<p>Not to mention parent relations. It takes people to create and send out all the twitters, facebook updates, magazines, emails to parents that didn’t happen in our day. The only mail our parents got was the tuition bill and maybe a letter if you made dean’s list.</p>
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Some of us do know. Frugaldoctor hit the nail on the head. My husband has been working two jobs, one collecting garbage and the other stocking shelves in a supermarket overnight for the last 15 years. He is getting close to the end of what his body can take as he approaches 50. I am so grateful that he did that for so long and my son only has two years left of high school, so we can see the finish line. We know more than a few people who have done similar or have worked the second job driving a cab overnight (which I can’t imagine doing, myself). There are a lot of middle class people who put a major push on for college. As a family doing it ourselves, I respect the willingness to do whatever is necessary to do better for the kids. We have two more tuition payments for D2’s college and my husband and I plan to dance in the street in front of our house when we make the payment. It is not easy, but thank God we can do it.</p>
<p>“Blossom, there are some other things to consider for families earning $250,000. There are many families in the $250,000+ income bracket that work near exhaustion to provide the best for their children. This level of work is unsustainable. When it comes to the practice of medicine, the opportunity to maintain income and balance the responsibilities have rapidly become dimmer.”</p>
<p>Oh frugal doctor, I’m a physician’s wife, and get over yourself. Yes, my physician husband works like a dog. But he has skills. Plenty of people work several jobs to make ends meet and don’t have the skills to be compensated at that level. Feel free to trade places with any of them if they have it so easy.</p>
<p>This feels to me like whining that disabled people have it so easy because they get the biggest bathroom stalls and closest parking spaces. Well, great, but I wouldn’t trade my able body for those things. Likewise, I can’t fathom resenting poorer people for getting aid. I wouldn’t trade my lifestyle, which includes being full pay, for being poor just to get a break on tuition.</p>
<p>“Well, good. Because that was my point, too. If we’re going to tell Gildo he has too many kids then we need to tell Dasani’s mom the same thing.”</p>
<p>Well, duh, Dasani’s mother shouldn’t have had a passel of kids. What’s so outrageous about that?</p>
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<p>Exactly.</p>
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<p>Pizzagirl, my post wasn’t meant to be narcissistic at all. If it came off that way, I sincerely apologize. I have been a janitor, engineer and now a physician. I am lucky to have had all of those opportunities knowing that I was raised by a single parent who worked 3 jobs and depended on state aid. So, I haven’t forgotten where I came from. The point that I was attempting to make is that there is an expectation whether good or bad that is placed on people because of their income bracket. This is especially true when it comes to what someone should be able to afford. Those expectations are a fantasy in most part. They clearly do not coincide with the challenges most families have to endure. And for each situation, there is another family in more dire situations. </p>
<p>So, I can’t help but cringe when I read these posts about what people should pay or attacks on people for their opinions. All I can say is that I thank those who were honest enough to share their plight so that I can learn from them and discover my options.</p>
<p>I don’t know why people feel the need to argue against others who make $250K about whether $50K+ tuition is affordable for them or not. They should know. </p>
<p>Also, most people who are poor made choices that put them in their predicament, as well.</p>
<p>Blossom, fantastic post (160). Our expectation of what college should be has also increased exponentially since the days of more reasonable tuition.</p>
<p>Bay, I agree with your first point but would like for you to appreciate that not all people who are poor put themselves in that predicament. I’ve seen illness, divorces, injuries, or other situations causing poverty. We can only hope that those individuals do everything to get themselves, and more importantly, their children out of poverty.</p>
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<p>Of course. That is why I included the word “most.”</p>
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<p>One of the goals of federal and institutional financial aid, I believe.</p>
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<p>And I would dispute the word “most.” Every single child born into poverty is there not by choice.</p>
<p>No child is born into any situation by choice.</p>
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<p>If you make $250K (not you personally) and you decide that you need to spend to that level to have the house, car, etc. you want, then you won’t have that money for college. It’s as simple as that. No one forces anyone to upscale their living styles as they move upwards in income.</p>
<p>It is an interesting “feature” of our college funding system, or lack thereof, that students are utterly dependent on their parents to be able to pay for college (or not), to fill out financial aid paperwork (or not)…all things completely out of the control of the student.</p>
<p>Kids with wealthy parents get a full ride courtesy of mom and dad. High achieving kids with poor parents who do the necessary legwork may get anything from a loan to a full ride from the gov’t, a college, a charitable org.</p>
<p>Is one kid better than the other? Does one deserve a debt-free education more than the other?</p>
<p>A student with an EFC of zero, who gains entrance to one of the schools that offer 100% need met awards is likely a better student than one whose EFC is $99,000, as the zero EFC student has been running the race with a 50lb sack of potatoes on her back as compared to the student who has had the newest and lightest equipment.</p>
<p>The no need student is still eligible for merit awards at schools that offer such.</p>
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But no one said anything about upscaling. Frugaldoctor was just saying that the number may reflect real, exhausting hard work. He was speaking of his experience as a physician, but two police officers, two firefighters, etc. in NYC will make $250,000 together in some years and most don’t live super-lavish lifestyles and work hard for their money in a way that isn’t possible or sustainable over decades.</p>
<p>^^^^^
Like!</p>
<p>When frugaldoctor was talking about working himself to exhaustion, my first thought was zooserdad!</p>
<p>I am in no way complaining about my life and how hard my H works. But I promise you he works just as hard as his physician brother for 1/7 of the pay. There are tons of people out there working themselves to the point of exhaustion for a lot less! </p>
<p>Sorry I should have stayed off of here.</p>
<p>And I want to be clear that I am not complaining. You will never, ever find a more grateful person than I. My D took her college graduation (!!!) pictures today and sent us a selfie of her hair and make-up. My husband and I both cried. Literally cried. Because we are so grateful and humbled and we can’t believe this could happen for people like us.</p>
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<p>Isnt this^^^^^ upscaling? As opposed to maintaining the standard of living when your income increases( or decreasing it when your income goes down).</p>
<p>When we married, we lived less than a mile from where Bill Gates built his house.
We could have easily afforded to stay in that house to raise our family, but were aware that the pressure to continually present an upscale appearance would drain our finances and our psyche.
Ironically we moved into a neighborhood that is now ( 30 yr later) one of the ten hottest in the country.
;).</p>