<p>I find this somewhat harsh. My kids come home for Thanksgiving. One has the whole week off and the other is in medical school and doesn’t get a whole week off. This year he flew in for a very short time. His choice. The only time that my side of the extended family gathers together is Thanksgiving. There is no chance to see them all at Christmas. Last year the patriarch of our family died and neither of my far-away boys could make the quick funeral. It was extremely important to them to see these relatives and to be with family the first Thanksgiving after that. Neither missed school, but I would not judge a family that makes the decision to prioritize family over school. You don’t know what the circumstances are. There may be families with divorce and custody where the only time a kid gets to see siblings with that parent is around Thanksgiving. I don’t blame you for being frustrated. But I do think you are wrong that it’s about a kid not wanting to be there or a mom pulling strings. And I think the young-adult years are when kids do begin deciding for themselves what matters.</p>
<p>At $15k/quarter, $1.5k/week, $300/day for tuition?R&B we thought long and hard. The killer was that they came back to school for a week and then finals. Sorry but it didn’t happen in all four years. Now that he’s working we do fly him home for Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>While it is true there may be extenuating circumstances, most profs will work with students in those cases. However, when you are required to hold class, and you realize the majority of your students find it “inconvenient” and don’t show, that does send a message about what the students - and their families - have for priorities. Students who have to travel long distances often feel they should be given a pass on those days - but why? Is it fair to the professors, or the kids who live closer? What is the distance cut-off to say “it’s OK to skip class?” Is the professor responsible for taking time away from his/her family to catch the student up on what they missed when they chose to travel early? (Hint - students often think so!) Planning holidays and breaks should be part of the decision process when a school is chosen. This thread isn’t about kids visiting their non-custodial parent over a specific holiday - it’s about, before school even starts, planning to cut classes for more convenient/affordable travel.</p>
<p>Don’t assume anything. S’s school had the whole week off. And S had no classes on Fri. that semester. So I thought Thurs. evening flight would work. He ended up having class/exam on Thurs. evening until 8:45 pm. I changed the flight to the next morning instead of having S ask prof to take exam early. My other kids who were long distance and only got 2 or 3 days off for Thanksgiving did not come home. Thanksgiving seems to be more of a special family holiday in some parts of the country than others. Our family doesn’t make much of it, but I know some do.</p>
<p>I know OP mentioned buying return ticket now and holding off on the other. If you buy Southwest, you can change with no penalty, so you could buy both ways now. You do need to pay any fare difference at time of change. At least that’s been my experience. </p>
<p>I don’t think people are being harsh here. Another college prof here, finding these questions more and more common–twenty years ago, I would not have heard them. Now I get choruses of “my mom wants…” “my dad says I need to leave…” it’s epidemic. And it displays a disrespect for education. I think this thread has prompted me to write my lowering tolerance for these “convenience” pleas into my syllabus next fall.</p>
<p>I hear you. As I said, my kids have never missed school to come home early. I will say that I have to send them back on Saturday in order to keep the price down. Every day you get closer to Thanksgiving you can expect the price of airfare to rise accordingly. And the Sunday after is also very high. </p>
<p>Although, now that I think about it, my son did miss one class the day before spring break in order to catch a flight. I didn’t want him to and the original plan was for him to go to most of the class and just take off a few minutes early, but I think he ended up not going. His choice. I’m not there to stand over him and tell him to go to class or to judge if he makes the decision not to (and he’s very good about going to class compared to his peers). That’s between him and his professor. He wanted – and it was him not me – to take an earlier flight as he was visiting his brother for a very few days and didn’t want to lose a whole day of seeing him (the next flight was many hours later). And he didn’t make the decision until he knew what he would miss and how the professor would feel.</p>
<p>I cringe now to think that I asked profs to let me take exams early two years in a row, so I could leave early for Thanksgiving break! I was at UT-Austin and my boyfriend was at MIT. I wanted to visit him! I guess I was lucky, because my profs were accommodating.</p>
<p>It was a few weeks after my second visit to Boston that my boyfriend dumped me at Christmas! That was a hard lesson.</p>
<p>And my kid who went to college 3000 miles from home resumed classes the Monday after New Years…again a mighty expensive travel time. My other kid is a musician. He flies home on Christmas Day after he plays the morning church service. And yes, it’s expensive.</p>
<p>We haven’t had both kids home for Thanksgiving since 2006. We knew this when DD decided to go to college 3000 miles from home. Thanksgiving just wasn’t going to be a happening at our house. And she had the whole week off. But really…the expense of flying round trip for thanksgiving, and then again about December 9’when exams ended was just ridiculous. So she stayed in CA for Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>I know of no one who took the entire week of Thanksgiving off during my undergrad years. </p>
<p>Not only would that have not been taken well by faculty, many classmates themselves would regard that as seriously weak. Especially considering my LAC already have a “Fall break” in late October which is one full week and finals are only a week or so away from Thanksgiving week. </p>
<p>Personally, while my extended does hold Thanksgiving dinners, it was understood the college/grad students may be too busy preparing for finals/final term papers…especially considering many schools do hold finals just a couple of weeks or less after Thanksgiving weekend. </p>
<p>In my mind, why subject oneself to stresses from travel and logistics involved for just a few days when finals are right around the corner when the end of the semester is in sight and after finals, one can come home and be with family sans background worries about college academic work/finals? </p>
<p>I recently asked my soon to be college freshman if I should look into a ticket home for Thanksgiving. Her answer was an emphatic “No.” She doesn’t want to be traveling all weekend. Thanksgiving has never been a big deal with our extended families, some years it works out that we get together, other years it doesn’t. </p>
<p>I did book her trip home for Christmas break. The calendar was clear that the last make-up finals are the day before the dorms close at noon. She’s booked for the last morning. She’ll return after the dorms reopen, a couple days before classes start in January.</p>
<p>I seem to be with the majority here, I couldn’t imagine planning for her to miss classes for travel.</p>
<p>Personally, I wouldn’t have nearly the same issues of missing the first few days of classes in a given term as I would about missing classes at the mid-end of the term…especially if midterms/finals are right around the corner. Especially considering many college students are in add/drop mode during those first-few days. </p>
<p>This is freshman comp. they can’t move these classes around where I teach. we hit the ground running, and those absences count. (plus, they want me to go over the syllabus and everything they missed.)</p>
<p>He or she probably got the message real quick. Can’t remember a time when the cc community was so unanimous in its opinion! </p>
<p>That said, I’m another instructor who always plans some sort of assessment the class periods before Thanksgiving. Students aren’t going to go home for a holiday and study. Planning one for after can be disastrous! </p>
<p>I’ve had to change attendance policies a lot in recent years because students want more and more “time off” from class. </p>
<p>The OP hasn’t had any activity on CC since starting this thread…so hasn’t even read these responses…unless,they are doing so with a different screenname.</p>
<p>I taught a class last fall. Granted it was a once a week class, 3 hours, but I had planned very precisely what was going to be covered each week, and it usually was an entire chapter/topic of our management science textbook. Missing “just one class” would have been 1/10 of the material, and an entire topic, once you figure in the classes I spent on exams and review. College is NOT like high school.</p>