NY Times: There’s No Off in This Season

Parent Cafe
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<p>I said no to traveling as long as possible. Then S topped out in the local competition and I finally allowed it. I had mixed feelings the whole time. I hated the effect on family life, but S was good at his sport and wanted to play it. I think I ended up in a neither here nor there area: if I had let S play more and earlier, he could be nationally ranked now. He is that good. But I didn’t want to spoil our family life and I worried about burn out, so I held him back. I do take some comfort in looking at the young phenoms who started with S and are now burned out or have hit their peak already. S will likely play in college. No scholarship, but he will make the team and enjoy playing. </p>

<p>FWIW our state and school district limit summer playing time. </p>

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<p>Mom2and said: “ECC: kids were never allowed to play a fall sport and be in Marching Band. Interesting that your kid was able to. But for my oldest, it was all good.”</p>

<p>It was unusual. It stemmed from our long-time former director, who had played sports in high school, and who saw great value in high schoolers being allowed, even encouraged, to participate in both. It was his stated policy, and he worked closely with every fall coach to make it happen for the kids who wanted to do both. He retired partway through my son’s high school years, and the new director, while “mouthing” support for kids doing both, has chopped away bit by bit, year by year at their ability to do so, by adding days and hours to the marching band schedule, and by making it more difficult for the kids to manage the time requirements.</p>

<p>What kills me, is that the former band director lead the marching band to national titles. His marching band was small, and was a required part of participation in the highest level symphonic band (out of three bands). Other band students auditioned to be a part of the marching band. Every member of the marching band could learn and play the music easily, and almost all of them were in the marching band all four years. </p>

<p>Our present band director has boxed himself into a bit of a pickle. He has opened the marching band to all band students (no auditions, also no requirements for any band members to participate) so he has a larger band, but the over-all skill level of the band members is considerably less. So he adds rehearsals, requires all-day practices on some Saturdays, and is less willing to be flexible about individuals arriving late or leaving early (for sports practices or games). The juniors and seniors are dropping out, so he loses continuity and leaders. The band places last in every competition.</p>

<p>In essence, the marching band changed from a small, elite “club” team, to a large, rambling “rec league” team, which would be fine as far as the kids and parents who participate are concerned, but the director is trying to get “elite” results with a “rec” team. It is a mess, and I’m glad to be out of it.</p>

<p>Sorry to derail the thread for a rant, but the ego of a band director can be quite similar to the ego of a coach.</p>

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<p>As long as we are OT, let me just say I love a good marching band. </p>

<p>carry on.</p>

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<p>I feel blessed to say that participation in multiple activities can still be done at select HSs. I just attended an event where the band included several in sports attire. Each band member was able to join their team for each team’s part of the event. Think cheerleaders with flags, a soccer player that kicks for the football team and a football player playing the trumpet. What it takes is coaches, parents, administration and kids that are willing to be flexible and that value ALL ECs. And yes, there are some that go on to play in college and beyond. Probably in about the same proportion as HSs that require specialization. </p>

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<p>For many of the top colleges ( Ivy and Patriot leagues), athletic scholarships are irrelevant. There are plenty of kids who are both academically and athletically gifted, and their sports are what turn colleges heads (4.0 is a dime a dozen. 4.0 plus D1 is less common). </p>

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<p>I grew up in a tiny town where a third of the HS students marched in the band. We had athletes from every sport except the football team, and about half the cheerleaders played in the band too. The town down the road was so small that one of the offensive linemen took off his shoulder pads at halftime and marched with a tuba. </p>

<p>The only time we ever had an issue was when the state XC meet and band finals were on the same day, but the band director was able to get a late afternoon performance time so our two-activity kids could do both. </p>

<p>Needless to say, over-specialization at the HS level was new to me when I moved to the suburban privilege farm where my kids attend school. </p>

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<p>We were fortunate in that club/travel soccer in our area was only year round until HS. Then, club played in the Fall and HS in the Spring. @DEfour‌ - it is interesting that the HS coach wouldn’t allow kids to play club. In our area, if a kid doesn’t play club at a high level coming up, there’s not a chance of making the HS team unless they’re a talented exchange student. S was at a large public (@4000 students) and everything at his HS was uber competitive (sports, chorus, theater, newspaper, etc) and demanded a huge time commitment. They pride themselves on their numerous state championships and awards. My D attended a small private HS at one point, and I loved that kids could participate in so many different activities. One didn’t have to be a super star just to make a team or get a leading role in a play. </p>

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<p>No, its the other way around. The club coach won’t allow the kids to play on the school team. </p>

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<p>You know, if the US national team is okay with Katie Ledecky still swimming for Stone Ridge, your average USSF class E license-holder can get over himself and “risk” having his player exposed to a high school coach for ten hours a week during the fall. </p>

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Perhaps this is off-topic, but my daughter’s experience with this is something I think about when we are discussing the value of going to college with highly accomplished academic peers. When she was on the travel team, she learned excellent soccer skills and had good conditioning. When she first moved to the rec team, she was one of a couple of team stars. She was a midfield playmaker, and could feed the ball to one or two girls who were pretty good strikers. Well, the next season, those strikers weren’t around (one of them moved up),and while D could still feed the ball, the strikers couldn’t finish. If she tried to play striker, nobody could feed her the ball. She could sometimes bring it all the way up and score herself, but gradually her conditioning also began to weaken and she couldn’t run as hard as when she was playing travel. So, by the end, she was one of the better players on the rec team, but wasn’t nearly the player she was right at the time she moved to rec. She still had fun, and got some exercise, so it was worth it relative to the modest time commitment for rec.</p>

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<p>SomeOldGuy: At least in soccer in my northeast state it is only the very few “academy” teams that do not allow players to play for HS. This includes teams affiliated with MLS teams, and a few others. At our big suburban high school, this has literally affected three or four players over the last several years (none of the current seniors play academy). Most Club and rec leagues for HS are spring only to allow fall HS play. </p>

<p>Hunt: There in lies the problem. If they play at an elite level they get great training, but may sit the bench. If they play at the rec level, it may stop being fun if nobody else can play. It can be hard to find the “sweet spot” for a player that is very good but decides Club is too much of a commitment or, while good, does not play at a level where he or she gets enough playing time to make the commitment worth it. </p>

<p>ECC: I actually liked that our MB was pretty open. It gave kids that were musical, but not necessarily great musicians, a chance to participate in a team experience. There is jazz band and symphony, auditioned groups, for the higher level musicians. As for anything, there are positives and negative to having a non-auditioned big band. For kids at our large suburban high school it meant more opportunities for a high quality EC and they still manage to place well in enough competitions. A more elite bad would be more likely to win but would exclude more kids. Overall district policy, not the band director, would not allow kids to participate in MB and a fall sport (it is treated like a sport here and practice times directly conflict). </p>

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<p>My daughter played volleyball since age 12. She played club and then beginning in the 9th grade played on the varsity team - which she played on all 4 years. She played for the same AAU club and was on the 14U travel team when she was in the 8th grade. Traveling all over the country was fun - and we had an advantage - she is an only child so there were not others who were suffering. However, she went to a very rigorous private independent school and she knew she could not study like she needed to and continue to travel. She then still played club, but on a regional team. So we had volleyball year round: summer was camps, fall was varsity and spring was club.</p>

<p>After a successful senior varsity season, she opted out of club volleyball for her senior year. She wanted to participate in a cotillion and just be a second semester senior. Not that she was concentrating on college admissions. She was already SCEA at Yale so she knew where she was going before Christmas.</p>

<p>She is a freshman at Yale and knows that varsity play is beyond what she wants to do so she never even tried to pursue it (so we’ll never know if she was even good enough to make the team). She does, however, plan on trying out for the club team and will definitely play intramural.</p>

<p>As the first year of being away from volleyball, I am going through serious withdrawal. We had a great group of parents that followed both the school and club teams for 6 years. I am going to miss that camaraderie. But I guess that is just one of my adjustment issues with my now empty nest.</p>

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<p>That has happened in North Texas, but to a smaller degree. The “school system” has successfully pushed for a reform that precludes the club team to play championship during the varsity soccer season. The club coaches will routinely “instruct” their players to do their best and not pay too much attention to the tactics of amateur coaches. This said, in schools (think private) where there are no restrictions for a soccer coach to not be a teacher, many of the very successful coaches at the club level are also coaching the top soccer programs. A number of the private schools actually “recruit” students by selling their highly successful soccer programs. An example of this? Check <a href=“http://www.ursulinedallas.org/podium/default.aspx?t=138439&teamid=1341691”>http://www.ursulinedallas.org/podium/default.aspx?t=138439&teamid=1341691&lt;/a&gt; Some coaches also have earned their teaching credentials to be able to coach in the public school systems.</p>

<p>The good news is that the high school soccer season is rather short! :wink: </p>

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<p>For volleyball in our area - club and high school cannot cross. Club tryouts cannot start until the areas high school seasons are over. This is for the Washington DC metropolitan area. My daughter was able to play both successfully for years. Can’t speak for other sports that have year round seasons.</p>

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<p>On the topic of EC’s and college admissions, a friend and I were discussing how drastically the demands and competition can vary from one high school to another. She talked about there being a 100 kids clamoring for a spot on the bowl team at her S’s high school, versus the situation at her niece’s high school where the niece was casually asked to participate by the advisor one day in the hallway. No tryout, no rivals. Furthermore, the niece’s athletic experience was far, far less intense and demanding due to the school size and league they played in. We wondered how much colleges realize how different the same activity can be in different schools. At our school, marching band and fall sports are mutually exclusive, as are clubs and sports. Therefore, it’s harder to develop that seemingly well-rounded school resume that so many others seem to have of marching band, sports AND clubs. And as far as sports go, at our high school a kid simply isn’t going to make the team without some significant prior training in the sport. XC and track used to be no-cut and the refuge of the un-athletic or unmotivated, but no longer. Our boys cross country team had 175 boys try out last fall. Obviously, if someone didn’t run his 40-60 miles daily since June, he was not making the team. At other schools, any warm body who shows up on August 25 will do.</p>

<p>Outside of being aware of some well-known sports or music powerhouses, I doubt college counselors have as much of a handle on this as they should. </p>

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<p>Or perhaps, they have come to the conclusion that analyzing HS sports at the school level is not worth much of their time beyond the participation. JV and varsity participation without state or regional success does not mean much. Aren’t the evaluations by the athletic departments (that might eventually influence admissions) based on a LOT more than HS participation as they rely on championships and times at various meets? </p>

<p>All in all, one angle underscores the well-rounded kids and the other the VERY angular kids. I think we know which ones have much impact in terms of admissions. </p>

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<p>I think college admissions officers recognize that in a large HS there will be more qualified kids for each EC than available spots. For a smaller school, competition will be much less steep. But there is no way of knowing how fierce the competition is in any particular EC in any particular year. Some years the crop of soccer players or actresses may be amazing, while a few years later may be a “re-building season”. That is just how it is, but a good GC can sometimes put this into perspective in a recommendation letter. </p>

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<p>“I am not sure what all these non-sporty kids are doing with their free time, but it seems an awful lot of them (although perhaps not the kids of CCers) are more likely to be sitting in front of an Xbox than exploring in the woods. And not that many families are doing super exciting, enriching activities with their kids every weekend instead of driving to games.”</p>

<p>Wow, what crass assumptions of how any non-sport-playing individuals or non sports-consumed families spend their leisure time…</p>

<p>So what are plenty of “non-sporty kids” doing with their free time? Volunteering in local libraries. Learning photography by snapping shots of their neighborhoods and cities. Helping out as Big Brothers/ Sisters at after school programs. Reading Shakespeare and playacting scenes in their bedrooms. Absorbing great music and finding like-minded enthusiasts online. Teaching themselves guitar or piano. Reading or listening to the news and finding civic or political causes they can latch onto. Giggling over cute kitten videos. Searching, out of fervid curiosity, through their parents’ home libraries for meaty (adult!) passages and chancing upon great, life-changing literature. Contemplating the nature of existence and the origins of the universe. Making origami boxes and friendship bracelets and knitted hats and airplane models. Skateboarding in the middle of empty streets. And, yes, playing in the woods. </p>

<p>All worthwhile pursuits.</p>

<p>And as for those families who aren’t spending their weekends nobly piling in their SUVs for character-building games in far-flung destinations, let me just say that my D’s touching essay about spending a simple Saturday with her father at a white elephant sale (one of our family’s favorite weekend things to do) was what got her into a top-tier university–not her status as captain of the varsity tennis team.</p>

<p>I think this recent trend in sports/ family culture has engendered a sense of misplaced superiority. I think we’ve bought too much into this notion that a perpetual schedule revolving around organized sports is the only way to instill discipline and organization, create a sense of teamwork, and keep our young so busy that they are never at risk of the dreaded unstructured moment which, because of its very unstructured-ness, could slip into–horrors!–wayward behavior.</p>

<p>From 3 in the afternoon until evening, all I see on the road are people driving kids to games. Has anyone considered the environmental cost of all this schlepping? The psychic cost of all this time spent in cars? What’s happened to pick up games in the courts or fields nearby? </p>

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<p>Bravo! Incidentally, the negative assumptions towards non-sporty kids as you’ve discussed and criticized could be encapsulated in the following:</p>

<p><a href=“https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RayYoDP86iY”>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RayYoDP86iY&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>“I am not sure what all these non-sporty kids are doing with their free time, but it seems an awful lot of them (although perhaps not the kids of CCers) are more likely to be sitting in front of an Xbox than exploring in the woods. And not that many families are doing super exciting, enriching activities with their kids every weekend instead of driving to games.”</p>

<p>I am personally very thankful neither of my kids were athletically inclined enough that I had to spend weekends schlepping them to games, which generally bore me to tears. One did play a varsity sport, but it wasn’t time consuming outside the season. </p>