NYU Supplemental Essay

State Forums
1

<p>NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected, and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer NYU? (200-400 words)</p>

<pre><code>For a long time, New York City was only a place that I had read about. I envisioned Lady Liberty on Liberty Island lighting the path for freedom, the Empire State building scraping the clouds, and Central Park being a haven from traffic. All of these landmarks lived up to their name when I visited the city at ten. From that point, I knew that this was where I wanted to be in the future.
</code></pre>

<p>Although I lived in the suburbs, my high school was considered massive, housing nearly three thousands students. The benefits of this was that there was a lot more competition and a lot more activities. The most memorable of the variety of clubs and activities I had attended were Model UN, Math League, and Tri-M Music Honors Society. For Model UN, I had loved the experience of expressing my country’s beliefs and concerns. I felt as though I could make a change in the world when I represented Macedonia at the European Union. I hope to continue these experience by joining the Model United Nations All Squares club.
Math League ignited my competitive edge. I battled with my peers in the challenge to stay on top of the math league leaderboards. I will pursue clubs such as the Philomathean Society and actuarial societies. Another field of interest for me is piano. I started playing classical music when I was five. Ever since my first performance, I felt great to share my music. Tri-M Music Honors Society helped enlighten me on how to share my music even further. I performed at senior centers, school events, and recitals. I cherished those experiences and hope to continue them at NYU by joining clubs such as Make Music and Musicians as Healers. I hope that I can share the pieces I have learned with the community.
NYU is really the perfect school for me. Everything that I want in a university ranging from music clubs to exposure to city life is here. Furthermore, NYU is at the center of the financial world which is where a large portion of actuaries reside. My ultimate goal is to not only to expand my knowledge at NYU, but to leave my footprint on the front step to be remembered. </p>

2

<p>Could someone help me see if there is anything particularly wrong or small edits I could do to make this betteR? Thank you!</p>

3

<p>Here are my thought:</p>

<p>Remove this, doesn’t add to the essay:
Although I lived in the suburbs, my high school was considered massive, housing nearly three thousands students. The benefits of this was that there was a lot more competition and a lot more activities.</p>

<p>In the second paragraph, try to combine sentences (such as the ones below) and convey your idea with less words:
For Model UN, I had loved the experience of expressing my country’s beliefs and concerns. I felt as though I could make a change in the world when I represented Macedonia at the European Union. I hope to continue these experience by joining the Model United Nations All Squares club.</p>

<p>Add in what NYU can offer you. In other words, what NYU-specific curriculum and programs interest you and why?</p>

<p>Lastly, write as if NYU is your first choice, write with passionate and conviction to show them why NYU and you are the perfect fit.</p>

<p>Hope this helps. Best of luck! :)</p>