the kid who walked in off the street with no experience/training/preparation and got into a million programs with full scholarships) But once the auditions are all over… that’s when you have to let it go and let things unfold… after all, there is no more that can be done. My main hope for D was that she would feel she had done all she could do (and she did) and now it was in the hands of fate :)</p>
<p>Waiting to hear is absolutely agonizing but my “worst part of the he process” was something unrelated to acceptances/rejections but rather in the process itself. I did the vast majority of the assisting work with my S, starting with proofing essays through attending auditions(so very involved and aware of deadlines and timing, etc.). My son was part of a performing arts high school program so other local families were going through the same processes at the same time. Some families were more interested in knowing how my S was doing in the process than I felt was appropriate. It was very upsetting to be asked “so, did your S get in” shortly after phone calls/emails started. Both rejections and acceptances take time to process and frankly, until your student is ready to discuss or make decisions public, it is no one’s business. In our case, any acceptance was greeted not with enthusiastic congratulations but hand-wringing and horrible angst over other families’ situations (who had not gotten offers until later in the process). I would have loved to share some of the wonderful experiences but each conversation devolved into bitter complaints about the process and the “unfairness of it all.” I spent most of the spring trying to avoid having conversations about the process (not an easy task as our kids’ lives were quite intertwined). Bottom line? The process is difficult enough without intervention of bitter spirits. Most (if not all) students will experience rejection; allow them to enjoy the moment when they receive a “yes”! </p>
<p>@artskids Even though it was hard because no one really understood what my D was going through because she was the only one - I can’t imagine what it would have been like with a group of people knowing the letters and calls had gone out. My D did not bother to tell people where she was applying -especially knowing the odds of getting in. Anytime someone asked where she was going both of us would just say we will know by May. </p>
<p>I’ve often wondered if posting acceptances here in list form triggers some of the same emotional impact as what @artskids is describing above. Yes those posts are usually met with hearty and hopefully sincere congratulations and any mention of rejection usually met with expressions of regret. But that’s the public reaction. Perhaps there is a silent readership which experiences that information quite differently. </p>
<p>I will confess that I never added my daughter’s information to the college acceptance list and nor did I ever list rejections. I preferred to keep that information private for the same reasons that artskids mentioned above. I did add her information to the final decision list once she picked her school in the spring. However I did then and do now enjoy reading the lists of where various folks get in so I guess I have something of a double standard. Part my interest in that information the year my daughter applied was selfish. If someone else’s acceptance involved a school that she was also interested in, it was a sign that that school was “in play” at the moment and perhaps we might also be hearing from them soon. </p>
<p>Every year here, there is that one kid that just seems to get in everywhere. For all of the congratulations and kudos the person that posts that enjoys as they add yet another victory to their list, I guarantee there are also people wondering, “who the heck is that kid?” or maybe even “what the heck do they have going for them that my kid doesn’t have?” Nobody ever writes that stuff here in CC but that doesn’t mean they don’t think it. </p>
<p>Anyway, over here in double standard land I’m really looking forward to this year’s acceptance list. I LOVE to read it! </p>
<p>I, too, enjoy the posts. I am a confessed lurker; I came very late to CC and didn’t share our journey as it was decision time once I got acclimated. It seems easier to share victories and defeats with the CC community - anonymity perhaps - than with those who are in the soup with you. I am right back in college search mode with my second child (although not likely a BFA candidate so the process is heading in a much different direction). If my second child chooses audition-in programs, I may have to go to ground for 6 months :-)! </p>
<p>Every single part of this process sucked….</p>
<p>Oh come on! Ingrown toenails suck. Getting stranded in an ice pack during a polar expedition in the 1800’s sucked (reading a cool book I can’t put down now), black licorice sucks. Applying to college does not suck even if it involves auditions and the rest. It’s a difficult right of passage. Nothing more, nothing less. </p>
<p>If I had to choose between getting an ingrown toenail and going through this process again…I would choose the toenail! ps…I LOVE black licorice !</p>
<p>I love black licorice too! And there were definitely periods when the process sucked.</p>
<p>I might choose the ingrown nail, too, BUT I must say that the “pain” of audition year never quit ends! Because after that year there are college auditions, and summer stock auditions, and professional auditions, and, and… and they have to be able to handle the disappointments and rejections and deal with good, close friends who either get a part when they don’t or vice-versa, and still behave like compassionate, rational, confident, non-suicidal human beings!! Learning to deal with this is part of the learning curve, and it is a huge part of this chosen field. Parents, too!</p>
<p>@calliene - I very much agree with you, and I find that my kid’s attitude is way better than mine. While there were rejections that really stung (more than a few tears shed) she always chalked it up as part of the biz- I was the one seeing it as a judgement. Gotta hate it when the kid is the mature one :)</p>
<p>I think that the professional world has many more options for auditions and opportunities…the college process was either you get in or you don’t…I think that was the hardest part of it all. </p>
<p>My D’s attitude about the process was much more mature than mine! 
And now that she is in college I still take the rejections personally. She understands that it is the price of the life she’s chosen. And hopefully I’ve managed to hide most of my crazy from her!</p>
<p>In regards to “that kid who gets in every where,” I am beginning to wonder if there are some kids who are just much easier for the auditors to read than other kids. My D, as most everyone knows, just squeaked in to UNCSA in July. At this point though she is easily settling into her class and it doesn’t seem that she is any less talented or ready than anyone else. She has gotten some great feedback from professors already.
One professor though remarked at one point “I didn’t get you before.” I am starting to think there are some kids who are just easy to meet, and auditors can quickly understand who this kid is. Other kids are more complex, or more something, I am not sure what… and it is just more difficult for the auditors to pin them down and understand what type of learner the kid is. That makes it less likely for the kid to get in. The talent is there, but there are questions in the auditors mind. And that is enough to give another kid the edge in this very competitive process.
Nothing you can do about it though! Kids who pretend to be someone they are not are not going to do well either. The best advice remains to be yourself…</p>
<p>That’s a really interesting idea, @dramamom0804 – and glad to hear your daughter is settling in so well. </p>
<p>I think that is a valuable skill for the kids to learn- how to really present themselves at their best. (It’s actually a great skill to learn for anyone in any field if you are ever going to interview for a job, have to present material- pretty much be out in the world) </p>
<p>I did find that many of the performing arts high school kids and many of the “coached” kids had a better grasp on this then a lot of the kids that didn’t have that available to them</p>
<p>I know it is something that the BFA group worked on at my D’s school in mock auditions. If you think about it- not many HS kids have extensive interview experience and there is a significant difference between performing and interviewing</p>