<p>Oberlin looks like a good fit with excellence in particular programs (psych and neuroscience) but I am getting hung up on a statement on another site where a student described Oberlin as "the island of lost toys." Offsetting that comment is one I saw on CC where an Oberlin student commented that after being at Oberlin for several months, "I find myself feeling less worried about what people think."</p>
<p>Would be interested in comments on the relative occurance of singular vs. wierd at Oberlin from students that are there. I concede that everyone's opinoin on this is just that, a subjective opinion. </p>
<p>Some background will give context: Looking only at LACs with no Greek system. Have not visited Oberlin yet (need to wait until school is back in session) but have visited seven or eight other campuses. At a recent visit to Calreton - which also celebrates quirkyness- it felt that a visible fraction of students were awkward with little confidence in social situations for 19 and 20 year old young adults. Of course, this was not everyone, but I'm mindful of the concept of the tipping point between the normal distribution of shy people in any population versus an unusual concentration.</p>
<p>As a younger person, my D was the one who adopted some "lost toys" in her middle school and high school. In the last year or two, she has decided it is "OK to be normal". </p>
<p>As a parent, I want my D to expand her repitoire of social skills and ability to relate to a wide variety of people. If 40% of the poplulation are committed to thier own quirky world of 6-8 hard core D&D role-playing or Harry Potter reanactments, those folks become mostly ghosts that take themselves out of the mix of the broader campus interaction. </p>
<p>So, seeking comments on how normal vs. quirky vs. weird it is at Oberlin.</p>
<p>I suggest you and your D check out the student blogs at Oberlin</a> - Obie Blogs, and then follow up if you want with questions to the bloggers. That should give you a pretty good indication of a cross-section of actual Oberlin students.</p>
<p>Son just finished his sophmore year at Oberlin. He is kind of quirky, very bright, inquisitive and very social. He is not into the party scene at all. I know that he has a pretty wide circle of friends and participates in quite a number activities from the strange (Zombie Protection Society), to the quirky (Swing Dancing) to the mainstream (theater) to the esoteric (orchestra and chamber music). </p>
<p>His biggest complaint about Oberlin is that many of the students have no tolerance for different political opinions. He is a pretty left leaning kid from a pretty left leaning community and left leaning high school but he finds himself frustrated that many of the lefties ridicule and dismiss anyone with a different opinion. He thinks an open college should be more tolerant of a diversity of political views. </p>
<p>Otherwise, he loves the place. He works really hard and finds his classes very challenging but does find time for the above activities. While I am sure there are likely kids who keep to themselves or a small circle of friends, I don't have the feeling that this is the norm.</p>
<p>Shennie amd Cardinal Fang - thanks. Dave72, I will check out the videos. Shennie, I appreciate your commmenting on the the fraction of students that choose to demonize those who disagree agree with the campus majority. It is seems hard for campuses to maintain that balance of progressive, yet open-minded attitudes. I like description of you son's activities : in my small-minded provincial outlook, I'd say the Zombie Protection Society is downright weird, swing dancing is quaint (it is a lot of fun) and orchestra and chamber music are strenuous, commendable mainstream pursuits. </p>
<p>Cardinal Fang - (I love the Monty Python moniker-- "no not the soft cushions!!") We've looked at six or seven LACs, but to tell you the truth, just spending 4-5 hours on the campus is not adequate to get a true feel. Now I know better: one must invest an overnight and arrange meetings with students in relevant majors and clubs. If you are looking for that "Island of Lost Toys" school for Fang Jr., my observation is that there are many, many LACs that are friendly, safe and encouraging for Lost Toys. What I did was start by looking for schools with no or minimal Greek life. Please identify whether Fang Jr. is more of an artist or science person and whether there is a strong regional preference. I've become aware of many LACs and will try to feed you 2-3 names to get started. For my D, I just want to side-step the College for the Revenge of the Lost Toys. .</p>
<p>Lobo from Lyons - wanted to mention, also, that my son is majoring in biology and math, with minors in French and chemistry. I think the thing he really loves about Oberlin is that he can pursue is interest in science while still heavily indulging his artsy side. He has been hired by one of the bio labs there for the summer and is going to be spending his time extracting plant DNA.</p>
<p>I think that many Oberlin students have the opinion that students are a bit more awkward in the social skills department. There are certainly students that are more awkward and sort of weird; however, I feel like they are the exception. There are lots of "normal" people at Oberlin and I think it's surprisingly diverse in the different types of people there are on campus. You have a complete choice to hang out with who you want to as well, so you can gravitate to those who you feel more comfortable around. I think there is a lot of quirkiness, but it's in a positive way (not always the whole D&D thing) and students often have a variety of interests. The statement "I find myself feeling less worried about what people think" is also very true. That's mostly because Oberlin is very accepting and tolerant of all types of people (except, as pointed out above, conservatives), and you don't feel like you constantly need to fit in somewhere but can live your life as you to.</p>
<p>Fang Jr. is neither an artist nor a scientist-- very strongly not either of those (so maybe Oberlin is not the place for him). He loves history and politics. He's a nerdy guy who loves to play D&D and board games. So far he has found that Beloit is appealing. He liked Macalaster too, and will be checking out Kalamazoo in the fall. Bates, Bowdoin and Earlham are also on his list.</p>
<p>I think there's a difference between concious geekery and social inability, but both fall into the "lost toys" category.</p>
<p>I think most Obies have some level of nerd cred, or some understanding of it. There's something compulsively nerdy about most artsy kids / overachievers / smartypants. I think a significant portion of us were into Golden Compass, D+D, World of Warcraft (noooo...), comics, competative sports, history, acadec, science olympiad, mock trial, Frank Herbert novels, forensics... Most Obies are serious music nerds. </p>
<p>At the same time, most Obies can hold a conversation, dance and have fun... though fun may involve a long conversation about eastern philosophies and gender roles, dancing for 5 hours straight, or shooting a film. You also have folks who LARP (live action role play) and still hang out with varsity athletes. Geekery does not condemn or signal low social status, the way it does in high school.</p>
<p>After high school's stresses, I felt like a heavily-worn, totally lost toy, the kind without any stuffing left. Because of Oberlin, I don't feel that way anymore. I'm still plenty weird, but it's no longer detrimental, or overwhelming. I'm happy to be weird.</p>
<p>Obie students that have responded thus far: thanks very much for your helpful feedback. It has helped me refine my criteria in what I'd like my D to experince. To wit: Nerds that are comfortable and happy with thier nerd factor = good. Nerds that are self-conscious to be nerds = not good. Nerd pride and nerd cred will generally mean an willingness to engage others. Shame about being a nerd will generally mean lots of avoidance of others or much hiding behind shells. It could be that Oberlin is transformative, a place where a student who may start as self-conscious about nerdiness but over time becomes much more comfortable about it, opening themseleves up to other people more frequently. </p>
<p>Obies, can you comment on the preceeding sentence?</p>
<p>Cardinal Fang: With Fang Jr's interest in history and politics, Macalater sounds like an excellent match. I know that Beloit has a large % international student population, and that is a plus -- but I don't know a lot more about Beloit other than it is "good". We visited K'zoo and I found thier emhapsis on hands on opporutnites to be quite compelling - very important for people interested in politics to get an early exposure to the "real world" and see how the textbook theory is fares in the real-life crucible of money and power. </p>
<p>Fang Jr. might also want to check out Pitzer in CA. Very progresive scene and next door at Claremont-McKenna College are the Jr. MBA's and lawyers . Easy cross-registration between the two. Access to CMC's well-regarded goverment classes and migling with students at both Pitzer and CMC will expose Fang Jr. to a wider specturm of thought than a lefty-dominated campus like Oberlin, Mac, etc. No way to prepare for a debate than to know thy opponent. After sparring with the CMC kids, Jr.can go back to the dorm at Pitzer and collaborate on how to stick it to the Man.</p>
<p>All this talk about nerds and quirkiness...there are plenty of non-nerdy, non-quirky students at Oberlin -- the students seem friendly and articulate, intelligent, often passionate about their interests (e.g., environmentalism, music). I don't know what a "lost toy" is, but it doesn't ring much of a bell. There are plenty of valedictorians, editors of high school journals and newspapers, talented performers in various arts -- the kinds of kids who could go anywhere but chose Oberlin for its academic strength, its history of social activism, its commitment to preserving the environment, its strong cooperative dining and living tradition, its wealth of musical offerings...</p>
<p>Lobo-- Yes, Pitzer would make sense, but Fang Jr couldn't stand the appearance or the location. Some people hate snow; he hates southern California. It takes all kinds.</p>
<p>Mamenyu is exactly right. I don't think many Oberlin students actually fit the weird/quirky label, though many of them would like to think they do. They're creative, free-thinking, and passionate about education--which means that they were often outside the mainstream in their high schools, which leads them to think of themselves as weird. But they're certainly not "lost toys," if I understand how you're using the term.</p>