<p>We have 4 kids spread out over 12 years, with a 6-year gap between the 3rd and 4th. We said we would never go that travel-team route after watching other families juggle their activities to get kids to tournament after tournament. Fortunately for us, our 3 oldest were pretty well-rounded with their interests and while they all played sports, they were not passionate about any of them. Then along came our 4th- he eats, lives and breathes any kind of sports, but loves soccer more than anything. We finally broke down and let him start playing at a club level, when it bacame obvious that rec soccer was no longer challenging. We have told him he is very fortunate that he is the youngest and that the others were gone for the most part by the time we felt he was ready for a club level, as we would never have let his soccer interfere with activities aimed at the whole family. He did try some HS sports, but by 10th grade finally had to give up his beloved X-country as his club soccer team became highly nationally ranked and started traveling even more. That was his toughest decision, but I don’t think he regrets it. He is now playing soccer for his college. Looking back, we are very lucky that he was our youngest because we would not have made the time committment that it took for him to play at a higher level otherwise. I think it is unfortunate that youth sports have evolved to this level of competition as it excludes many talented kids for either economic or time-committment reasons. We are fortunate that we could afford the extensive costs of playing at a club level, and that our other kids were gone. We know other very talented kids who have not been able to follow their passions. </p>
<p>I’d agree that for the kid who doesn’t get to play–the intense travel/training can be tough. My kid didn’t do a team sport so we didn’t have that experience. However, kids who aren’t in team sports do end up having to deal with the fact that they may be training and doing their best, but when they go to competitions they don’t get the scores that they had hoped. It happens often and if it keeps happening, kids really start to get discouraged. Helping my kid deal with that discouragement and figuring out if it was time to quit or go forward was a parenting challenge. But in the long run, I think that my daughter learned as much from losing and being a graceful loser as she did from winning. </p>
<p>“In my experience, it doesn’t matter. Kids who were raised with the discipline of daily physical activity are used to setting aside and prioritizing time for physical activity as adults. Kids who don’t grow up this way must learn the daily discipline.”</p>
<p>That is a blanket statement if I ever heard one. </p>
<p>Just one example that this is not always the case:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.tvgrapevine.com/2013-12-12-08-04-11/the-biggest-lost-season-16-cast/9764-the-biggest-loser-contestants-zina-garrison”>http://www.tvgrapevine.com/2013-12-12-08-04-11/the-biggest-lost-season-16-cast/9764-the-biggest-loser-contestants-zina-garrison</a></p>
<p>“Garrison began gaining weight in her 40s, due to no exercise and consuming too many carbs.”</p>
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<p>I could not agree more with the above. Despite what some might think about team spirit and character building, there is no joy warming those wooden or metal benches! And, with teams playing at different levels (speaking about soccer) the key is to find the right balance. It should be first and foremost for the joy of playing, and playing should mean playing in games, especially in the younger years.</p>
<p>The sad reality is that, with the pressure on winning, it is very hard for a coach to rotate his players in tournaments. And, as Hunt said, traveling large distances and spending small fortunes to … have to comfort someone who did not play much or at all, makes no sense. Except for understanding that moving on is the best alternative. </p>
<p>I think you can learn something from losing, or from sitting on the bench. But I think you learn it pretty well the first season it happens to you.</p>
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<p>It meant that, IMHO, the idea that all sports should be the domain of middle or high school is not ideal. There are sports where the pipeline is HS>NCAA>Pro League is well-established, albeit questionable in terms of careers and income generation. In other sports, the rules imposed by the school administration (such as the UIL in Texas for soccer) are nothing but a nuisance. </p>
<p>And one could think about the differences between playing HS baseball versus the Little League. Again, I understand that things might be different in Pensacola or Bergen, and that people might have a different opinion about the intimate relationship between sports and academia. Not to mention that there is a difference between looking at the participation in sports as a general bonus versus the participation at the highest level of the sport. </p>
<p>I’d like to re-direct the conversation back to the original topic, which is SCHOOL sports. Depending on the sport, gender, and geographic region, the school athletics landscape varies quite a bit. But It seems to me that in contrast to extra-school sports–for which one may select a recreational level, a travel level, or a more elite regional or national club level with their varying skill levels, schedules, time and financial requirements–with high school-based sports you can’t as easily buy in at the level of commitment you want. This is a problem with some sports, like football, for which the school team is the only game in town. Pop Warner ends by high school. My kids were runners, and while there are youth track clubs in our area, the competition declines dramatically by high school, when the top kids switch to the school team. Furthermore, in our state kids who are not affiliated with a school team, eg. homeschoolers, are not permitted to compete in the high school xc and track meets. So if you want to play football or run, the school team is it. For kids whose parents don’t have money, their only option might be the school sports, since they are free or only cost a minimal pay-to-play amount.</p>
<p>I see several problems that have made the situation worse recently:</p>
<p>1) The escalating cost of college has caused parents and kids to more desperately seek a magic solution to insufficient savings, by pursuing a sports scholarship (however unrealistic that may be). This leads to the willingness to allow encroachment on family life that previous generations would never have tolerated.</p>
<p>2)The desperation to pay for college, combined with more competitive admissions, leads to kids willing to push themselves extremely hard all year long, which ups the athletic ante for everyone else. Also, in my region immigration has increased the competition quite a bit, especially for individual sports like swimming, golf, and tennis. Since I follow track, I know that some private high schools around here offer diversity scholarships to Africans from a certain region, knowing they are likely to be great runners. In sum, a kid has to be objectively so much better in his sport now, than was the case 5 years ago, in order make the high school team, not to mention place in state competitions. The competition promotes specialization, which in turn leads to high intensity, year-round commitment.</p>
<p>3) Our state’s scholastic governing body just approved allowing coaches to begin official practice one week earlier in August. So now instead of kids being tied down from the third week of August on, they are tied down from the second week of August! Add to that, the fact that the school year around here now extends to late June, due to more bad weather and make-up days, and due to the need for more school holidays to accommodate the ethnic diversity. So if the student wants to get a job, or take a class, or travel, there is very little time for that that won’t entail missing practices… And it’s not like there aren’t also the so-called “captain’s practices” which begin in June. They are supposed to be optional, but usually aren’t in reality. </p>
<p>What I don’t understand is how those teams are able to recruit and retain players who are mostly going to sit on the bench. If you continue to increase the costs of participation, without increasing the benefits, how are you going to get those people? I guess you can entice underclassmen by making them think that eventually they’ll get to play.</p>
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<li>School sports now extend past their season. For example, summer practices used to be just for fall sports teams. Now the winter sports want you there in August too. I know the basketball kids are working out now. And the teams now require attendance at speed and conditioning training in the off season for athletes not doing a different sport. This was not the case when my oldest attended high school a decade ago.</li>
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<p>@eastcoastcrazy: Not quite. I’ll happily admit that there are plenty of kids out there who <em>should</em> be participating at much more active levels than mine whether due to interest, ability, or both. But I will also observe that the number of parents who think their kids are going to get an athletic scholarship for college is significantly greater than the number of kids who actually get scholarships – probably by an order of magnitude or more. </p>
<p>Yeah. I think, at least for the girls, there’s a certain amount of attrition once they do get into NCAA just because it’s the end of the line, really. so, if the travel gets in the way of the academics, the girls will quit. They know they are there for an education first. I’ve seen a couple of girls do this. Really talented, bright girls. But, hey, who can blame them? The “bright” part is what got them into _____________, not just the soccer. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t change the way we did it, since it wasn’t really up to me, but I can see completely how important it is to be playing and enjoying yourself. It’s a huge time commitment to be just sitting on the bench. I would see that as a considerable waste of time.</p>
<p>@Hunt. On my daughter’s team, even the players who rarely played were recruited to play on second tier D1 teams, and a few leveraged it to get in NESCAC schools they couldn’t have gotten into academically. I don’t think either of them is still playing, but they will have a great degree.</p>
<p>OH, and not to ignore the really good points @TheGFG made, I think there is a lot of time use creep in the academic sport environment.</p>
<p>I’m a bit surprised by the reference in the article to a school soccer team in Manhattan because one of the reasons why i prefer living in a city (NYC) is that sports are a lot less important than they are in suburbia. </p>
<p>My offspring preferred other things to sports and a couple of coaches were truly mean and nasty about that. One was my D’s phys ed teacher who made her life miserable for a while. </p>
<p>I think that one problem is that there are kids who really can’t afford the time away from academics. Too many coaches don’t care. Struggling with those AP classes? Then drop down to the easier classes rather than cutting back on practice. </p>
<p>@Hunt - even the trailer for that movie was difficult to watch! I actually cringed, 2-3 times.</p>
<p>SomeOldGuy, I think you misread my post, which was not meant to be taken seriously.</p>
<p>Around my neck of the woods, the state and local rules governing public high school sports tryouts, practices and seasons are quite specific. Every high school follows the same rules and calendar, which is posted online.</p>
<p>The time crunch comes from the travel club teams which are not school based, and can run year-round. Some of those coaches seem to believe they “own” their athletes, and can make participation in other sports or other extra-curricular activities nearly impossible. </p>
<p>Our own “this is crazy” moment has come with marching band. As my youngest (of three) is beginning her last year of high school, she has dropped marching band, which is morphing into a beast of an extra-curricular at our high school. My middle son was easily able to balance a fall sport and marching band. He was a team captain and the drum major, with a few accomodations made by both a coach and the band director allowing him to arrive late or leave early to some practices. He never missed an xc meet or a band competition. But in the years since he graduated the band director has added 70 (!) more hours of practice and several more all day Saturday competitions to the same mid August - early November schedule, and it is no longer possible to play a fall sport and participate in marching band. It is a sad moment, but there are only so many hours in a week!</p>
<p>The carefully crafted rules and regulations that govern our public school sports calendars do not apply to marching band. :)</p>
<p>It’s up to the parents to pressure the public schools when things get unreasonable. Fortunately our public school had a rule: Family First, Academics Second. Sports Third, that was printed on every piece of paper, in the handbook and on the website and we had a few unbelievably good sports teams, but it’s parents that have the power to create that healthy environment in the academic setting. With clubs and leagues you can simply vote with your feet. </p>
<p>The competition can be tough. But that is true with any higher level activity (ask the kid that ends up in the chorus for the fourth year in a row). It can be hard for a kid to give up a high level travel team, but unless there is some way to improve it is often better to move down a notch or go to rec One of my kids was very happy to move down to a less competitive level and be one of the stars of the team. </p>
<p>There are definitely more and more sports that limit top athletes from playing for their HS. However, the drain of talent that was predicted is really not happening because there just aren’t that many nationally competitive teams. Club coaches don’t like HS because the coaching can be poor, the refs do not always properly control the games, and injury potential is higher. If your kid is really likely to get a D1 bid, it may make sense to skip HS but for most kids it makes no sense. </p>
<p>In our state, they are already playing fall sports and school doesn’t start until after labor day. However, my understanding is that the State made the start earlier, but reduced the number of “2-a-days” allowed. What is hard about fall HS sports is the expectation that kids are available in the summer for unofficial practices, fitness sessions, or the weight room. It definitely makes it hard to get a job (no camp counselor if you have to leave in mid-August). And some of those kids will also sit on the bench. </p>
<p>On the other hand, there is something special about playing for your school and having the opportunity to have more people cheer you on than just the parents on the sidelines. The same was true for the marching band competitions (boy was that an eye opener, never knew such a thing existed!) and for being on stage in a school musical. </p>
<p>I know kids in the cities on both the East and West coast that play sports at a very high level and others that play for fun. While more kids may play sports in the burbs, I think you can find competitive teams anywhere. </p>
<p>ECC: kids were never allowed to play a fall sport and be in Marching Band. Interesting that your kid was able to. But for my oldest, it was all good. </p>
<p>This is a little Off topic, but I thought like making a contribution. I take my three adopted-from-China daughters to Chinese school every Saturday morning, a time that conflicts with many sports practices. I can’t think of anything–outside of the basics, of course–that I can give my girls other than the gift of learning their native language. In a weird way I can’t "imagine them’ without their going to Chinese school. They are so obviously Chinese-American, that it seems almost like a disservice to them to deprive them of the opportunity to attend Chinese school for both language and culture classes, including calligraphy. Most of the other adopted girls in my wide neighborhood over the years have whined and dropped out, except for us–my girls know their is no negotiation (the oldest has already graduated and gave her speech in Chinese!)–and another pair of siblings whose single mother is an Assistant DA in the Bronx! How tough is that! She is a formidable woman! We go and compel our girls to get top marks and enter every activity. Well, what prompted my post here is that some time last fall, an email came from the Principal telling us that, as long as the child took the weekly quiz and did the homework, they were allowed six absences a term because the school recognized the conflict in time with sports! Six absences out of 14 weeks? I was absolutely shocked! Half of the kids now come to Chinese school in their soccer gear or softball uniforms. I never participated in sports in school, and can’t grasp at all what is so important about running and kicking. Music lessons, instrument, voice, dancing, kung fu, fencing, painting, sculpturing, and so much more I can understand. But running and kicking? Sadly, I know from insider-whispering (I am Caucasian but a real insider at the school), I know that in the 35 amazing years of existence of the school, the students do far less well than they did 20, 10 years ago. In fact, some are just hanging on and some are failing. The difference is basically that 20 years ago, the parents spoke Chinese at home. Now, those children are the grown adults of new children at home, and they all speak English at home. But I don’t want to be unpopular here, but if we said sports WERE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE EXCUSE and gave much more reading/writing/speaking/listening homework (the kids gets CDs and have to talk each wk into a tape recorder) and raised the level of “acceptable”, the children, who are naturally bright and so ready to learn, would learn much more of something serious, the Chinese language, not how to hit or kick a ball.</p>
<p>“OOS travel are wonderful opportunities to plan family vacations and discover parts of the country. And, yes, you CAN do Disneyland, EPCOT, Disneyworld all the while playing in a tournament. Same thing when playing abroad.”</p>
<p>I, personally, would very much resent my free time and my precious limited vacation time spent only on those destinations that my kid was playing soccer (or whatever) in. It’s presumptuous. And I think it’s a game best played by well-to-do families with SAHM’s and enough spare cash to hire babysitters to watch the younger children while mom and older children gallivant around the country. Which is why it’s such a shell game when those families get scholarships - they could have afforded college costs in the first place. </p>
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<p>Exactly.</p>
<p>But not one girl on my daughter’s team was using it as a way to get money for school. Every single one of them did use it as a way to get into a school with a high prestigiousity (tm hunt) rating. They leveraged it up and got into the single and low double digit places, and they knew they were in early.</p>
<p>It was all about being their version of the perfect SAT. None of them needed the cash.</p>