Now, time to make a decision between P and S

Parents Social Lounge
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<p>First of all, I appreciate your encouraging comments given around the notification date of Stanford SCEA result. After the deferral, my S worked hard on the other applications, and he got accepted to many schools with great offers. Now, he pretty much narrowed down to Princeton and Stanford. I read a post and all the replies below about the choice among HYP, but our situation is a little different because there is a "substantial "difference in aids.</p>

<p>My S's first choice is Stanford, and we would send him there if there is no money issue involved. But the aid package from Princeton is very hard for us to pass, since it will be a real stretch for us to send him to Stanford.</p>

<p>So, I am looking for a second round of advice here.</p>

<p>(1) We will be contacting Stanford financial office today, both by phone and Express mail with some necessary documents. Since my S is at school now, I am thinking to write the cover letter myself. Is it ok? Or should my S write the cover letter himself? In fact, he did most of financial aid paperwork himself, although we will be mainly responsible for paying the expenses.</p>

<p>(2) If we are still in the situation with a substantial difference and my S still prefers Stanford after visiting two schools, what should we, the parents, do? We are trying not to give any pressure at this point, and told him to compare two schools during the visits in many aspects other than money. But, if he still prefers Stanford and ask for our consideration, this would put us in a tough position.</p>

<p>(3) I think there are many posts on comparing two schools. Without considering the aid packages, I'd like to get your comments on what you think is better for my son. He is a laid-back type, and is feeling that Princeton might be too tight for him and Stanford encourages more creative ideas/paths. In terms of majors, he is not sure yet, but he is a humanity kid and put history/literature/politics/music as possible majors in the applications. From Princeton's program, he liked the musicology program a lot, and I think WW might be good for him as well. For Stanford, I am not sure since I feel that Stanford's strength is rather in biological sciences and engineering. If he doesn't go into research careers in history/music, he is likely to do MBA as a next step. </p>

<p>Any input would be greatly appreciated.</p>

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<p>How big is <em>substantial</em>?</p>

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<p>From your description of your son's interests, I would think that Princeton is a better fit, never mind the financial aspects.</p>

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<p>In fact you should be the one to write the financial aid request to Stanford, and not your son. You are paying, and it makes more sense for the letter and comparison offer to be sent by you.</p>

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<p>Mozartmom - I have a daughter who is in her sophomore year at Princeton. She also chose between Stanford and Princeton - and we live about 10 minutes from the Stanford campus. My dad was a professor there for many many years. </p>

<p>I can promise you Princeton is not a "tight" place. My daughter is majoring in psych/neuroscience but her current favorite class is an upper level seminar on 18th century English literature. The current administration is focused on upping the scope of their arts programs. I could go on and on but won't:). Just suffice it to say that for my daughter, at least, it is the warmest, friendliest, most exciting place she could imagine. She chose it because she wanted to be near NYC, because she felt like Stanford would be too similar to her high school experience, and because the April Hosting weekend simply won her over with intangibles. But that's just one kid.</p>

<p>Has your son visited? </p>

<p>If your son prefers Stanford, I do recommend following every avenue to see if the finaid can be matched. Maybe he just likes the California feelings best, which of course being a long term resident, I can understand....But have him go to the Princeton April Hosting and he may come away with a completely different sense of the place.</p>

<p>In any case, enjoy the moment if you can, it's a great achievement on his part and I hope that aspect prevails over the anxiety of decision - which we are familiar with:).</p>

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<p>For what it's worth, I think Stanford looks more laid-back, but Princeton is more laid-back. I tend to agree with marite. For a kid whose significant interests are in the humanities and music, Princeton has even more to offer than Stanford. Socially, I think Princeton is nicer, too -- the residential colleges and eating clubs give it deep cohesiveness and continuity that Stanford has always lacked. Stanford is great great great, don't get me wrong, but Princeton is . . . . maybe a little greater. At even price, not to mention for less.</p>

<p>The last kid I knew who narrowed it down to this binary choice was a girl from San Diego who chose Princeton.</p>

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<p>Another factor to consider is that all students at Princeton do a senior thesis and also a smaller version of indpendent work during their junior year. At Stanford, only those students who choose to graduate with departmental honors do a senior thesis. This is an important difference in the educational programs of these two schools. My son chose Stanford but his interests were more technical and it was a great school for him. (As an aside, he did do a senior thesis in Economics, and I think it was a very valuable experience, but I was surprised that only quite a small percentage of his fellow Economics majors wrote a thesis.) I do not know much about the humanities offerings at Stanford because my son limited his studies in those fields to the bare minimum requirements. However, as others have said, Princeton is well known for its strength in your son's fields of interests.</p>

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<p>IMHO, a letter from you S to Stanford would carry more weight that one from you. After all, he, not you, is the one who wants to attend, and his passion for the place will come through (or should come through).</p>

<p>If, after visiting, he still prefers Stanford for valid reasons, e.g., fit, program, etc., then I would encourage him to let Stanford know that that's the school he truly wants to attend. (It might be better to delay writing Stanford, if possible, until after visiting.) It's quite possible that a visit to Princeton's campus may cause him to change his mind, and then it'll be a win-win situation for all involved.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>