<p>He has two weeks left until finals and is stressed out beyond reason. He has about a 2.7 GPA and claims he is studying all of the time. He says he goes to office hours and feels terrible because everyone is smarter there than he is. He is at a very hard school and his SAT scores are not in the top half of students in engineering there. The university he is at is known for grade deflation and the students there are very bright.It is a very large, prestigious, public university known for grade deflation with a very competitive student body. He feels he is always asking for help and never can help anyone else. He stays up all night to finish homework, then falls asleep in the other classes. He is taking a thermodynamics class, differential equations, and a circuits class. He always feels like he is in over his head. I kept thinking the first two years would be the hardest, but it has only gotten harder. I am sad because I am sure if he was at a less competitive university, or a smaller one, he would probably be fine, but its just that he is not up to the competition. We talked for an hour and I suggested he talk with an adviser engineering and also talk to the counseling center. I told him he can always call me too!! I love him an only want him to be happy!! </p>
<p>Please advise and help if you have any experience or suggestions.
Thanks!</p>
<p>Perhaps he needs to think about switching majors. Every word you wrote was stated by my child before switching out of Biology as a major. The low GPA began to rise much higher afterward and the stress level decreased dramatically. Unless he is passionate about mechanical engineering, change majors. It’s common.</p>
<p>Engineering is tough and what you are describing is honestly no different than what my D expressed to me several times during her engineering studies. I hate to say this, but it’s not going to get easier and the stress will likely increase as students will be competing for internships and ultimately jobs. I don’t think it’s uncommon in the first or second year to consider changing majors, but what year is your son in now? </p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with going to office hours - that’s why they have them. He should go as often as possible, even if he thinks he understands the material - get some validation of that from the prof or TA. </p>
<p>Does he have any study groups to work with? They can be a huge help. Is he in danger of failing any courses this term? </p>
<p>I hope he takes your suggestions and talks with both his adviser and the counseling center. Good luck. I know this is a tough place to be in as a parent. </p>
<p>Changing majors this late in the game is going to just cost more money (unless money is not a concern). It seems like he is a soph or junior.He will be adding more years to get an undergrad degree. Having said that, if he is really unhappy, then he should maybe consider switching majors. Colleges have ample resources for help and tutoring and they want kids to succeed. He may need a private tutor. He should not feel bad because he is asking for help and cannot reciprocate. That doesn’t matter in the least bit. And you don’t know for sure that if he was at a less competitive place that he would be fine. Engineering is a very tough discipline and competitive, and graduating with this degree is a big accomplishment. But if he does not like the competitiveness, it’s not going to be “better” anywhere else. I wouldn’t worry about the GPA. It doesn’t matter that much. He’s a B-/C+ student in engineering. That’s not bad at all. As parents, we all want our children to be happy, well adjusted and successful, but we are not responsible for their grades or their choices or their happiness. He needs to figure this out for himself with his advisors and the resources the college has.</p>
<p>Speaking from experience: I have a mech E degree from Purdue when women in engineering was very rare (I’m dating myself here!) and I happened to run across my transcript the other day when I was in my safety deposit box and I was reminded that, yes, I did get a few C’s and A’s and B’s too. It didn’t hinder me a bit, but built lots of character. Tough majors are stressful, it’s a fact of life. He needs to keep everything in perspective.</p>
<p>I was an engineering student way back when, and can appreciate the difficulty your son is having. I think there are a couple of things you should encourage him to consider in making the decision… is he struggling with all of his classes, or are there just specific disciplines that are problems? If so, perhaps engineering is ok but he should consider a different major within engineering. They are quite different. Despite the challenges, does he enjoy his classes and does he seem to like what he is learning? Is he still engaged in the field or simply slogging through unable to see the forest through the trees? If it is hard but he still likes and is committed to the major, then perhaps stick with it. Likewise - if he is struggling in all of the engineering classes AND is not enjoying it - then I would think he should consider switching majors. While he might lose some time he will gain sanity and happiness. Most important - he needs to get in to see an advisor ASAP. Not only can the advisor help him work through whether or not he should stay in engineering, they should be able to help him identify alternative majors that will leverage the courses he has already completed. </p>
<p>Does the college offer tutorial services for students? Most do. It might be a little late for this term, but he should sign up for a tutor for each course that is potentially problematic next term.</p>
<p>Engineering does not get easier. The upper level courses are applications and extensions of what one has mastered those first two years. </p>
<p>The three courses he is taking are a challenge for many students, especially differential equations. Thermodynamics isn’t a cakewalk either. And circuits? Honestly, this sounds like an EE set of courses.</p>
<p>Tell him to hang in there. Many engineers graduate with sub 3.0 GPAs…they still get good jobs.</p>
<p>But…this should be a heads up to people who think it’s great when they get into a program where their stats aren’t high…they’re the ones always feeling “behind,” “asking for help,” and unable to help others.</p>
<p>He can talk to his advisor if he has one. Maybe he can switch into civil engineering which I believe (just from hearsay,so I may be wrong) is a bit less difficult. Also, he should explore tutors on campus. As a parent, just be sure he knows you love and support him and will stand by any choice he makes if he chooses to switch majors.</p>
<p>I don’t know if the GPA is a concern, but how your son feels definitely is. Does he want to live like this for many more semesters, because that major doesn’t get easier. My friend’s S changed majors after sophomore year. He was probably at the top of his cohort in terms of incoming student stats, but just didn’t want to fight so hard every single day. Engineering is a stressful major, and not everyone is cut out for that level of work/stress. And that’s ok! BTW, he’s graduating with just one extra semester, in a field he really enjoys. He won’t start out as highly paid as an engineer, but I’m guessing down the road his salary will be fairly comparable as the field is bigger and with more opportunity. </p>
<p>Give your son permission to do what he thinks is best for himself, whether it is to stay the course or change majors. He’s looking for your support.</p>
<p>Kids often complain about their grades in Themal, Fluids, and Circuits classes. Employers are used to seeing iffy grades there and in some other classes.</p>
<p>I think you’re dealing with two different problems here.</p>
<p>1- Mastery of the material/passion for Mech E- if your son is struggling but eventually getting it, then encourage him to stay the course if he still loves engineering (and Mech E.) What’s important is that he understands what he’s learning and can keep up- the fact that it may take him more review sessions and more office hours isn’t important- that’s just the vehicle. If he’s reaching the goal- understanding and being able to perform, then his GPA isn’t important.</p>
<p>2- How he feels- if he’s demoralized and feeling beat up all the time, no longer loving Mech E, feeling like he’s drowning, then you’ve got a different issue. There is no reason for him to feel lousy if he hates it- he can switch to econ or applied math or bio or political science and study something he loves where he feels like a winner.</p>
<p>In either case- taking advantage of advising, counseling, tutoring, etc. is for sure the way to go just to get through this semester. You can encourage him by telling him that you are absolutely supportive of him staying in engineering, or switching- whichever he decides to do, and that you know he can get through this.</p>
<p>Thanks to each of your wonderful replies. They are so thoughtful and helpful and I will try to help my son get through this, and then figure out his options and next steps. </p>
<p>This is not necessarily true if the student is a sophomore, and depending on which major is being changed to. Changing from engineering to math or physics in sophomore year should not delay graduation, since the engineering course work until then covers the prerequisites for math or physics. Some humanities and social studies subjects with short prerequisite sequences can also be changed into without delay. However, some majors which have longer prerequisite sequences that needed to be started earlier (possibly biology or computer science) may be more difficult to fit into the remaining semesters if changed into.</p>
<p>OP - I can sympathize with you. It’s so hard to know what to do when your child is stressed or doing poorly in classes. I’m feeling the same with my engineering major.</p>
<p>Great responses from all. Thanks for sharing experiences. It really helps.</p>
<p>Speaking from experience, if your son is set on a mech eng degree, he might also look into a co-op program. If he is a good problem solver and worker in general, it might be a way to get off campus for a few semesters and also build up some references for full time employment. If the co-op schedules include a summer on campus for classes, that might also be a good change of pace.</p>
<p>I had so-so grades as a EE undergrad at a very competitive eng school, but also references from my co-op managers that I would make an excellent full time employee, so the grades were not as important in securing my first full time job. I also had time working on the co-op projects to discover a passion and build up some skills that I do not think I would have done on-campus with just a regular schedule of classes.</p>
<p>At my son’s school, differential equations is a prereq for thermo, and thermo is known as one of the harder classes. Your son needs to decide if he wants to be a mechanical engineer. If he does, I’d recommend to my son to stick it out. GPA may impact the ability to get the first job, but after that it is how you do on the job that will impact your future. </p>
<p>My DS is an EE student at a very competitive eng school. He has figured out that he does a lot better if he only takes 12-13 credits even though the “plan” says take 15-17… Can your son look at his schedule for next semester and take a lighter load? Maybe he could make up the extra classes in the summer or take an extra semester to graduate? With less classes he will probably won’t feel as stressed and hopefully he will be able to enjoy college.</p>
<p>DH majored in Mech. Engineering at a big state u. He’s a smart guy. DH was top of his class in h.s. but college was a different animal. He did well in some classes and not so good in others. He made it through with the maximum amount of " D’s" he could make and still graduate on time. After his junior year, he got a summer job at a nuclear power plant. He learned a lot and it looked good on his resume. </p>
<p>At the end of senior year, he interviewed with six power generation companies and got 5 offers. He accepted his favorite . He spent his whole career there. Just retired 6 months ago after 33 years at the same power plant. </p>
<p>I would second the idea of taking a lighter load of credits, IF he’s still excited about the mechanical engineering field. Even one fewer class each semester might ease the stress. It would give him more time to meet with tutors, and go to office hours for the classes he has, too. </p>
<p>Just be sure he meets with an advisor in the department to determine which courses he needs to take, and in what order, and what semesters they are offered etc. The sequencing of required courses in engineering curricula seems to be quite rigid, and an advisor can help him choose which courses can wait to fill in later, in the summer or an extra semester or two. </p>
<p>A 5 year plan is perfectly reasonable for some kids in these high stress majors, so long as they love what they are learning, and you can afford the extra semesters in school. </p>