<p>early_college - If you 100% agree with sevmom then this thread is done! Enjoy your break and look forward to going back to Knox with a different perspective.</p>
<p>Good point, amtc!</p>
<p>And to clarify above, the OP will likely say he’s familiar with, and has already researched, many of the schools that have been suggested in this thread. Thats not the point. The point is that energies should be placed on developing good social skills that will help with adjustment at Knox, any other school or ultimately a work environment, rather than energy misdirected to intensely researching schools on line.</p>
<p>I think the point is that it’s not the researching, which would take up the most time (because I’ve already done a big portion of that), but the actual applying part. I’m just going to try and make Knox work and if worse comes to worse, I can reevaluate after winter term.</p>
<p>Good plan. Agree that whatever takes you away from focusing on working on developing a healthy social network is not a good thing.
Knox’s Counseling center offers assistance in this area. Their website asys:
Looks like they can be very helpful in working through the struggles with social relationships. Worth looking into. [Counseling</a> Services | Knox College](<a href="http://www.knox.edu/offices-and-services/student-development/health-and-counseling-center/counseling-services.html%5DCounseling">http://www.knox.edu/offices-and-services/student-development/health-and-counseling-center/counseling-services.html)</p>
<p>Wherever you go, there you are!</p>
<p>I agree with everything jym626 says. It’s very good advice. Don’t waste time, energy, and stress thinking about transferring now. Try to make the present situation the best it can be. And take advantage of the counseling services. They’ve helped many people with the same problems as you before, and they probably have some good solutions.</p>
<p>IMO, get the transfer apps done <em>now</em>. After you do them (perhaps during your current break?), they will be out of your hands, and you can “work on” Knox without worrying about them and still have all your possible options on the table.</p>
<p>Thank you, snapplefan.
Agree that IF the OP is going to do transfer apps, they need to be done during this 6 week break so, as psych_ says, he can focus on school and socialization when he returns to Knox, and not be pulled/distracted by other things. But new apps will probably also require updated LORs (to be gotten after return to school), FA forms (which may need to be updated for Knox anyway), etc, and the OP talked at length last year about the arduous task of getting his dad to complete the FAFSA forms (CSS too maybe? I forget). More stress? Who needs it. </p>
<p>And FA packages are not typically anywhere near as attractive for transfers as for incoming freshmen, and if its not affordable, then it may be an exercise in futility.</p>
<p>And more importantly, if the work isn’t done on fine tuning the social adjustment/social skills, the same challenges, or even more difficult ones, may be in store upon transfer. Then what. Regret that one left a good academic and financial fit? </p>
<p>Agree that the OP should consider taking down the youtube video. How it was intended and how it comes acress are different beasts. I’ve been trying to find Ian Terry’s (the most recent winner of “Big Brother”) audition video, but can’t yet locate it. He’s a friend of my S#2 so I was going to ask him if the video was anything like what Ian is really like, and/or how much he played up the “nerd” factor (as was his role on Big Brother). Perhaps the fact that I can’t find his audition tape anywhere out there on the www is telling in and of itself…</p>
<p>**as an aside, I did find a video of Ian kicking himself in the head. That was pretty… wild.</p>
<p>Excellent points, jym. I agree. I do think he can finish most anything needed for the transfer apps over the break (e.g., request LORs via email) and that it would be prudent to do so.</p>
<p>I had a friend who transferred from a small LAC to a bigger university. She thought the LAC was too small and confining. After a year at the university she transferred back to the LAC with a new appreciation for it. I think they took all the university credits, so no real harm was done. It was sort of the equivalent of doing a junior year abroad, but as a sophomore.</p>
<p>Was that LAC called “the grass is greener college”? :)</p>
<p>Update:
I asked my DS about Ian. While he hasn’t seen the audition tape, he said that the way Ian was on the show is the way Ian is in real life. He (Ian) was being considered to be the Department Mascot (??) before he took time off to be on Big Brother. I guess he has gotten the last laugh.</p>
<p>For once, I actually do agree with Jym. Filling out the Common App would not take me that long. I finished all my applications really early last year. However, having to deal with my high school and get transcripts, school profile, etc will be a pain especially since I’m not there anymore. If you knew my high school, you would know why. I could ask the two professors for recommendations today, but it’s break, so they probably won’t start them until January. </p>
<p>The financial aid process was actually the real hard part. My dad is self employed, so we had to wait longer to fill out the FASFA and Profile. Knox doesn’t require the Profile, thank God. The whole financial aid process was such a huge mess. However, I helped my dad fill out both, so it may be harder for me to get him to fill out both out earlier when I’m not here. I went to our tax lady with him and had to explain it, and she updated it for us. Our estimated package’s were all way off when my dad did it the first time. </p>
<p>There is always so much nagging one can do when they live hundreds of miles away. I know for returning students at Knox, the financial aid deadline is later, so he can still wait until April and not have to rush it. There is also the stress on waiting for acceptances and financial aid packages. For me, it would be hard to “forget” about it. So, in my case, the financial aid process will be a lot worse than the application process. Either way, the transfer application process will still take more time than the six weeks I’m home (five weeks now). If I apply to just five college’s, a lot of these schools charge $60 per application, plus I’d have to send SAT scores in from College Board, pay $25 for the hs transcripts, pay for college transcripts, etc so it could be costly, and I’d probably be paying it out of my own checking account this time around.</p>
<p>I really do think I should be focusing on Knox, my school work, and getting a better social life. It was not a fun feeling crying in my dorm room on a Friday night, while I heard drunk kids outside my window lol. I’m really torn. Because deep down, I do not want to transfer, but I also know this will be my only opportunity to transfer, since I won’t consider it junior year. At the end of January, I could reevaluate, but then I’d probably have to rush all my applications. I also don’t want to deal with another stressful admission process. I will note though senior year was my best year academically (rose my GPA from a 3.389 to a 3.521), so the admission process certainly didn’t hurt me academically or socially for that matter.</p>
<p>I am still not getting the whole big deal about the Survivor video. My parents have seen it ,and they like it. Actually pretty much everyone I know has, lol. And I know for a fact that a lot of them genuinely love it. Yes, I know some people at Knox/CC made fun of it, but everyone gets haters. </p>
<p>I’m a huge Big Brother fan (more of a Survivor fan of course), and I loved Ian! It’s funny how on BB you have to be 21 to try out and on Survivor you use to be 18 (use to be 21, but they changed it). Survivor is so much harder physically than BB, so it doesn’t make much sense. It’s probably just because they drink on BB, and not really on Survivor (maybe on one or two reward challenges). I’d try out for BB too, well when I’m old enough. A lot of CBS casting is recruitment, and sometimes people try out for one show and get put on another. Parvati, from Survivor, tried out for Amazing Race, and ended up on Survivor. I have a feeling I’m going to be picked. I know it deep down inside. It’s seriously my lifelong dream :)</p>
<p>Perhaps for once you are listening, e-c. That would be lovely. I am not saying anything different than I have said before. Over and over. And over. </p>
<p>Ian appears to be on the spectrum, but has established social skills that work well for him. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of this skill.</p>
<p>Well, at first you did say that I should apply to transfer, but you changed your position once you thought about it more. </p>
<p>I’ve been watching Survivor since I was six. I know how the game is played well enough to know how to play the “early_college” card. I really think I can go far. Richard Hatch, winner of Season 1 of Survivor, was definitely not likable.</p>
<p>Actually I don’t believe I ever said you should transfer, as I don’t think that is the solution to the problem. I probably said that if that was the route you chose, that you should do the apps now and consider the schools that were close seconds last year (and not start all over again with new/different schools). But I repeat, I do not think you should transfer. I think you should contact the counseling center (I posted the link in an earlier post) and work on social skills and adjustment to the college social environment.</p>
<p>** And to clarify, what I meant by perhaps you are listening and that I am not saying anything different, is that what I have said here is the same general message I have said in other threads over the years. Over and over and over.</p>
<p>Just so you know, I have already talked to the Dean of Students and my advisor about my social problems at Knox. It isn’t something I haven’t told anyone about. I would talk to some close high school friends and vent to them, which definitely helped me get through some tough times.</p>
<p>Thats a start, e-c. But venting or talking to a faculty member about the social problems at Knox is very VERY different than going to counseling/therapy on an ongoing basis for either individual and/or group therapy with a trained professional to work on YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS. </p>
<p>While your social skills may work for you in some places, they apparently are not working for you, for the mostpart, at school, and that is the source of your tears, loneliness and feeling out of place. They (your classmates) arent the ones (for the mostpart) needing to change. You need to change. You can’t change your peers- you can only change how you interact with and respond to them. Your initial interaction with them with the FB page caused their initial response, and hopefully there is now some water under the bridge. And surely not every freshman was on that page and has a preconceived notion of you. You can reach out to others, but you really DO need assistance from a professional on taking what is called an ego-observing stance and seeing how others might see you/how you come across to others. </p>
<p>Social skills development takes WORK. and TIME. and PRACTICE. Make that committment to yourself to do this, not informally by venting with peers or chatting with the dean of students, but with a therapist trained to help you see where the work needs to be done and helping to guide you through it successfully. You owe it to yourself. As they say, this is the first day of the rest of your life. Dont tell yourself (or us) that your skills are fine or that you dont have the time. If your social skills were more polished, this wouldnt be such a challenge.</p>
<p>You are not the only person who has to work on these issues. Its common, along with general adjustment issues especially in college students, which is why your counseling center addresses it directly on the front page of their counseling webpage.</p>
<p>I am going to stick my fingers in my ears and say “lalalalala” so I don’t hear any excuses 
JUST DO IT. You will be glad you did.</p>
<p>A social skills GROUP is, IMO, the best approach, as the members can give each other feedback, and possibly establish some friendships in there as well (if that is allowed-- that varies from group to group).</p>
<p>**** ETA**** Their site says they offer individual and group therapy, and its free <a href=“http://www.knox.edu/offices-and-services/student-development/health-and-counseling-center/counseling-services/counseling-services-faq.html[/url]”>http://www.knox.edu/offices-and-services/student-development/health-and-counseling-center/counseling-services/counseling-services-faq.html</a></p>
<p>Any more advice and my meter is going to start running :)</p>
<p>^^^^Please listen and follow jym’s advice. She has listened and followed your posts for many years. She has always tried to help you. </p>
<p>Free counseling is a huge benefit of your college. It could cost you thousands of dollars later in life. Every one can benefit from understanding themselves and learning how to better get along in the world. I believe if you make it a priority this next trimester, it will make a real difference in your life. If you do the work and learn, think of all the years you have ahead that could be better.</p>
<p>OP, I would second the advice about checking in with the counseling services at your school. My nephew is a psychiatrist at a well known LAC, and we just spent a weekend staying with him while doing some final college visits for my youngest. I was struck by how much he liked and wanted to help the students at his school. I think he saw himself a lot in their struggles, and really empathized with the issues many of them had. It really isn’t all people with serious mental health issues, he also does a lot of meetings with kids who are strugging socially, or finding the college does not meet their expectations, or finding that they are not meeting their own expectations at college. If Knox has anyone like him on the staff, you will find it really beneficial to go chat with them about your issues. Talking with a dean or advisor or your high school friends is not the same. You should give it a try.</p>
<p>Regarding Survivor… it seems like that is your version of the Powerball ticket. 
A dream that gets you away from everyday life and the hassles. Nothing wrong with having made a video and sent it in (more power to you if you make it), but it is true that it does not make a great impression on anyone who Googles you. Time to take it down, as you really would not want a potential employer to see it. Taking it down from where everyone can see it does not mean the same as not trying to make it on the show.</p>
<p>Just wanted to let you know that I had a CC parent just PM me and tell me how much she liked my video. To each his own. But thanks for the suggestions Jym.</p>