Optional Essay for Princeton ED

Applying to College
1

To be among 30 children from across the world, share perspectives between traveling across Ottawa and Quebec – I could only dream of such an opportunity! Yet I was being told of Experience Canada, a three-week long program that would bring together youth from 15 countries as well as Canada. Two students were to be selected from India.

However, fluency in French was a factor. I knew I would be competing with students who had been studying French since 2nd grade while Sanskrit was the only ‘foreign’ language I could study at school. And then there was what I saw as only a minor detail: they wanted 16-17 year olds. I was yet to turn 15!

But I was fascinated, and didn’t hesitate to apply. There remained the matter of knowing French. I, and three other kids who were equally enamored by Experience Canada, scouted for a French tutor. In the week that remained before interviews, we attended intensive French classes. I went into the interview cheerfully, and came out with a smile on my face.

Maybe it was too much to expect to be under the required age, have shady French and still be selected. That was perfectly fine by me. I was 15 now, and the summer of 11th grade afforded me ample opportunity to go all out in learning the language. I enrolled at Alliance Francais, and I had hardly started attending when I learnt of the interviews. I went in cheerfully, and came out with a smile on my face. Didn’t make it.

And so, the next year rolled in, it came to be that I was 16, knew enough to converse in French, and had a strong desire to represent my country – didn’t really have anything to lose trying, did I. I went into the interview cheerfully, and came out with a smile on my face. Need I say more?

I wasn’t selected for the third year in a row. And I had no one to blame but myself. Maybe they just got bored of me. I don’t regret it though. I developed a keen interest in a new language; I became deeply interested in Canada as a country, and in fact, learned a great deal about India as well, as I read books like India Unbound by Gurcharan Das and an amazing book called People Unlike Us.

And really, nothing’s stopping me from trying again next year. I’ll still be 17 too!

<hr>

I was thinking of sending this as an optional as I didn’t really make it. And seriously, if this doesn’t show my persistence, I don’t know what does!!

2

<p>Hmm. If you want to send an essay about a disappointment, the stakes need to be higher at the beginning, the odds of getting what you want clearly lower. We need to hear more about your hard work. And most of all, we need to know what you learned from this experience.</p>

<p>The beginning sounds too gushy for my tastes -- one parent's opinion. I would start with a simple, determined-sounding sentence on your ambition to participate in Experience Canada. Maybe give us some examples of mental pictures you have of Canada and the itinerary that make the trip sound so enticing, so we can empathize. </p>

<p>Mention, then, why you're at a bit of a disadvantage (only Sanskrit at your school), and so you knew you would need to work hard. </p>

<p>Then pound away at all the hard work you did, day after day, year after year, and what it was like to squeeze that into the rest of your daily life. </p>

<p>Then, when you find out you didn't make it, we need to hear much more about what you learned from the experience. (I would leave out the idea that they got bored with you; it should be obvious from the beginning that your chances are slim, so no need to comment on why you didn't make it.)</p>

3

<p>Aparent5, thanks a lot for your comments! I'll come up with another draft</p>

4

<p>To be among 30 children from across the world, sharing our unique perspectives. To discuss the challenges arising out of cultural diversity, between traveling across Ottawa and Quebec. To visit the Niagara Falls, talk about environmental protection, and meet opinion leaders... I was fascinated. I was being told of Experience Canada, a three-week long program sponsored by the government of Canada that would bring together youth from 16 counties. Two students were to be selected from India. I didn’t hesitate to apply.</p>

<p>However, fluency in French was a factor. I knew I would be competing with students who had been studying French since 2nd grade, while the only ‘foreign’ language I could study at school was Sanskrit. And then there was what I saw as only a minor detail: they wanted 16-17 year olds. I was yet to turn 15!</p>

<p>I, and three other kids who were equally enamored by Experience Canada, scouted for a French tutor. In the week that remained before the interviews, we attended intensive French classes. At home, I devoted myself to learning more about Canada, our globalizing world and relating my thoughts and experiences to the cultural diversity I saw. I went into the interview cheerfully, and came out with a smile on my face. Maybe it was too much to expect to be under the required age, have shady French and still be selected. That was perfectly fine by me.</p>

<p>I was 15 now. I had become deeply interested in Canada as a country, and was learning a great deal about India as well. I read books like India Unbound by Gurcharan Das that traced India’s path to economic reform, and an amazing book called People Unlike Us: The India that is Invisible, which sensitized me to the diversity within my own country, the people I don’t see and don’t know. The summer of 11th grade afforded me ample opportunity to go all out in learning French. I enrolled at Alliance Francais, and I had hardly started attending when I learnt of the interviews. I went in cheerfully, and came out with a smile on my face. Didn’t make it.</p>

<p>And so, the next year rolled in, it came to be that I was 16, knew enough to converse in French, and had a strong desire to represent my country – didn’t really have anything to lose trying, did I. I went into the interview cheerfully, I came out with a smile on my face.</p>

<p>I wasn’t selected for the third year in a row. And I had no one to blame but myself. I don’t regret it though. I developed a keen interest in French, which I intend to continue learning. I developed a passion for global issues and economic development, and in this passion I discovered what I want to do with my life.</p>

<p>And hey, nothing’s stopping me from trying again next year. I’ll still be 17 too!</p>

5

<p>cute!!!!!!!!</p>

6

<p>Nice, astrix. Really shows your persistence and resilience, two great qualities. When you write, "I developed a passion for global issues and economic development, and in this passion I discovered what I want to do with my life," I wanted to hear a little more about what you meant. I'm sure you don't have a lot of extra space, but just a bit more information here would be nice. Good luck!</p>

7

<p>Overall, its good, but work a bit on the beginning. It's interesting, but not a grabber. Make the words jump out and pull the reader in.</p>