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<p>This comment is so wrong in so many ways. How the hell do I even insinuate that I’m better than leila? Just because I go to Duke and she goes to Indiana? Does that mean I’m inferior to a Mr. Harvard? You seem to have a fundamental problem in expressing yourself and understanding the situation at hand.
I actually recognize that I have a problem and I try to solve it here. If you have a problem with that, then stay away from my threads.</p>
<p>Hi John. I read through your other thread about how you felt disgusted with yourself for feeling superior to your classmates, many of whom were mean to you and belittled you for working hard. A lot of people were very harsh to you there, but I don’t think it’s necesarilly a personality defect, as one person termed it. I think you’ve just had a very sheltered life.</p>
<p>A lot of people from my school go to a local university or the local CC, and the better ones go to our state school, which is actually quite good for engineering. It may be hard not to feel superior, but I think you need to realize that no person is <em>better</em> than another. Yes, you are more accomplished for getting into Duke, but that doesn’t necessarily make you better than them. </p>
<p>You probably don’t belive in the importance of background and environment–I didn’t either at first. But when I really think about it, I’m very lucky that both of my parents are from a culture where education is highly valued. A very good friend of mine has a father who is a drunkard. Things like this make it hard for some people to value education and place it highly like you do. Also, I go to a public school, so there are a lot of people who aren’t well off financially. They have to get jobs, and one very smart girl I know works every night from 4-11 pm. She’s going to a rather mediocre school now, but I still admire her for being able to juggle everything she does and keep up her grades.</p>
<p>sorry, post continued:</p>
<p>…But she does party a lot and it would be easy for someone to look down on her for going only to a middle level school.</p>
<p>I, like you, was very happy to be accepted into Duke. I was proud of myself for getting in somewhere with only a 13% acceptance rate. I think at first, I was almost gleeful. For a moment, I might have felt superior. And to be honest, part of the reason I did decide to go to Duke was because it was selective. Don’t get me wrong, there were many other reasons as well, but this was a small one. Yet, I soon realized that getting into a school and going there are worlds apart. I am in the upper middle class, so I did not receive any financial aid. For quite some time, I thought I would have to go to my state school, and take the scholarship I received there. Inwardly, I felt very bitter for a long time, because I thought I should be better than that school. </p>
<p>Duke did work out eventually, but I think the few weeks in which I thought I could not go there taught me a valuable lesson in humility. It seems like you haven’t really been exposed to the other harsher side of life where things don’t quite work out like they always should, a side that these people that you look down upon are exposed to all the time. I remember all year looking down on my guidance counselor who seemed like an idiot and who went to the our local university. But I found out at the end of the year that Cornell was always his dream school, and that he wasn’t able to afford it. I used to feel I was entitled to go to Duke because of how hard I had worked, but now I feel very lucky and thankful that I can go there. I know that it will put a huge strain on my parents financially, and this experience I think, has humbled me and wiped out any feelings of superiority.</p>
<p>Another boy I knew was one I used to look down upon. He partied a lot, never worked hard in school, was a player, and was very popular. He was going to play football for a very low level school, and it’s easy to look down on him without knowing anymore. But I also found out that he was probably good enough to play football at a division I or DII school and a much higher ranked one, except he was inelligible because his guidance counselor gave him faulty advice and he didn’t take enough English classes. Imagine how bitter he must feel! Yet I’ve never heard in complain, he still continues with his preppy partying lifestyle, and acts genuinely excited about where he’s going. Though, I can only imagine how angry he must be on the inside that he was cheated of what he deserved. Remember, no one is entitled to anything no matter how much they deserve it. And though it worked out for you and me, it doesn’t work out for a lot of people, and not everyone publicizes it. </p>
<p>Also, have you considered that the people you mention think they’re all that for going to CC as a defense mechanism? Yes, they probably know that Duke is a much better school, but to them, in their worlds, CC is the best they can do. Feel compassion for them, don’t look down on them so much. </p>
<p>And finally, someone told me once that college (he was talking about UChicago, but I think this applies to Duke also) is a very humbling experience. A lot of people enter from high school having been valedictorian, feeling very superior, and feeling as though they can do very well in all the classes. But your first year, you are exposed to so many brilliant people and usually get much lower grades (or have to work much much harder than you did before). The way he put it, your confidence is totally destroyed, though you’ll begin to bounce back sophomore year. Maybe this was a little extreme, but I think college will be a good expereince for you.</p>
<p>^Thanks for the post, mermaid. I really love this. You are awesome.</p>