<p>I think some would even debate if the word, “H.E.L.L.” is a curse word, particularly in this context. Substituting it for “heck” in asking “how the heck?” seems like a slang type of expression, more so than using the word as a curse word, such as in “go to ____!!”</p>
<p>Basically, what happened was that she gave her speech to the school, the school approved the speech she submitted, and she purposely flipped the script. </p>
<p>She knew, that if she had submitted the speech that she said the school would have asked her to edit it. She would have been better off submitting her original wording and have fighting to keep her speech unedited, but she knew that under those conditions, she would not have been able to give a speech and it was important to her to give a speech, which is why she submitted a speech with the word heck.</p>
<p>While to me, what she said was not a big deal (and not worth holding her diploma over), what she did was grimmy, sneaky and she was disrespectful to the administration for flipping her script at the last minute. </p>
<p>She does have a little bit of character flaw hanging out there (because she wasn’t a person of her word to deliver the speech that she presented). There is no right way to do something that you know is wrong and character is who you are when no one is watching.</p>
<p>Riddle me this: When was the last time that your child gave you a response of “how the hell do I know” and you were ok with the response.</p>
<p>She doesn’t need the diploma. It is a piece of paper. She has her transcript that says she completed the requirements. She has a full scholarship at a state u.</p>
<p>That said, there are two things that bother me about this story–#1. Inspired by “Twilight.” (please. . .)</p>
<h1>2. Why doesn’t she just write a simple apology? Instead, parents are calling the media and making a scene. If this were MY kid, I’d tell him/her to write a short note of apology “I’m sorry I deviated from the approved script of my speech. It won’t happen again,” and trade one piece of paper for another. If the kid refused, so be it. Just leave the diploma on the desk and shut up about it.</h1>
<p>She should admit that she was (slightly) in the wrong–she did say something that wasn’t approved. She should learn that there are times when someone has authority over you, and if you disagree/disobey, you need to face the consequences (which may seem too harsh in your opinion–but you still must face them.)</p>
<p>The principal is probably concerned about the school’s image in front of grandparents, younger siblings, etc. who were attending graduation. (Maybe someone complained or he heard negative comments?) Not that I think the word itself is " BAD" but she needs to consider the occasion and her audience. It was poor judgment on her part and not a good example to younger students. Saying the unapproved word= small mistake. Writing apology=small punishment.
I think it was reasonable for the principal to ask for an apology. And it would’ve been a very simple thing for her to write one.</p>
<p>That is what I DO think she did wrong. She was rude and sneaky, for sure. But, not because she used a swear word. If we assume this was intentional, it is true that she didn’t follow through on what she had agreed. </p>
<p>Although, that does bring up a whole 'nother issue regarding why the valedictorian is required to only give a state-sanctioned address. But I digress…</p>
<p>Nevertheless, her diploma should have been forked over, and THEN a request for an apology issued. </p>
<p>She is now an ADULT who used what some consider a profane word (though of course Hell is the understood home of the Devils, so the irony is not lost on me here) in a PUBLIC venue. Maybe distasteful, but as an adult citizen, she had every right to do it (she didn’t swear AT anyone, or threaten anyone) and her diploma shouldn’t have been denied for that minor mistake, when other much more serious “crimes” were given a pass. </p>
<p>Surely she was not even the first student that WEEK who opted not to follow through on some agreement with a teacher or administrator. But I’m guessing since there weren’t witnesses to these other “rule” violations/breeches of agreements, the bullies didn’t feel the need to deliver a lesson. It’s TOTALLY hypocritical. </p>
<p>If you work for a private company, your boss can mete out a lot of punishments for your speech or behavior–EXCEPT he can’t withhold a paycheck for work you’ve already done. He could ask for an apology, but he can’t keep your paycheck until desired apology is delivered. </p>
<p>She did the work. Give her the diploma.</p>
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<p>This is not an unusual request, it is probably pretty standard practice at most public schools that anyone giving a speech must run that speech by the administration. Student did not hold up her end. If she was so determined to live and die by her speech, she could have “stood her ground” and said that she was not delivering a speech (fat chance of that happening).</p>
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<p>Your boss doesn’t have to ask for an apology, they can put a letter in your file, suspend you with out pay or numerous other things. In the work place (especially where there is at will employment), they could just simply terminate your employment and it is not mandatory that they give you severance</p>
<p>^^^ Unless you are covered by a contract you can be fired for any reason or no reason at all. However, even if you are fired, you are entitled as a matter of law to be paid for the work you have been completed.</p>
<p>Sybbie: I am aware that having speeches approved by the administration is now the norm. Just not sure I am comfortable with that requirement. I have mixed feelings here. At my own son’s graduation, one of the valedictorians railed on the “system” for her entire 6 minute speech. Since then, all speeches have to be approved. But I do have to wonder at what point do we let the now-adults who’ve gone through the “system” say what they want? Anywhere, but on the grounds of the institution where they were educated? I wonder if that is not too big a price to pay to avoid the rare instances when there would be a major problem. </p>
<p>And, regarding the potential repercussions from the employer: I get all that (worked in HR for 4 years)…I’ve got no problem with the district doing any of those things…add whatever letters they want to her file. Fine. Point is, the “paycheck” is still hers.</p>
<p>Any school that has “the Red Devils” as its mascot has no room to talk.</p>
<p>I don’t even consider hell a swear word, frankly.</p>
<p>So a young lady uses a word in a speech that you can hear in every church on Sunday and the principal withholds her diploma, for which he has no legal justification. Yet SHE is the one who is suppose to apologize?</p>
<p>High school is second only to prison in denying its “inmates” basic First Amendment rights. When the warden-principal gives one of these departing inmates a chance to speak to her peers in public, he’s the fool to think he can always fully control the message: Not every val actually drinks the administration’s Kool-Aid, there are always a few that just learn to play the game really well.</p>
<p>Sure she said the word on purpose; the question is why? Top students don’t do this to people they treasure as friends and mentors. But tweaking the nose of a controlling tyrant or pompous buffoon as you’re heading out the door? Yea, I can see it. There’s more to this story than meets the eye.</p>
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<p>Actually, this is not true. The transcript is simply a listing of courses the student completed. </p>
<p>While the transcript is proof that the student has completed the requirements for graduation, the diploma is the document issued by an educational institution, such as a school/university, testifying that the recipient has earned a degree or has successfully completed a particular course of study (and is considered legal documentation from the state department of education that one has done this). This is the reason that some colleges ask for both as proof that the student has indeed graduated high school.</p>
<p>There are usually 2 discharge dates on a high school transcript; one is the discharge date (the date the school releases the student from their roster), the other is the graduation date (usually when the diploma is received, in most cases it is the last day of the school year, not the date of the ceremony).</p>
<p>Attending graduation does not make one a graduate, as many schools and colleges will allow students to participate in the spring commencement ceremonies even though they will not actually receive a diploma until the summer or the following semester.</p>
<p>Right now, the school has not issued the student in question a diploma. While I do agree that they are killing an ant with a sledge hammer, but the fact remains, that if the college were to contact the high school, the high school could truthfully state that while the student completed the requirements for graduation, she was not issued a diploma (making her a non-grad).</p>
<p>Depending on what the school or the district’s discipline policy is, the school could be very much within their right to withhold the diploma.</p>
<p>In my estimation, this is such a minor violation that it merited an eye-roll, and, at most, the principal saying–directly to her–that she shouldn’t have changed the words that were approved. Witholding the diploma is such an overreaction that it makes the school look stupid, even though it was (initially) in the right.</p>
<p>As for the girl, the publicity will probably help her more than hurt her in the long run.</p>
<p>Her parents are doing her a disservice by publicly supporting her actions and not using this incident to help her learn an important lesson about life. The world is full of petty tyrants and bullies. She will find them at college, at work, and in her church or other organizations. She intentionally poked a bully in the eye by submitting the speech one way and delivering it another. She should have expected the school to take some action.</p>
<p>The lesson could be about not starting a fight you aren’t equipped to win decisively, or about putting up with minor irritants in order to keep things running smoothly. </p>
<p>If the father wants to teach is daughter that everyone always can be made to treat her fairly, he’s setting her up for failure.</p>
<p>The school wants a letter of apology. It’s stupid, but easy. She should write it.</p>
<p>She did win the fight, unless she somehow has some repecussions with college. She made the principal look like an idiot in the public eye. Or rather, he did that.</p>
<p>sybbie, I’m curious: what colleges require a student to show the actual physical high school diploma? I’ve never heard of this before (except that in the UC system newly hired professors are required to show a physical copy of their PhD diploma, translated into English if need be). </p>
<p>Seems to me that the news story is going to be sufficient proof that her diploma actually exists. It seems ludicrous to me that a college would not consider the young woman a high school graduate because the diploma exists but has not actually been given to the young woman. D1 didn’t pick up her high school diploma until the end of her freshman year of college. I suppose that during that time she was something like Schrodinger’s Cat, in a non-collapsed indeterminate superposition of the “grad” and “non-grad” wavefunctions. 
Heaven only knows what would’ve happened if she’d ignored the summons to pick up her diploma, only to have the school toss it. She’d have been trapped in that state forever, like Captain Kirk in the Tholian Web. 
:D</p>
<p>Getting an official transcript in the future may be the more significant problem, as her high school will likely freeze the release of her records. I am not sure if she will ever need that document anymore, but I seem to recall both of my kids needing a copy for something at least once after high school graduation.</p>
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<p>The only time that’ll come up from what I’ve seen is if she wanted to transfer to another university or get additional scholarships during her first year as an undergrad. If she stays at her current university to graduation and/or has an above average or better college transcript, this won’t come up. </p>
<p>I’ve never seen nor known of anyone who has been asked for their high school transcript otherwise…or moreso their diploma for anything beyond their first year in college. After the first year, it’s the college transcript they are after…not high school. </p>
<p>Since graduation, the only times high school ever comes up IME is regarding reunions and alum career/social networks. Neither of those really involves those involved with the school administration.</p>
<p>At our kids’ former HS, the school wanted COMPLETE control over content & heavily editted the speeches kids were giving. One of the speakers (we knew the parents) decided to give the speech HE wanted that he had originally written BEFORE their edits. He memorized and gave THAT speech. After graduation, he & his parents were called into the headmaster’s office & lectured. The parents supported kiddo’s choice and the HS ultimately left it at that “stern talking to.” Personally I’m sure his speech was much better than the sweet pre-fab, “approved” speeches fare that the HS wants the kids to recite. We never heard it but was outraged with his folks at the amount of control the school exerted on what was passed off as STUDENT speeches & scolding the school gave.</p>
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<p>Hunt, that is a matter of perception. From my vantage point, this is a Dumb and Dumber case. While I think the school is showing a pretty usual stance of overreaching, the fact remains that refusing to write a token apology and taking the “fight” to the press is dumber by a mile – for the reasons I described earlier. Why spend years building a stellar resume to have it destroyed by a childish and immature stance? And where were the parents in this? Oh yes, they were yapping with the press to get some sympathy. </p>
<p>As far as getting more positives than negatives, I seriously doubt that, as there are no positives in this story. She still created animosity with her school, and there are plenty of people who might not look kindly at a person who obviously decided to not only bend the rules (the speech change) and then refused to “make up” with a simple token of contrition. </p>
<p>To make it simple, were I to sit on an internship committee or decide on a work-study job at my university, and I heard about this story through the student, the school, or the media, I’d simply pick another candidate. Without a hesitation, as I am sure I’d find someone with similar qualifications, and a whole lot more common sense and maturity.</p>
<p>We may not like the rules schools imposed on Val speeches, but then there are plenty of rules one has to abide by. The key is to do the best one can to overcome what appears to be stupid. At 18, we do think that ALL rules are stupid and made to be broken as we believe that adults will ALWAYS come to our defense (when caught) and that the repercussions will amount to nothing. Until the day that something really bad happens! </p>
<p>The inclusion of hell over heck is really not the point here. That is the trivial part. The main part is that the school selected this student to make the school proud. And the parents. This thing could have been buried in an instant, as opposed to find its way to the airwaves and the web!</p>
<p>Xiggi, I SERIOUSLY doubt that she has created any animosity with anyone at her school, other than the principal. I’d be willing to bet my last dollar that her previous teachers are now her biggest supporters.</p>
<p>And, I believe that overt acts of bullying, extortion and stupidy perpetrated on the “little guy” by “the man” should be public knowledge.</p>
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Well, I’d do the opposite–I like people with a little backbone. She’ll have to see if the people she encounters are more like you or me–if any of them know or care about this at all.</p>