Because of distance to travel and complicating schedule issues, daughter and I will arrive (by air) halfway through her very first opening day. I’ll have 4 hours on campus with her and then leave her for first year at boarding school. There will be some events to attend (e.g., meet advisors) during that time. What else should be top priorities? Are there things she will definitely need for her room that we should try to bring that day? There won’t be time to run out to buy a lamp, bed topper, or storage bin for her. I’m nervous about not doing something important. Can experienced parents offer any advice?
Personally, I’d move this up on the priority list, then. Particularly if the school is located in East Jabip, she’s not going to easily get bulky items she needs for her room. So unless you are bringing these items with you, or buying online for overnight delivery (which is a perfectly good option), I’d carve out 30-60 minus to get in the car and go to Wal-Mart, BB&B, etc. I’d certainly do that before doing a tour of the campus, listening to droning speeches, etc.
You don’t need to set up her room - she should do that, but she should at least have the tools.
As for the balance, without seeing the schedule, it’s hard to say what’s important. And if you plan to return for Parents’ Weekend, the events on that weekend may be more beneficial.
Can you give an outline of the opening day schedule? Are their events on the schedule your daughter will miss?
So, no way to arrive the evening before?
You can order stuff online and have it shipped to the school - either so it arrives and is waiting when you get there (check with school on proper procedures) or order once you see the room and what is needed/fits.
Are you planning to return for Parents Weekend?
Honestly, once she is settled, taking off is perfectly fine and often preferred by schools. They don’t want parents hovering. Given the distance and cost, some students will even come by themselves. Opening day is usually more about the student than the parent, IMO. You can also contact the advisor ahead of time and let them know your limited time on campus. That way, if your daughter needs help with something, the advisor will be in the loop and he/she can either help or get a student to help her.
Her sister is being married the day before, so nope–no way to shift that. Wedding was scheduled before the school decision was on the table. We will miss “New Boarding Student Registration,” which presumably includes moving-in time, and lunch. Returning boarders register after lunch, so we can register then. Will be there for “Faculty and Advisor Meet and Greet,” “Health Center Open House”[sounds missable], and “All Parent Info Session,” which takes place when students disappear for athletics but is only 30 mins. I don’t need another tour.
Definitely coming for Parent Weekend and there’s a relative an hour away who can make a visit sooner to facilitate urgent shopping needs. Sounds as if I should do a lot of prior communication so I’m not worried about dropped balls on that whirlwind day.
Congrats on the upcoming wedding! What a busy but fun time for you.
“New Boarding Student Registration,”
Probably a lot of waiting and handshaking. Can be easily accomplished and more quickly when you arrive I am sure.
“Faculty and Advisor Meet and Greet,”
You could make arrangements to meet your daughter’s advisor outside the formal time if needed. You can meet faculty Parent’s Weekend. They’ll actually know your daughter by then. 
“Health Center Open House”[sounds missable]
Yes, unless you had specific health concerns, I would say it is missable.
“All Parent Info Session,”
Maybe you glean some info but I think it is a way to keep parents busy and then to remind them to leave. I personally feel any questions parents have should have been addressed before signing the contract and dropping them off however, without fail, there will be some parents asking questions they should have asked 6 months ago.
Amazon Prime. Pretty much anything your daughter could want could be on campus in 2 days.
You should leave her with bedding, towels, clothing, basic toiletries and anything else that is essential for her (personal hygiene items, laundry supplies- even with laundry service it’s good to have basics for a few loads of laundry, a few room decorations - though there usually a poster sale on campus). Maybe a power strip too. You don’t have to take time to set up her room but I think everyone will feel better if she has the basics.
Can she buy anything on campus or walking distance? A few schools had CVS and small shops in walking distance. Other schools were more remote. Yes Amazon Prime is great for almost anything she needs.
Let the school/dorm parent know she’s arriving late so they can make any necessary accommodations.
Sounds like a fun but extremely busy time for you.
Yes, let them know in advance of your schedule and your D’s. Make sure you meet the dorm parent. Advis or if possible.
Most schools are happy to have you send things ahead of time, so do that. Fully concur that Amazon Prime will solve any after the fact problems and give you all peace of mind.
I am going to say "all parent info session " should be attended. If I ran a school (you can see where this is going!), this would be THE session for parents during orientation. Very clear info on when to contact school, who, how, etc. and clear expectations of what info is available to parents, how accessed, etc. You are essentially co-parenting with the school – you need to understand what the physically present half is expecting from you. And frankly, I have often found the questions raised by other parents in these sessions to be helpful.
Sounds like a whirlwind weekend!
Check if “all parent info session” will be available by streaming/video on the website for a while, then you can skip that too and spend that time helping DD registered, settled in the dorm room and figuring out what should be ordered/picked up locally.
Usually, I ship/bring more stuff to the school than needed and then after quick unpacking, I leave with stuff that is not necessary or won’t fit in the tiny closet. I return them to the store or take them home.
There’s a CVS in walking distance (Emma Willard), but hard for her to carry larger items. It sounds like maybe less is more when setting up the room, and we can add supplementary items via Amazon or at Parents Weekend. Thanks for the help sorting through priorities. We will definitely do as much prior communication as possible, which may be easier anyway for sorting any real issues. It just feels odd to think of spending those few hours and disappearing, but I guess we’ll rip off that Band-Aid. If there are any items pretty much every child turns out to need, it would be great to bring them along or ship ahead. I’ll ask the residential advisor folks. (Power strip sounds like one to add to the list–so easy to bring.)
Yes, a whirlwind weekend! Very happy new beginnings for both of these beloved daughters but having it all happen within 24 hours feels a little overwhelming.
If you haven’t yet, I’d make the school aware of your schedule and ask if there are any “don’t miss” events while you are there. Other than those mandatory meetings, I’d make the priority whatever is important to your D. For example, if she would feel unsettled if her bed isn’t made I’d help her to do that, if she wants to walk around campus a bit I’d do that, if she wants to go to head to meetings I’d do that.
Also agree – if you haven’t done so yet, I’d set up an amazon prime account. If you find you are missing anything you can probably find it on amazon and have it delivered to her in 2 days.
Being in similar circumstances sans wedding/shortened schedule, I would first ask…is it possible for you to run out after you drop her off and before you have to fly back? Because even if she has to run off for orientation things…you can make a quick shopping trip and bring items back to her and leave them with dorm parent, etc…or even in her room, if they leave dorm doors open on move-in day. (They did at DSs school until evening check-in time).
Here are the things DS said were most valuable to him…window fan, mattress topper, desk lamp, overdoor hangers (they actually worked for end of his bed, too and easy to pack with you…we found them at dollar store and brought half a dozen), hamper with handles…(.we got a pop up mesh one which would also travel easily), power strips (he ended up using two…one by his desktop and one by his bed). And he says those are listed in order of importance. And actually those are the things we brought at the beginning of the year.
I did supplement a few things afterward via Amazon…the manual carpet sweeper for room inspection when the vacuums were being used by others…shorts due to a growth spurt…minor things like that…but he’s said those things were essential.
I hope this helps … it is very hard to supply things long distance as it is, without the time crunch you will be facing. Good luck!!
What kind of overdoor hangers, @buuzn03 ?
They are just little metal hooks that sit on top of the door, and you can hang clothes, towels, book bags etc off of them. We bought them from the dollar store, but you can find them at target, Walmart or even bed, bath & beyond. But to pay $6 for 6 of them was worth a trip to the dollar store. I’ll see if I can find a link to show what they are, since I can’t post a picture. We have the “fancy” ones in our laundry room at home… lol
https://www.containerstore.com/s/hooks/over-the-door/twin-bamboo-over-the-door-hook/12d?productId=10035990
Here’s an example of one…obviously the nicer variety. The good thing though, was the bed frame was the same thickness as the door, so he had a few on the end of his bed, too. He also used one to hang his shower caddy off of, so it wouldn’t sit on the floor and would dry better.
Make sure you get a chance to meet the dorm parents. Sometimes one of the dorm parents isn’t on the faculty (most often a faculty spouse) but they can still have a great deal of contact with and authority over your child. They’re a good point of contact in addition to the advisor and just a quick check-in so you can al put names to faces is useful.
Oh!! I forgot shower caddy…for toiletries. We got a mesh one that would pack flat into a suitcase…also a cheap pair of flip flops for shower shoes!
For hooks, I highly recommend buying some command hooks. They can be used anywhere.
If there is a Target, Walmart, BB&B between the airport and the school, you can have an order waiting for you to pick up on move in day. Amazon can send almost anything if the school will accept the package and have it waiting for you - sheets, towels, the mattress pad, hangers, school supplies, snacks.
I kind of disagree with most people here. Other than toiletries, clothes and an extension cord, there really isn’t anything that can’t wait until either its shipped or you go for parent’s weekend. My kids never wanted a mattress topper, lights, hooks, hangars, etc. can wait until you see the room and there really isn’t anything urgent that would require you to rush to the store rather than order on Amazon or ship from home. Even the mattress topper can wait, if its necessary.
Well…is she a 3rd former? If so it seems a bit harsh to dump her off so quickly and unprepared. I would definitely have everything shipped and waiting and make getting her room in order a priority. In other words, make this possibly painful transition at least in such a way she doesn’t feel like one more rushed item on your to do list.