NY Times article

Parents Forum
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[quote]
But that's the thing, Idad; she doesn't live in Southie or the North End. She lives in Newton. And teenagers do tend to stay where they live. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times my own kids have gone to the North End. Southie? Once. And we're more conveniently situated for public transport to either place than Newton.

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<p>Right. And that is precisely why 17 year olds should run away, as fast as they can, from "meaning of life" college essays. These types of essays are almost guaranteed to come off as self-indulgent and naive.</p>

<p>Think about the poor adcoms. Williams got 6000 applications this year. Can you imagine what it must be like to sit, bleary-eyed through 6000 17 year olds describing the meaning of life? Just shoot me now.</p>

<p>Give 'em a break. Describe an afternoon in the bleachers at Fenway Park or going to Ozfest and gawking at the crazies or preaching the sermon in church or looking for little green men through the telescope at the observatory or making the world's best fudge or something.</p>

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<p>interesteddad - I agree completely with you literary criticism of the Esther assay but a bigger question I think is why are we asking 17/18 year olds to write such self-reflective slop in the first place? For one thing they don't generally have enough self-awareness or experience of the world to do it and when they do they don't usually have the emotional courage to lay it out. Even if they have the guts to do it they usually lack the inclination as well. Remember these are KIDS. Late Adolescent KIDS.</p>

<p>To be honest I am 56 and you would have to offer me a pretty big carrot to get me to lay my soul bare to a total stranger. I frankly thing it ridiculous to expect a 17 year old to be a driven passionate crusader to save the world, willing to lay his or her soul bare in the process. I also think it is this kind of drivel that is driving boys away from college and even high school.</p>

<p>My wife and I stayed out of the essay writting except to offer spelling and grammatical suggestions. I could have suggested a couple of topics S could have written that would have been very revealing of who and what he is but I knew he didn't have the inclination for such self-revelation even though he had the literary skill to pull it off. The essay7 was pretty mundane. If it kept him out of anywhere he probably wouldn't have been happy there in the first place.</p>

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<p>The parent letter is something that Smith invites. I don't know about other colleges doing that but I know it's a Smith thing.</p>

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<p>"Can you imagine what it must be like to sit, bleary-eyed through 6000 17 year olds describing the meaning of life? Just shoot me now.</p>

<p>Give 'em a break. Describe an afternoon in the bleachers at Fenway Park or going to Ozfest and gawking at the crazies or preaching the sermon in church or looking for little green men through the telescope at the observatory or making the world's best fudge or something."</p>

<p>lol </p>

<p>Interesteddad, I actually agree with your sentiment.</p>

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<p>You are all assuming that anyone actually reads these things - and discusses them! - for other than grammar and punctuation. (I think highly unlikely.) If it anything, it's probably more like - "Liked it/Didn't like it" (check one).</p>

86

<p>
[quote]
..the Kentucky essay would earn wild kudos at Conn. College.

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<p>I'm having a heart attack, here.</p>

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<p>BTW I agree with mini that the essays aren't given much weight except as a writting sample. Since many are ghost written or heavily edited I doubt they are much use for that either. That being the case they can probably hurt you way more than they can help you if you manage to actually irritate an adcom with one so take interesteddads advice and avoid the "meaning of life" essay.</p>

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<p>"...the Kentucky essay would earn wild kudos at Conn. College."</p>

<p>Why is this? Are you saying the admission counselors at Conn College are snobs? Are the students who apply as vapid and self-centered as Esther? </p>

<p>I think you are painting with a broad brush. We have visited a lot of schools this spring, and there was a lot more diversity and very pleasant, regular kids at Conn College. They didn't strike me as snobbish, or simple, or vapid, as this Esther does.</p>

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<p>Can you imagine what a parent letter looks like?? Good Lord, why would ANY school allow one??</p>

<p>Dear Admissions Counselor,</p>

<p>My daughter, Esther, is a wonderful girl. She walked at the age of 6 months, was potty trained at the age of 12 months, talked in complete sentences at 7 months, and could whip up a wonderful fondue by the age of 21 months. Additionally, she completed her first reading of Dostoevsky's "The Idiot," in the original Russian, at the age of three. Not only did she read it, she wrote a 10 page paper on it, in blue crayon, so to be fair, the paper was probably only really 5 pages.</p>

<p>Athletically, my daughter could break the 4 minute mile mark in running, but since Esther is such a humanitarian, she felt it would damage the self-esteem of other youngsters if she did so at her ripe young age. She beat Vanessa Williams in tennis, Tiger Woods in golf, and although she is only 4ft. 11in., she can dunk a mean basketball. Musically, she will probably turn down the opportunity to play at Carnegie Hall this spring vacation, so that she can go to Darfur and save the world. </p>

<p>As you can see, Esther is the smartest, most talented young person in the world. It is obvious to all who know us that she has taken after me. </p>

<p>Best Wishes,
Esther's Dad"</p>

<p>Can you imagine????????</p>

90

<p>
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Why is this? Are you saying the admission counselors at Conn College are snobs? Are the students who apply as vapid and self-centered as Esther?

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<p>Dear Adigal:</p>

<p>How could you possibly derive that from my simple --yet direct and precise-- comments on the ESSAY? </p>

<p>Didn't I write, "Based on the florid and impersonal essays the school has showcased in the past, the Kentucky essay would earn wild kudos at Conn College."? </p>

<p>If you consider that I was "painting with a broad brush," I encourage you to supplement your pleasant visit to Conn College with a somewhat deeper analysis of what the English department and, by extension, the adcoms at that school like to see in applications essays. In this thread, I described the essays as florid and impersonal. In the past, I've used terms such as Fabio-esque and purple prose like for the Conn College Collection. </p>

<p>I don't know how vapid or snobbish the students at Conn College are, but I do know that the school seems to enjoy "different" essays.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
The admission staff at Connecticut College compiled the following collection of outstanding essays -sic- to help you approach your own personal statement with confidence and excitement. Through the range of responses these students took, you will see that the essay - as a sample of writing and a reflection of your interests and values - can take many forms. Whilethere is not any "right" or "wrong" topic, some approaches offer a bit more creativity and fluency than others. The samples we have selected reflect this idea. </p>

<p>Each of these essayists was offered admission to Connecticut College, and each matriculated at the College. The writing samples they submitted often played an important role in obtaining the coveted "fat letter" on April 1.

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<p>Follow the Leader </p>

<p>Her spry, Timberland-clad foot planted itself upon a jagged boulder, motionless, until her calf muscles tightened and catapulted her small frame into the next stride. Then Sara's dance continued, her feet playing effortlessly with the difficult terrain. As her foot lifted from the ground, compressed mint-colored lichen would spring back into position, only to be crushed by my immense boot, struggling to step where hers had been. My eyes fixated on the forest floor, as fallen trees, swollen roots, and unsteady rocks posed constant threats for my exhausted body. Without glancing up I knew what was ahead: the same dense, impenetrable green that had surrounded us for hours. My throat prickled with unfathomable thirst, as my long-empty Nalgene bottle slapped mockingly at my side. Gnarled branches snared at my clothes and tore at my hair, and I blindly hurled myself after Sara. The portage had become a battle, and the ominously darkening sky raised the potential for casualties. Gritting my teeth with gumption, I refused to stop; I would march on until I could no longer stand. </p>

<p>Suddenly, Sara's light step halted and she turned to face me. From her hazel eyes blazed an intensity of exhilaration and courage, which mingled with pride and concern as she surveyed my resolute expression. I watched longingly as Sara unfastened the Nalgene bottle from her side; one sip of water sloshed tantalizingly at the bottom of the bottle, heightening my senses into acute desire. Sweat poured down from my face, biting at my eyes, and after I dabbed at them with my shirt, I saw Sara was presenting the water bottle to me. Both anticipating and squelching my refusing, Sara said simply, "Drink, Stacy. You cannot help the group when there is nothing left of yourself to give." For a moment we grinned at each other, as gratitude and wonder for her selflessness coursed in my veins. The cool water instantly revived my strength and love for the trail. Then Sara removed the rustic compass from around her neck and slid it over my own. She swung her arm around my shoulder and raised an eyebrow, inviting me to lead. </p>

<p>Euphorically, I grasped the smooth plastic, flushed with pride that Sara believed I could lead the group to safety. Then ruthless doubt sliced through my enthusiasm as I realized that I completely lacked a sense of direction. Frantically, I tried to remember the idiotic mnemonic device for the compass we had learned prior to the trip: was it "red shed over Fred?" or simply, "Fred's red shed?" What came after I put "Red Fred in the shed?" How could "Fred" possibly make sense of this green abyss? I turned my confused face up to Sara's and saw the confidence in her eyes reflect the possibility of my own. In her smile I saw permission to fail, in her eyes the reassurance of success. I stared pointedly at the flickering red needle, oriented Fred, and raised the compass to the green. Without hesitation I pointed the direction onward and the group advanced. </p>

<p>A year later I found myself again in the land of the redwood pine. Only now ten bright, excited, youthful faces believed I had all of the answers. I was to be their leader through the wilderness; their guide to a world of awe-inspiring beauty, elemental priorities, and fulfilled potential. I fervently wanted to instill a love for the trail within each of my campers; to share the overwhelming appreciation of nature, others, and self that resulted from my own experience. However, apprehension whispered self-doubt: what if I wasn't ready to lead? What if my girls hated the trail? What if I was not strong enough? Suddenly the memory of Sara flared up in my mind's eye and silenced all doubts, her examples once again blazing a trail for me to follow. With her memory as my core to security and knowledge, I packed my campers into the canoes, and we set off, a camp song on my lips and hunger for the wilderness within my heart. Whenever challenges arose, Sara stood beside me; her rational eyes scrutinized the sky for advancing storms; her inexhaustible patience built a roaring fire out of wet wood; and her deft fingers secured fishermen's knots to hold up a tarp. Because her skills had built a firm foundation for trail life within me, my confidence now positioned the girls into lightening stances; my hilarity amused the girls as we huddled under the protective tarp; my voice sang reassuringly over the pounding of the fierce rain. At last, when a fantastic rainbow fanned the brilliant blue sky, it was the love of both of us that abounded the joy and fulfillment of leadership being passed on to a new generation.</p>

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<h2>"That assumes the AP Eng Lit teacher knows the first thing about SUCCCESSFUL college essays. For all we know, the writer may have received "advice" from her teachers. "</h2>

<p>First of all, xiggi, you are starting make me a little paranoid...lol!</p>

<p>And, I would hope someone who teaches AP Lit would know bad writing when they see it...at our school, the AP teachers are pretty darned qualified. I assume because the school in the article has been described as among the best in the country, the AP teachers and counselors there would know when an essay is going to do a disservice to an applicant and speak up. But then again, maybe teachers and gcs didn't like this particular girl...hehe.</p>

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<p>Mathson's college essay started with the results of a program where he took sample essays he'd found them on the web and had mixed them all up. It was a collage of trite phrases. Then he said, something on the order of "I wish I could get the computer to write my college essay for me, but as you can see I have a ways to go."</p>

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<p>Well, that essa is florid, but it doesn't show the condescending, elitist attitude that Esther's does. I would take that hiking kid before I took Esther, that 's for sure. :)</p>

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<p>LDMom, you can have VERY well-written essays that are horrible college application essays. AP English teachers should have no problem identifying the first type, but still could be entirely clueless about the second type.</p>

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<p>xiggi - BUT, in the case of our school, the AP Lit teachers actually made an assignment of the college application essay expressly for the purpose of making sure none of these very promising seniors got off on the wrong track.</p>

<p>Also, I think most teachers can distinguish between a good college application essay and a good essay that would be a bad choice for a college application. Don't sell the teachers short now. ;)</p>

<p>I think the more likely scenario is only those who thought this girl could do no wrong set eyes on that essay...and no one had the wherewithal to tell her it sucked.</p>

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<p>xiggi:</p>

<p>Although the prose of the UConn essay was disasterous, the basic "story" was exactly the kind of thing I would like to see from more students.</p>

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<p>Listen folks, I've read hundreds, if not thousands of college essays. It may surprise some, but I'd say about 99% - including those that have gotten kids into the most competitive schools - sound pretty much like Esther's -- in other words, like a 17-year old wrote them. Like Marite, when I'm given the priviledge of being asked to read a student's essay, I tread lightly because I know no matter how much input they may have already received from others, when you're 17, putting yourself forward in an essay that will be read by strangers who have your future in their hands is always a pretty scary thing. </p>

<p>I also think it is important that everyone posting in this thread remember that admissions officers don't read essays by themselves. They read them as part of an application package. The essay alone tells you zero, zilch, nada about what is said in recommendations, in interviews, in other parts of the application, on the transcript, on the test score report, in other contacts with the college, and in the admissions committee's mind. In short, it's the whole PACKAGE that matters, not the essay alone.</p>

<p>I've read some essays that I thought could have been better, but the applicant still got in (including to top schools) I've read some essays that I thought were absolutely stellar, and the applicant still got denied. The essay is important, yes, but I can guarantee that NO admissions committee in the country makes an admissions decision SOLELY on the essay.</p>

<p>So, let's cut Esther some slack. No one here has access to her entire application, no one here was a fly on the wall of any of the admissions committees at the schools where she applied, no one here interviewed her, no one here decided how the article should be slanted, and most importantly, no one here should be chopping up a 17-year old's words like confetti. For the most part, I <em>think</em> we're adults. Let's act like it.</p>

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<p>Carolyn,
I don't think you can ask people to refrain from making a judgement about a kid who has written such an elitist and snobbish essay. Yes, her recommendations and grades and activities may be great, but it seems that her real views snuck into that essay. And it also seems as though most of the colleges she applied to did not like what they saw. </p>

<p>And commenting and having an opinion on what she wrote and submitted does not mean we are not "adults." What is the correlation between thinking that what she wrote was terrible, and being childlike? I think it means that as adults, we are stunned by the attitude of a kid who should have known better than to include an essay like that. </p>

<p>I'm surprised everyone, especially the adults, does not see how offensive her essay was.</p>

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<p>Adigal, It appears you missed my point. She is 17 years old. Regardless of your personal feelings about her essay or views, there is no reason to skewer a 17 year old publicly.</p>