One family's BS search and application process — start to finish (and then some)

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
141

<p>Nobody knows. Even the AO’s would at times be hard put to give a reason. His daughter would have thrived at Choate. Choate would have loved to accept her. That is a major point of this entire thread. With acceptance rates of 1:3 to 1:8, none of these schools can accept every qualified child, as most kids who apply would qualify. Kids they would love to have must be rejected every year with no discernible rhyme or reason. </p>

<p>My kid was waitlisted at Choate, and would have been in the top quarter or so of students there, academically. On paper, though, I would bet his academics at were “below” 7 Daughter’s. On the creative side he would be viewed similarly, although for very different reasons. Why was he waitlisted, a “better” result than 7’s rejection? See above. Once you qualify beyond a certain level it becomes a matter of class building. There will never be a reason, per se, other than someone else was a slightly better fit at this instant in a very subjective process.</p>

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<p>@HighFlyer1‌: Thanks for giving this old thread a read. I posted it years ago to outline the various steps of the process (based on our experience) and also — as BlairParent notes — to illustrate to folks shooting for the most selective schools that even kids who have great stats can get rejected from the handful of “top” schools most frequently mentioned on this board. Those who focus EXCLUSIVELY on the most selective schools do so at their own peril.</p>

<p>I could speculate about reasons why my older girl was rejected from Choate years ago, but it would be little more than conjecture. That said, I do feel that for the one school my younger girl was rejected from in the most recent applicant cycle, the parent interview was definitely a factor. My wife and I were not particularly supplicating in that interaction.</p>

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<p>Came across this piece recently. Didn’t really see any recent thread that would make sense appending it to, so figured I’d link it here.</p>

<p><a href=“Rox and Roll: Parents: let Harvard go”>Rox and Roll;

<p>When I read this (which, truth be told, I don’t 100% agree with…there are kids for whom having discussions about ultra-selective colleges is not a ludicrous idea), I thought that one could easily substitute “Andover” or “Exeter”…or any of the ultra-selective BS into the title.</p>

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<p>^^^^ thanks for linking, 7Dad, as the back and forth is always interesting (alluding to the comments section at the bottom of the blog)</p>

145

<p>Thanks 7Dad! Also would’ve been good in the class of 2015 thread, as we try to keep the college app process in perspective. More enduring here though, I think.</p>

146

I was about to write the following in a newer thread, but it was tangential to the OP’s topic and I figured why not put it in my own little bully pulpit.

I thought I’d take a second to explain (again?) my staunch “cast a wide net/don’t limit yourself to the ‘prestige’ schools” attitude. Which I’m sure rubs some/many people the wrong way.

Okay, so a fair number of people look to these “elite” BS as some sort of conduit to the Ivies. The wisdom of both targeting only ultra-selective colleges (and yes, I went to one myself, Penn Class of 1991…we dropped Sheldon!) and looking at high school only as a means to an end aside…I think people fail to understand that plenty of students who go to the “elite” BS don’t go to Ivies themselves. Some have no desire, and others simply don’t get in.

So, if you pick an “elite” BS solely to smooth your path to an Ivy/MIT+Stanford type school and then four years from now don’t get in…will you have looked at the past 4 years as a waste? Will your parents look at the $200,000+ dollars they’ve spent on high school as a waste?

Thinking about BS in terms of college matric sets you up for that sort of regret, IMO.

Additionally, I truly feel that the average kid who comes on CC grossly overestimates the strength of their application profile.

To use my own kids as an example/cautionary tale…my older daughter was one question away from a perfect SSAT with minimal prep (“here are some books honey, please take at least one practice test under timed conditions”) had great grades, etc. She was rejected (not waitlisted) by Choate. So when I see kids come on concerned that the 79%-ile score that they had gotten a tutor for might not be good enough for the 5 ACRONYM schools to which they are applying, I think “Really?”

I’ve said this before: some kids/parents think of schools as “first tier” and “second tier”…but perhaps haven’t thought about their applicant’s profile in the same way. Maybe in the rarified air of the BS applicant you are a “second tier” applicant. And you know what? That’s fine…unless, of course, you are targeting solely the most selective schools.

Going back to my kids…older girl is an National Merit Finalist. According NMC, that means she’s in the top 1% of all high school seniors. Do all of these “ACRONYM-only” applicants think that 3 years from now, they will be able to say the same — especially considering the elevated cutoff that BS applicants face for NMSF status? If you have any doubt, then I would seriously reconsider your application set if going to BS is important to you.

I had some long-winded (even more so!) blurb drafted about my younger daughter…but suffice it to say, I think only a handful of applicants could claim to have as strong a sports hook (national ranking, national medals, etc.) as she had when she applied to schools last year — but despite that she was rejected (not waitlisted) at Lawrenceville.

I understand that some have a “go big or stay home” mentality, and that’s fine (and somewhat understandable). But I still think that type of thinking eliminates dozens of schools at which the applicant would have had a rich high school experience…and possibly a better one than they got by staying home.

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I love @SevenDad‌ for preaching the “wide-net” spiel. It definitely influenced my list, but it also leaves me worried.

But it’s good to be worried. I needed a reminder that my chances are the size of a rat’s pinky toe (I’m so great at this literary device thing). I don’t have perfect grades or test scores, or any sort of hook. I’m just a regular kid with great essays and recommendations and an inextinguishable passion for learning, but that probably won’t be enough.

No one should be surprised if this year is a repeat of last. My SSAT percentile went down. My grades are lower, in classes that are, for the first time, leveled. My essays, however, are really strong. My English and personal recommendations are glowing. I have a teeny connection to my top choice school, although I think I’m dreaming that that has more weight than it does.

Thank you, @SevenDad‌, for giving good (maybe harsh) advice because you have our best interests in mind. Thank you to all of the CC parents.

The next time I’m on CC, I’ll have my decisions in hand. See you all in five days!

148

As always, best of luck, stargirl3. Fingers crossed.

149

Ditto. Good luck to stargirl3.

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@SevenDad, While it may sometimes seem as though no one is listening, you are making a difference. I know our list was influenced by your advice to cast a wide net. So thank you for continuing to beat that drum.

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Great post 7Dad. I couldn’t agree more.

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I read your post and realized maybe I should have looked a little harder to find some “hidden gem” schools as @PhotographerMom‌ likes to call them.

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@GryffinHunter: Don’t stress too much…you have a broader range in your “apply to” set than most. And you’re just days away from knowing your results.

I wrote post #145 because I wanted to explain the reason I bang the “wide net/hidden gem” drum so loudly here. I appreciate the folks who let me know it’s made a difference to them.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-ACRONYM (though it may seem that way if you don’t read this thread from the beginning)…in fact, each of my kids applied to at least one ACRONYM school. My older girl was even admitted to one. And these schools made my kids’ “apply to” lists because we thought there was something right about the fit at each one. I just don’t get the exclusive focus on “brand name” schools by many year after year, plenty of whom have weaker stats (and perhaps intangibles) than my own kids. Do people really think that only 5 schools offer a high school education worth pursuing?

I’ve asked this before: Are these same kids going to apply exclusively to Ivies+MIT/Stanford when that time comes? Would they not also consider Williams, Swarthmore, and yes, perhaps even state schools that are a good fit? Some have contended that the college process isn’t exactly analogous, but to my way of looking at things, it’s close enough.

154

This blurb just popped up on a recent post on the Waitlist thread and I think it bears some examination:

“My parents weren’t eager to send me to any other schools (that they didn’t know).”

While the author is an international student, the “my parents haven’t heard of ‘school x’ so won’t let me apply” thing is something I’ve seen reported by domestic students as well. Will these same parents restrict their kids to only Harvard, Yale, and Princeton when it comes time to apply to college?

IMO, part of the benefit of a forum like this is to find out about schools that might not have been on your radar to begin with.

155

Agreed in principle, SevenDad, but that presupposes that the parents are willing to be educated about the value of attending a BS other than Exover. Over the years, we’ve seen a number of kids on here asking for advice from other parents about how to help convince their reluctant parents to let them apply to BS or apply to more than just one or two schools. Sometimes you can lead a horse to water…

156

Non-sequitur, but didn’t want to make a second new thread about this…

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-cafe/1752298-the-cc-bs-podcast-club.html?new=1

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This thread should be close to the front page, especially as the new search season opens up. ~O)

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I was going to post this on that one thread in the general BS section, but figured that might not be appropriate. However, within the parents section (and in my own thread no less), I’d hope this is fine and know that skieurope will let me know if it’s not.

So, given the many suggestions parents of applicants to have a glass of wine to chill out while waiting for M10 2016, here are some suggestions:

  • La Spinetta Bricco Quaglia, Moscato D'Asti Sweet and light. Have it with desert or try it instead of champagne in a mimosa.
  • George DuBoeuf Brouilly, Beaujolais Not to be confused with Beaujolais Nouveau. A more robust Beaujolais, but still not that heavy.

The “Kid got good news on M10” wine:

  • Nicolas Feuillatte, Rose Brut NV, Champagne Less obvious than Veuve Cliquot, and the Rose touch amps up the festive quotient

Enjoy and feel free to add suggestions (parents only, of course).

159

We can stock up the bottles and open one for each announcement. (taking day off)

160

“The “Kid got good news on M10” wine” How expensive is that, because if the kid got good news, you might no longer be able to afford it! :wink: