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I’ve had two family members (one by marriage) with this personality disorder. VERY difficult to deal with them. One of them is now deceased, and the other is simply out of my life completely, and I’ve never had more peace.
Just because there is biology doesn’t mean one must forever be burdened with extreme toxicity.
Borderline personality disorder is very painful and exhausting for both the person with it and the family members. And also exhausting for the healthcare professionals involved in their care. Often lots of drama, splitting, sometimes self harm, etc. and sadly, also very hard to treat.
We have a person in our life with Borderline. It is a terrible condition. She has made life difficult for everyone she’s known, but at the same time, I know her own life is always, always, painful. I didn’t know her when she was young, before this diagnosis was known, but I can only imagine the dismay, and sometimes anger her behavior must have caused by people thinking she’s just being difficult. At least a diagnosis is some sort of explanation, even though not much seems available to adequately treat it.
But the other side of the coin is, when not spiraling (the norm), she can be the most loving, engaging, and very, very funny person. It’s just that that side doesn’t ever last for long, as the next “emergency” occurs.
Exhausting is a perfect description. Exhausting for the person who has the disorder, too, but my family member never-and I mean NEVER-sees her own role in anything, ever.
Im thankful the reign of turbulence is almost over for my kids.
We believe soon to be ex stepmom has this.
I agree with all, it’s a terrible condition for the beholders, and for the patient as well–imagine never being satisfied, being content. Meds can help the patient, What I liked about the video was how it showed the beholder sister setting boundaries and holding them. Very difficult!
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My advice… stay out of it.
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Setting boundaries is what it is all about for surrounding family members. After learning about BPD, which can be a project in itself. I have a sibling with it, and I remember going through the classic book, Stop Walking on Eggshells with my mom, as we came to realize this was a syndrome, and not our unique brand of hell. My mom had been trying to figure out what caused the emotional volatility for decades. Fortunately DBT has come on the scene, offering hope and help. Symptoms spiral up and down, and I have learned to never get too excited in any direction as my family member changes moods and attitudes on a dime. Living in a different part of the country has been very helpful for my own boundaries.
I was on a Radiolab podcast with the sister with BPD. Her announcement of this diagnosis made a world of sense to me. People with personality disorders are all over the sexual misconduct cases I see.
The episode is here: In the No Part 2
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Here’s a fresh one:
That was very powerful. I need to sit on it for awhile.
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